Megamind vs. the Doom Syndicate

- Okay, okay. That's enough of that. - (music slows, stops)

Hello, loyal viewers!

Like me, you probably never thought this day would come.

I see some old friends. I see new friends.

I see friends who frankly should put some pants on

and venture outside occasionally.

Seriously, get some sun!

But, for those who are just joining us,

here's a little something to catch you up in the form

of my incredibly exciting superhero origin story!

- (beeps) - (exciting music playing)

Metrocity, a city full of danger,

and only Metro Man was strong enough to defend it from evil.

- Until I totally kicked his butt! - (zap)

- That's me, Megamind. - (dance music playing)

Incredibly handsome criminal genius

and master of all villainy.

But without a hero to fight, I felt lonely.

So I created a new superhero to play with named Titan.

Unfortunately, he was a worse villain than I ever was.

It was then that I realized

my destiny was not to be a supervillain,

but a superhero.

- I defeated Titan and saved the day. - (whirring)

I became Megamind, defender of Metrocity.

- (crowd cheering) - But little did I know,

my greatest challenge was yet to come.

Blue Mackerel: You're in my personal space, bro.

Red Snapper: Oh, well, excuse me for swimming!

I don't think that was a sincere apology!

- It's not! - Big King Fish: Both of you, clam up!

We got work to do.

- (intense music playing) - Go fish.

Here goes.

- (yelling, laughing) - (reels unspooling)

There it is.

- (jewels sparkling) - (laughs) Catch of the day.

- (glass cracking) - (water rushing)

Ooh, this little baby's gonna be worth a fortune

on the black fish market!

You'd think with all the time you guys spent

swimming in "shools," you'd be smarter.

The Go Fish Gang: Megamind?!

I knew it was only a matter of time

before the Go Fish Gang tried to steal

the diamond-encrusted koi

on loan from the Beijing Water Palace.

It's something the old evil me

would've done (laughs) way back in the day.

Sir, "way back in the day" was just two days ago.

That's all? Time certainly drags when you're a good guy.

Minion, how could you possibly serve

a bad guy who's turned hero?

Quick correction there.

Due to a cease-and-desist order from popular fast food chain

Mr. Minion's Meat-sicles,

I can no longer call myself Minion.

So, Megamind gave me a new name.

Ol' Chum. It means, "old friend."

Yeah, well, chum also means something else.

- Shark bait! - (dramatic sting)

Wait, chum means "shark bait"?

Why, yes! Sharks love bait!

It's a term of endearment.

- Aw! - (gasps)

- (glass shatters) - (shark roars)

It looks like we're both about to be shark bait!

- Not for long. - (zaps)

- (clanking) - (Chum sighs)

Apex predators are a whole lot cuter

when you can put them in your pocket.

- (The Go Fish Gang laughing) - They're getting away, sir!

**

Brainbot 227, launch Porta-Prison!

- Huh? - Hey! What's going on here?

That oughta hold you until we can transfer you

to your fishbowls.

- In jail... Huh? - (glitching)

- (Go Fish Gang laughing) - Whoopsie.

- Chum, this is beyond embarrassing! - (fizzling)

Sorry, sir.

Hey, Megamind! Your gadgets are like the Titanic,

a total disaster!

- (Go Fish Gang laugh) - Megamind: How dare you!

The Titanic was a delight for most of the journey.

After them!

- (brakes hiss) - (Megamind gasps)

They're in a fish tank!

You were great villains,

but as heroes, you guys are all wet!

Let's finish them off!

Chum, cube me.

- Huh? - What the?

Bullseye!

- (dramatic music playing) - Ha!

Alley-oop. (grunts)

Whoa!

Water in the hole!

Huh?

Chum: Sir, those bystanders are about to get squished!

It does not look good for them.

Oh, right! I'm a hero now.

May I suggest the portal bazooka?

- You read my mind, Chum. - (zaps)

- (grunts) - (whirring)

Kids: Yay!

- (whirring, zaps) - (grunts)

- (Go Fish Gang screaming) - (smashing)

- (screaming) - Ah, shark!

Crime. It's a hard halibut to break.

Chum, make a note. No more puns.

- They're beneath us. - (laughing)

Halibut! Like the fish!

Brilliant, sir! Just brilliant!

**

And tell all your evil friends

Metrocity has a new defender,

- and his name is Megamind! - (car engine starts)

Aren't you forgetting another defender, sir?

Don't think so.

You didn't, by chance, forget about someone who,

I don't know, say, gallantly fought by your side?

Ah, of course! How could I have possibly forgotten?

- Chum, my friend? - Yes, sir?

- (whistling) - (whirring)

- Fix Brainbot 227. - (buzzing)

That short-out was a little embarrassing.

Remember, I have a super heroic image to maintain.

- (sorrowful music playing) - (beeping)

Crime continues to plunge since Megamind saved Metro city

from the clutches of evil. But now, villains,

many who flew below Metro Man's radar,

are coming out of the woodwork.

So far, our new blue hero seems up to the task.

And while many changes are afoot in Metro City,

the one constant is me, Roxanne Ritchi,

reporting on the accomplishments of others.

- Huh. Honestly, how did that sound? - (camera beeps)

Child: Like you just realized you've lost all interest in your job,

and you're going through the motions.

Other than that, slam dunk!

- And you are? - Keiko Morita,

president of Megamind's number-one streaming online

fan club MegaWatch,

covering all things blue and super-heroic in Metro City.

- Um... okay. - Have time for a few questions?

What is happening right now?

Roxanne Ritchi, you just helped Megamind

save the city from Titan.

So what's your awesome next step?

Next step? A-And are you recording this?

Don't worry, it's great!

Obviously, you're too cool to be just on television.

You're a shark. You have to keep moving, girl!

- You gotta have a side hustle! - You're not wrong.

I don't know. Reporting is important,

but Megamind has been a hero for only a few days,

and he's already making a big difference in this city.

Can't help thinking maybe there's a way

I can be doing more, too.

Wait, why am I telling you this? How old are you again?

- You first. - Touché.

What you need to do is find the thing you wanna do

and go for it. Look at me!

A few weeks ago, I was a middle schooler

sitting in detention. Now,

I'm streaming a show with a half-million subscribers.

Did you say half million?

That's like 10 times my audience,

- not counting family and pets. - Keiko Morita: Gotta go.

Wanna get a better shot of the ceremony before it starts.

- Good talk though. - Yeah! Good talk. (laughs)