Turning Point

Is someone there?

Margot, I thought I heard you sneaking around.

What are you doing up so late?

Nothing.

What you got there?

A little snack?

I haven't seen my little girl in a while.

Is everything okay?

Let me look at you.

Are you gonna make me walk

all the way over there in my weak state?

Margot!

Where are you going?

Oh my God. What happened?

He fell.

- Honey, what are you doing up out of bed?

Margot, come help me clean this up.

Margot, get over here now!

She was running from me.

She's afraid of me.

No.

- My own daughter's afraid of me.

My own daughter.

- Mom, that's disgusting. I drink that too.

Can you help me clean a little?

Pilot's coming in for dinner tonight.

I want this place to look not like a shit hole.

And can whoever that is not be here, please?

- What kind of name is Pilot anyway?

- It's a nickname. - What's his real name?

- Paul. - And how old is Paul?

Oh Jesus.

- Stop, he's not that much older.

30, 40? Could I date him?

Oh, stop, Ew, no.

He's 30 something.

- Why can't you date boys your own age?

Because boys are immature

- And a 30 something year old with a nickname is mature?

- Mature enough to have a job, money, and a car,

which is a lot more than I could say about some people.

- You're growing up so fast, honey.

Too fast.

Somebody has to.

Are you gonna help me clean or not?

Yeah, sure, sure.

As soon as I can find an asprin.

- I'll take care of that headache, darling.

Oh my God. Baby, again?

- What up? - Hey, Pilot.

- What's all this? - Cedar planks, plywood.

- I know what it is. What's it for?

- Oh, I'm putting a playhouse in the backyard.

- You a little old for a playhouse?

For my daughter.

- It's gonna be one hell of a playhouse.

- So, wait here, I'll be right back.

Yep.

You all right, Eli?

It looks a little fucked up in here.

- I mean, McKayla left, took Reagan,

went to her parents.

Wait, like, left for good?

That's what she says.

You know anyone that wants a piano?

I can't stand the thing.

And she doesn't even play,

it just sits there without a purpose.

- So, wait, what happened? - She found my stash,

read a couple texts.

One thing led to another

and she figured out that I don't exactly pay for this house

with an honest day's work.

- So, what are you gonna do? - I don't know.

Business is good.

Got three pretty big drops tonight alone.

- Yeah, women. - Mm. Yeah.

500. - Yep. Oh yeah.

Well, she'll be back.

All right, we'll see.

- Hey, can I hit the bathroom before I get outta here?

- You're not gonna take a shit, are you?

It's between me and God.

- Hello and welcome to another episode

of "Zombie Playhouse".

I'm your host, Casper Credence,

AKA CC, AKA Captain Cannibal.

Now, for those of you who don't know,

today marks a celebratory episode, our 100th.

It's a milestone to say the least,

and we couldn't have done it without the support

of our loyal listeners, so thank you.

Let's get right into this.

Okay, so I'm gonna start with something

'cause it's been on my mind.

Recently, I've received quite a few emails

and messages regarding zombie sightings in the area.

Now, for the record, I get these all the time,

but these particular sightings are interesting

because they all have one thing in common.

See if you can guess what that is.

One loyal listener wrote , " While walking

my dog in Hideaway Park yesterday ,

I was chased by a man who was bleeding

from the eyes and groaning ."

Sounds like me after a light jog .

Here's another one.

"Hey, big fan.

Anyway, I think I almost ran over a zombie

in Hideaway Park yesterday

before he disappeared into the woods."

I'm not making this up.

These are emails from different people.

Okay, here's one more.

" A mutilated homeless man tried to bite me in the bathroom

at Hideaway Park ."

Have you guessed the commonality ?

If you said Hideaway Park,

then you win a prize.

Now, look, if this is part of some prank

to help me ring in my centennial episode,

well then it was well coordinated and bravo to you.

But if this is not a prank, if these sightings are real ,

if the living dead walk among us, then ...

Then we're in some serious shit.

Hey, Eli, heard about what happened between you and McKayla.

I'm sorry, man. That's gotta hurt.

- Do me a favor and just focus on your monster show

instead of my relationship.

- It's a zombie podcast, you know that.

I told you literally a million times.

Guess I wasn't listening.

- What's your problem with me all the time?

I just try to be nice and neighborly to you.

- It's annoying that you know every little thing

that's going on because you don't have a life.

- It's on her social media, dude.

- Like, I don't even know how old you are,

but you gotta be too old to live with your mom,

and your fascination with make-believe creatures,

it's not normal.

- Don't come running to me when there's a zombie apocalypse.

You see? That's what I mean.

You actually go to sleep at night

with that thought in your fucking head.

- It could happen. - Okay, let's say it could.

Let's say it does.

What are you gonna do about it?

What is Casper gonna do about it?

You gonna save the world? You?

You know what?

I'm not getting into this with right now.

You're putting your negative bullshit onto me

and I got a hot date tonight, I don't need that.

Your mom's not hot.

Asshole.

- You know, my ex and I actually met at a church,

if you can believe it.

But ironically, we never attended together as a family.

Did Margot tell you about her father?

No, she didn't.

- Mom. - What?

- He didn't come over to hear depressing stories.

Oh, you didn't?

Anyway, it's not depressing, it's just life.

He died of cancer when she was 10.

I didn't know. I'm sorry.

It was very aggressive.

He was in a lot of pain.

Jesus. Spare him the details.

- No, I don't mind. - Well, I mind.

- Margot doesn't like people talking about stuff like that.

She doesn't want people to feel sorry for her,

so she doesn't really mention it.

- Margot also doesn't like when people talk about her

when she's present.

What about your parents?

You don't have to answer her.

Oh, come on.

Some people actually like talking about their family.

Okay.

My dad's dead and my mom's an alcoholic.

Did I miss anything?

- Margot, Don't be a bitch! - Mom!

- My parents divorced when I was a kid, actually.

- Well, I am sorry to hear that, Pilot.

No, it's totally fine.

I mean, it was a long time ago and they both got remarried.

Stepdad is cool, stepmom's a little crazy,

but you know, like, it's fine.

They'll make it work.

- Should I call you Paul or Pilot?

'Cause I feel a little silly calling you Pilot,

if I'm being honest.

You can call me Paul.

- Why do people call you Pilot anyway?

He flew for the Air Force.

- You did? - Yeah.

Yep.

- Well, and here I was thinking it was just