Operation Buffalo

(ON RECORD) # I-I-I-I-I

# I-I-I-I-I

# I'm counting on you

# Ever since we met, darling, I've been keeping score

# Every day, I count your charms

# Every day, I love you more

# It's plain to see why you're the lover that I've waited for

# I'm counting the different ways you melt me

# Your smile, your voice, your touch

# I'm counting the little things... #

What are you doing?

# That move me oh, so much

# I'm counting your kisses and caresses... #

What are you doing?

# And 'cause I thrill as I do

# Oh, I-I-I-I-I, I-I-I-I-I... #

Oh, that's what you're doing.

Time to rise, sleepyhead.

What time is it? # Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh... #

Shit.

You've got to get ready. Your plane leaves in half an hour.

I want breakfast. There's no time.

Leo! You said we'd have breakfast.

I can't do that trip without having breakfast first.

You know what I'm like when I get hungry.

Why didn't you have dinner? I begged you to have dinner.

I told you, I wasn't hungry then.

This is bloody inconvenient, Dick.

I know.

I have 12,000 things to do in Canberra.

Bloody Rupert!

Actually, where is Rupert?

He's the reason for the sodding change. Why isn't he here?

He's commandeered a plane and flying in, apparently.

Flying in?!

Why aren't we flying in?

Why didn't the PM let us charter a plane?

Rupert is Her Majesty's High Commissioner.

We're cabinet ministers!

Mere cabinet ministers, I think the PM would have it.

As far as he's concerned, we are nothing more

than obstacles on the road to his grand vision.

Which road?

Can't you tell? We're on it!

OK, I'll get you something. Will a banana do?

Just get dressed, please.

A banana will certainly not do!

I cannot do that journey on an empty stomach.

I want burek.

Burek? Mm-hm.

What the hell is burek?

It's a traditional Yugoslavian breakfast.

It's a kind of pastry... Oh! Right. Burek.

..that's hard on the outside and soft in the middle.

I think cook keeps the burek between the partridge in a pear tree

and the crocodile in hummingbird sauce.

Your plane leaves in 25 minutes. I will get you a banana.

Oh! Leo, that trip is hours! A banana won't do.

Give that here.

What are you gonna do? Ooh! Yuck.

Thank you.

Ugh. Now I have to wash my hands.

Late night?

Indeed it was.

How old this time? (SIGHS)

One of them was in their early 20s, I think.

One of them?! Good God, man! How do you do it?

Well, I honestly have no idea, Dick.

Bon appetit.

Leo?

Yeah?

Carmen's gone.

Who's gone? Carmen. She...she's gone.

What do you mean, gone?

Well, I woke up this morning and she wasn't in my tent.

That kind of gone.

'I can't find her' gone. Gone gone!

Shit. Yeah, well, I thought maybe

she might be in the latrine and she hasn't returned.

And I can tell you, I've had a bloody good look around.

Ohh! Jesus.

Hey. Back inside, you.

It's Carmen. Leo, I... No. No, you stay here.

You cannot be seen. Do you understand?

Or a world of pain will consume us all.

Molly, do you understand? Yes.

How much did she drink?

About two-thirds of a bottle of vodka.

Jesus! Can you keep it down in there, Murph?

The whole fuckin' camp can hear you.

Dammit! Shit, Leo!

You've put me off!

What, is it time? You two seen Carmen?

What?! Leo!

Sorry, Yvonne.

What do you think?!

Well, I woke up and she was gone, so...

I have to make sure Bernie doesn't piss off.

One of you, check with Jonesy and see if he or Lydia saw...

Actually...

..everyone's to go to my quarters

and stay put until I get back.

God, this is disgusting.

Where are all the girls? Mate, Carmen's gone AWOL.

We...we just need a little time, OK?

Mate, I'm leaving at eight. I told you.

Come on, Bern.

Leo, I'm picking up the British High Commissioner.

I can't be late. He's coming here today?!

But...n-nobody's told me.

He wasn't due till... till Tuesday. Why?

I'm leaving at eight.

Hey...I've...

..I've looked after you, Bernie, haven't I?

Now, I would appreciate a little dispensation.

I have to be in Adelaide,

fuelled up and ready in a Bristol by noon.

It's not like I've got a choice here, mate.

Uh, I can't.

Eugh!

I've been looking everywhere for you, Carmichael!

Where the hell have you been?! There's been a change of plans.

The High Commissioner has to leave for London Saturday,

so we have to pull forward.

We're going at dawn.

I'm sorry? We're going at dawn.

Tomorrow. That's impossible.

You want to have the tower locked and loaded,

ready to go by dawn?

It's a Meccano set, Carmichael.

So, can you please get out your tiny spanners and do your job?

We've done ours.

What was that, Quentin?

Just so you know, Leo, we're expecting a strong nor'-westerly

to develop overnight.

Which means...

Nothing, surely. Nothing much.

It's just rare to have a strong nor'-westerly

at this time of year.

None of the other tests so far have been conducted

under such conditions.

There'd be no comparable controls.

So one has to question the utility

of the data we'll gather.

You're saying it'll be a waste of time?

No, but... Carmichael, they arrive today!

We're going tomorrow at dawn!

So if you'd be so kind, finish the fucking tower tonight.

Thank you so much!

It's never easy. Never fucking easy!

Girls inside?

Yeah, they've got the shits, but.

Bye-bye, Bernie.

OK. The new plan is...

The new plan is we keep the girls under wraps.

Bern will be back in about six hours.

You two will have found Carmen by then. We'll be sweet.

Yeah, what if we haven't found Carmen by then?

Well, we pack these three off with Bern and we keep looking.

Yeah, well, that might be a little tricky.

Why?

Better speak to the girls, Leo.

OK. Bernie had to head to Adelaide.

He'll be back in about six hours.

I'll compensate you for the time.

OK, fine. Just so long as you know we're not leaving without Carmen.

Look, girls, here's the thing.

There are some very important people arriving here today.

Didn't you know that?

No, I didn't, Von.

There's been a change of plan. So, it's really very simple.

Yes, it is. We're not leaving without Carmen.

We will find Carmen, I promise.

Just stay put.

I've got to check in on Cranky

and get things moving on the tower.

What's the rush? We've got four days. We're well ahead.

Not anymore. We're going at dawn tomorrow.

Well, that's impossible. I'm aware.

Hilly!

The Academy Award-winning actress Grace Kelly,

star of movies such as Rear Window and High Society,

has become Princess Grace of Monaco

after marrying Prince Rainier.

Oh. Dammit!

# And did those feet in ancient time... #

Identify yourself! It's Leo, General.

Come, Leo!

Morning, sir. Morning, Leo.

Everything tickety-boo? Er, not quite, sir.

Oh, dear. I don't like the sound of that.

Am I needed?

No, sir, but you should know

they've brought the test forward to tomorrow.

The test? Yes, sir.

The next test will be tomorrow at dawn.

The next test, sir? Operation Buffalo?

Oh, of course. Yes. The test.

Tomorrow, you say? Mmm.

Right. The test. Well, get on with it, then.