The Misadventures of Merlin Jones

They call him Merlin Jones

the scrambled egghead.

Merlin Jones

the campus kook

but my heart's whirlin.'

I'm the girl in love with Merlin Jones.

I heard weird noises late one night

as I passed the science wing.

I looked inside, and there he was

workin' on the darndest thing

the thing got up and buzzed and beeped

and walked right out the door

and Merlin said

at last it works!

I wonder what it's for.

We call him Merlin Jones

the scrambled egghead.

Merlin Jones

the campus kook

but her heart's whirlin'

she's the girl in love with Merlin Jones

although I know his way out brain

is on cloud nine

his kisses make me want to be his Mrs...

frankenstein

call him crazy, call him mad

with oddball overtones

all I know is I got it bad

for Mr. Merlin Jones

lots of fellas in the school

have asked her out on dates

but this brainy way out wig

is the only one that rates.

I can't help bein' proud of him

when he puts his brain in gear

although a voice inside me cries

get me out of here!

We call him Merlin Jones

the scrambled egghead.

Merlin Jones

the campus kook

but her heart's whirlin'

she's the girl in love with Merlin Jones

although I know his way out brain

is on cloud nine

his kisses make me want to be his Mrs...

frankenstein

call him crazy, call him mad

with oddball overtones

all I know is I got it bad

for Mr. Merlin Jones.

Mr. Merlin Jones

love my Merlin Jones.

Hiya, Jen!

Hello, Norman.

Hey, what's the big rush?

I have a class.

Hey, listen, Jen.

The lettermen's ball is next Saturday.

It'll be the swingingest deal of the year--

Sorry, Norman, i already have a date next Saturday.

Merlin Jones? Yes.

What's he got that I haven't got?

I'm afraid I don't have enough time to answer that.

Listen, Jennifer, i can do things for you.

I mean, i'm a big man on this campus.

I don't like to brag, but-- Oh, of course not.

You take last week's football game.

Who scored the winning touchdown?

Who fumbled twice and cost US two touchdowns?

Could've happened to anyone.

Well, who coached most of the players in math?

You know, if it weren't for Merlin,

midvale wouldn't have a team.

You'd all have flunked.

Hi, Jen. Hi, Merlin.

Hey, the brain's going out for football.

Not exactly. You see this is--

What position you gonna play, Jones?

Drawback?

Oh, lay off.

I can see Merlin now,

smashing his way through a tough, heavy line.

A line of Latin, i mean!

And can't you hear the crowd roar

when he tackles a physics problem!

Listen, you all-American lunkhead--

Watch what you're saying, Jones!

Norman, don't you think it's about time

you fed the animals in the lab?

Yeah, and don't forget

to clean the cages while you're at it.

Don't pay any attention to him, Merlin.

Musclehead.

You know, going after you

is the first sign of intelligence he's ever shown.

Well, it won't do him any good.

Don't forget, you promised to drive me into town.

I won't forget.

I'll pick you up right after your class. Okay.

Merlin Jones!

You were supposed to pick me up an hour ago,

and here you are reading a newspaper!

But it's part of an experiment, Jen.

Now look at this.

I've been working on it for months.

It's kind of a super sensitive electroencephalograph,

and it picks up the brain waves

put out by any kind of mental activity.

That's fascinating, but you were supposed to--

Let's dance.

Merlin, be serious!

Even an activity like dancing

must have a distinctive brain wave pattern.

Let me see.

Adjust the rheostat. And the oscillator.

That's it.

Dancing brainwaves

look, look at the difference

between the reading and the dancing brain waves.

Are you gonna drive me into town or not?

Kiss me. What?!

No, i mean it, kiss me.

Not here in the science building!

What better place for a scientific experiment?

Jenny, i want to see what kind

of a brain wave reaction I have

when you kiss me.

Besides, there's nobody around.

Well, if it's part of a scientific experiment,

i suppose it's all right.

Mmm, wow! Look at that!

Now that is what I call a kiss.

Interesting.

But can we go now?

Uh-uh. It's your turn now.

Me? Mm-hmm.

You put this on, and now I kiss you.

You sure this comes under the heading of science?

Absolutely, yeah. All right.

What's wrong?

Well, there's plenty wrong.

Jenny, is that all I mean to you?

I mean, the graph doesn't lie.

I know, but--

Look, something's unplugged.

Oh, well, we gotta try it again then.

UN-uh, now you're driving me into town.

Well, okay, if you'll help me load this stuff in the car.

In the car? Mm-hmm.

I want to show you something. Look here.

"Judge holmsby cracks down on traffic violators.

"In a speech yesterday,

"judge holmsby deplored the increase.

"in traffic violations.

"among the students of midvale college.

The judge said, quote,

"that the only way to handle the problem

was to mete out the maximum penalties--"

I know, i heard it on the radio.

But what does that have to do

with putting this stuff in the car?

Well, Jenny, don't you see?

I'll have this all hooked up in the car while I'm driving.

Then I can find out what goes on

in the average driver's mind.

Merlin, that's ridiculous.

All scientific experiments seem ridiculous at first.

But I don't mind seeming ridiculous

if I can help find the cause of this traffic problem.

I don't know, Merlin.

One more of your experiments while driving,

and the judge is gonna throw the book at you.

Oh, Jenny, don't worry.

The judge'll appreciate what I'm doing.

Don't you see? He needs my help.

Wow, Merlin, dig that crazy hat!

Where'd you get that crazy hat?

Do you hear that?

That's a new one.

Something really is happening to my brain.

The vibrations are getting bigger and bigger!

You're practically off the tape!

Let me see your driver's license.

Merlin Jones. Yes.

And you're a student at the college. Mm-hmm.

And you don't have the slightest idea

why I stopped you.

No, officer, we don't.

And you're a student too.

Yes, sir.

You college kids gotta learn

you can't fool around in traffic

and get away with it.

Oh, well, we weren't fooling around--

No, these grow right out the top of your head, eh?

Oh, no, sir.

It's part of a scientific experiment.

You see, this is a modification

of the ordinary basic electroencephalograph,