Claws

Previously on "Claws"...

What is her name? Oh, Eve.

Meeting Eve helped me discover

my wife's purpose -- midwifery.

The Baron had this friend with terminal cancer,

and I helped her cross to the other side.

I think I found my calling.

I'm meant to be a death doula.

I meant it when I said I've never felt this way before.

The business was going so good.

I leaned in, and maybe I got lost in the sauce!

You stole from me, bitch!

Aah!

No one wanted this to happen.

It was an accident, y'all.

Bambi got what she deserved.

Look, me and the girls didn't think people

were going to start getting killed.

I'm going to protect you, every single one of you.

Trust her. Where are the girls?

Well, me and Ann were...

We were just dealing with an employee issue,

and the -- and the girls ran off.

I'm sorry. The court has ordered them

placed in a foster home.

Oh, God. No.

Shut up and drive.

I did not tell y'all where those kids were

for y'all to kidnap them!

Own your shit!

Ain't nobody making you do nothing!

-Shit. -Aaah!

Shot me right in the ass!

I'll pay the team what you asked for.

Couldn't let you take the rap for being good parents

and wanting to be with your babies.

Just let me take the heat. You're going to take her?

Obviously. Can you take Baylor, too?

All right.

Dessie, there's chicken. She's a -- she's a vegan!

Then she ain't got to eat it.

Dessie, I -- I -- Please be nice to my girlfriend.

I -- I really like her.

And what makes you think I wouldn't be?

Years and years of experience.

Besides, I've been very cordial to Tony.

Okay? Come on.

All right.

To the baddest bitch in Palmetto.

You work your ass off, baby.

You making the paper to show for it,

but you still got some left for your boy.

Keep talking that sweet talk, baby,

and I'ma reward you again.

My sister has always been very -- very comfortable

with her abundant sexual appetite.

Well, that's the way nature made women.

It was society that had other ideas.

Well, Eve, what made you decide to become a midwife?

It was actually by accident.

I was out camping in the Everglades

with a pregnant friend, and she went into labor,

so I delivered that baby in between two palm trees

with a possum watching the entire thing.

Hell no!

Girl, give me a hospital and all the drugs, okay?

What? Dean, it was one thing when

women didn't have a choice but to squat in the dirt

and have a baby, but now?

Shiiit!

Dessie, you're being very disrespectful

to my girlfriend's beliefs.

Uh, the honesty is appreciated,

and in the name of honesty,

uh, maybe I should clarify that I am not your girlfriend.

Oh.

Oh, oh, oh!

Uh, uh, oh.

I -- I, um, then... Okay.

Then -- then -- then what are we?

Because I thought -- I thought --

I thought we had something special.

Anybody, uh, want anymore wine or hit a blunt?

Mnh-mnh. What I meant to say was

that I just don't like labels.

Maybe we can talk about this another time?

No, I -- I -- I -- I want to talk about it right now.

I want to -- and -- and --

And labels are essential for categorizing

and understanding the world, so...

Dean, I think what she's trying to say...

I know what she's trying to say, Dessie!

Dean?

I'm glad we past that shit. You know what I'm saying?

We ain't past nothing. What you talking about?

Come on, now. You know you mygirl.

You cute, but I ain't nobody's girl.

I don't belong to nobody but myself.

Can you get me some more wine?

Yeah.

You still haven't told Desna?

Do you want to get beaten?

Georgia promised to keep her mouth shut about killing Bambi.

Relax, Pol! Easy for you to say.

Now I have to keep it up with Des,

and you know how bad I am at lying.

Okay. I'm great at lying, but...

Ladies, I got some great news.

Tom Selleck, you unhand me!

Hey, girl. You okay?

Yeah. Yeah. I guess I just fell asleep.

You been here since yesterday?

Well, not on purpose, you little cartoon eel.

It's just hard going home right now without the girls,

and Bryce is always at the warehouse,

so I thought I would just stay a smidge late

and catch up on some prime erotica,

and then I was watching TV on my phone,

and, y'all, I -- I had dreams that Tom Selleck

did some unspeakable things to me with a reverse mortgage.

What do you think that means?

Sugar, it means we need to talk.

Are you and Bryce even dealing with

anything that's been going on?

Yeah, in our own ways. I deal, and he don't.

Baby, you spent the night in a pedi-lounger.

And? What part of that is dealing?

You know what? I gotta pee like a dalmatian,

so if you got something to say, let's get it out.

Oh, I got something to say.

Okay. Y'all, listen.

Y'all know we have been killing it with Claws Up, right?

Skip, Tabitha, Sheree,

everybody has been making money hand over fist.

We even blowing Clay and Ann out the water.

We making so much income right now

that we can't launder it all through this salon,

so we getting our 40 acres and a mule

'cause mama got us a second salon!

We got a second salon, aye!

Aye! We got a second salon!

All: Aye!

We got a second salon!

I did pee just a little bit.

Ladies, it's all ours.

I signed the lease today.

Shut the front door! Mnh-mnh.

We're moving on up.

Des, this is won... This is wonderful, babe.

The wonder don't stop here, bitch.

You have been my ace since day one,

and that's why your Black ass is the new manager

of Nail Artisans Two!

Des!

You're shitting me!

No, I'm not. You deserve it.

Plus, it'll help you keep your mind off

missing the girls. Yeah.

That promotion is going to look great to the court.

-Yeah. -Desna Simms, you will not

regret this, okay?

And just whatever shit's been happening

between us, it's over, okay?

Facts, okay! You want to hold me close?

Oh, fix your face.

All of our dreams are literally coming true, y'all.

Give me some.

Yes!

Hey. Hey.

So I know it's a few months away, but, uh,

what if I get us tickets to see La Lupe?

I appreciate it, but I've been trying

to get my ass out of here ever since I signed up with Clay.

Come again?

If I can clear my criminal record

and make stacks off these fentanyl patches,

then according to my spreadsheet here,

in 10 weeks, it's bye-bye Palm-ghetto.

I think I know a way that can help you get

your stacks sooner and maybe come with you.

Take your best shot, Bozo!

Yeah, judge says my shot-up ass wasn't worth keeping in jail.

Of course, I think he just had a crush on me.

'Merica. Yeah, well, we ain't here

to discuss my God-given privilege, are we?

Besides, I got butt-cupuncture in a half hour.

You may want to cancel that.

Ever been down to the cruise port?

Hell, girl, I used to cruise the shit out of them docks.

I went to Junior Prom with the health inspector