Mister Blot's Academy (Akademia Pana Kleksa)

MR BLOT'S ACADEMY

PART 1

Prince Matthew's Adventure

My name is Adam Niezgodka.

I'm 10 years and 4 months old.

I'm going to tell you now about Mr Blot's Academy.

I was a helpless boy...

Awkward, and always late for school.

All thumbs, my mother said of me.

Nobody ever asked me to join in any games

because I was supposed to bring bad luck.

But games bored me, I preferred books.

I dreamed of marvellous adventures,

though I was afraid I might really be no good.

That is until the day...

But wait and see for yourselves.

Welcome, Adam, in our tale of

Mister Blot's Academy.

Mr Blot himself has invited you to join us.

And you'll be welcomed by a song.

In the land of Cockaigne

Puss in Boots spins his cane

And prances hand in hand

With an ass on an ant

A guinea hen they say

Lays a golden egg each day

An oak has apples on it

Each in ermine bonnet

A venerable whale

Wears specs to read his mail

There's salmons and sardines

In tomatoes and baked beans

And a circus of white mice

Skating on a mountain of ice

Where's that happy place?

Vanished without a trace...

I'm so pleased you found your way

into our tale.

I'm sure you'll like it here.

You'll have great fun.

The classrooms, bedrooms and dining-room

are on the ground floor.

On the first floor you'll find the kitchen, my study

and doors leading to other stories.

My secrets are on the 2nd floor

where only Mat the starling and I are allowed.

No entry except through the chimney.

We'll start our tour with the kitchen.

You can help me get the meal ready.

Every story has its own favourite colour.

Much depends on colour.

Mood, effect and spontaneity.

In our tale you'll find all the colours of the rainbow.

Each stands for a quality I value highly:

candour, energy and simplicity.

Hand me a clean brush.

Thank you.

I know how to make edible paints

which represent different flavours.

Blue is sour, green tastes of mint,

pink is sweet, red is bitter

and yellow is salty.

By combining different shades we obtain

other more complicated flavours.

Green and white with a touch of grey

tastes of vanilla.

Brown and yellow tastes of chocolate.

White and silver with a hint of jade

tastes of pineapple.

Today we'll serve...

flower soup.

Flower soup in three flavours.

It'll be ready in a moment.

For the second course we'll serve duck.

I'll just have to blow it up a little.

That's what my magnifying pump is for.

I'm not a wizard or a magician.

I just like to invent things

and I'm an expert story-teller.

Let's hurry.

Mat's ringing the bell for lunch.

Pour the soup into the tureens and take them down.

Meanwhile, I'll see to the duck.

Alfred I, Antony and Andrew II.

Adam II, Alfred, Andrew...

and Adam.

A new boy.

What's your name?

Adam Niezgodka.

You know what's for lunch today?

Duck.

Dotty Duck

I give you my word

Was a very

Peculiar bird

Instead of

Staying at home

She took

Long walks on her own

At the barber's

She quacked nicely "Please, just a quarter of cheese"

And at the drugstore next door

She asked for half a pint more

At the laundry she ordered a yard of stamps

To put on a card

Her family set up a set up a howl

Can nothing be done with that fowl?

She hardboiled her eggs in the snow

And pinned up her curls with a bowl

It made the other ducks foam

When she used a match as a comb

Once when she'd gobbled a book

She broke into gobbledygook

She chewed up a lot of spaghetti

And said she was making confetti

And once she swallowed a dime

Just for the sake

The sake of the rhyme

Her folks all quacked in distress

Oh dear, what a terrible mess!

At last, they found her a buyer

Who said

He was willing to try her

He picked up our Dotti and trussed her

And in the hot oven he thrust her

But he wished he had saved his money

When Dottie turned into a bunny

That is the last news we heard

Of this very peculiar bird.

Flower soup!

Adam!

I'll serve the duck myself.

You decide what we're to have for afters.

I thought to myself

this must be the start of my great adventure.

I hoped it wasn't just make-believe.

Well, what sweet have you chosen?

Omelette and cherries in chocolate.

Omelette and cherries in chocolate...

That's a speciality of ours!

I'm sure you'll like it.

What'll you eat, sir?

Two pills to make my hair grow and four freckles.

Freckles are good for

memory, mental powers and against colds.

No more freckles?

Go to Philip Barber for a fresh supply.

Philip visits us every Thursday

but I can't wait that long.

You'll find his shop in Grey Street.

I found the place without any trouble.

I wondered what it was like inside.

I'd never been to a hairdresser's before.

Mr Aloysius!

What are you doing here?

My establishment is for adults only.

A little thieving rascal, are we?

Who are you and who sent you here?

Mr Blot sent me for some fresh freckles.

So you are a pupil at my dear friend's academy!

Happy to make your acquaintance.

You don't look like

those affected little prigs he collects here.

I'll find you some freckles right away.

Straight from the safe, fresh in today...

freckles.

Mr Blot will be pleased.

Tell him it'll soon be his turn...

to do me...

a favour.

- What? - You look as if you...

had your head screwed on properly.

Yes...

Soon, you'll all have a big surprise.

See you soon, little know-all.

Very nice.

I was in a hurry to tell Mr Blot

about this strange goings-on.

Adam.

I'm glad you're back.

- Professor... - You'll tell me everything tomorrow.

Have some wonderful dreams.

- Goodnight. - Goodnight.

Uncovered as usual.

Oh, dear...

Sleep tight.

Good morning my merry warblers.

Good morning.

Mat, time to wake up the boys.

Did somebody order a wake-up call?

Why do you always start with us?

The moon once visited a pool

Because he wanted to be cool.

Come and join us under the rain-tree.

Who'll preside?

Adam III.

Please!

The moon once visited a pool

Because he wanted to be cool

The fishes all came up for air