What If...?

Congratulations.

Oh, my God! Darce, I'm kvelling.

I am positively kvelling right now.

- It looks just like me. - Hey! Look over here.

-Let me just get your eyes. -No.

-I wanna get the light on your eyes. -Nine hours of labor.

-It's so cinematic. -I'm covered in sweat.

- This is not a good look. - Oh.

-Would you like me to hold the camera? -Oh, that's perfect.

Make sure you frame all three of us, please?

Howard, it's our baby.

Or it will be, right?

When do you think this thing is gonna hatch?

I don't know. It's gonna hatch in... you know, uh...

whatever the normal...

In an instant, Howard and Darcy The Duck's whole world changed.

Little did they know

their child was destined to change everyone else's too.

Time.

Space.

Reality.

It's more than a linear path.

It's a prism of endless possibility,

where a single choice can branch out into infinite realities,

creating alternate worlds from the ones you know.

I am the Watcher.

I am your guide through these vast new realities.

Follow me and ponder the question...

"What if?"

And to think a romance that could change the world,

all began at a party.

An intergalactic blowout thrown by the party prince of Asgard himself...

Huzzah!

...that introduced Earth to the stars...

...and Howard The Duck to Darcy Lewis.

Well, it's happy hour. Want some half-priced nachos?

Okay, fine, Duck. But this is not a date.

She was right.

It was so much more.

I now pronounce you Darcy, and uh, Duck.

But Howard and Darcy's lives weren't the only ones changed

by Thor's Midgard rager.

The party may have ended but the guests never left,

as the worlds of Earth and the Cosmos became forever intertwined,

just like Howard and Darcy.

Hey, enough! The '80s called, they want their song back.

That's so funny.

Or it would be, except for the fact that KISS wrote that song in '79! A-duh!

Sorry, Mrs. Switzler, we're just trying to put the baby to sleep.

With what? Torture?

Hey, we worked really hard on those two-part harmonies!

Okay. And I'm sure the baby loves them.

Look, look, look. See...

fast asleep.

I don't appreciate how dismissive she is.

Okay, it doesn't matter.

Will you look at us... nesting?

Well, we are the The Ducks.

I guess that tracks.

Huh?

You've been served...

-What? -What? No.

Those charges were dropped.

With two tickets.

All expenses paid to the Grandmaster's Grand Cruise Across the Stars.

-Hello. -Wait! For us?

-Targeted advertising. -Oh.

It'll be an experience you'll never forget.

Ahoy there, Sailors of the Stars.

Time to check your worries at the gate, and toss those inhibitions overboard

because when you're riding on the SS Grand Master,

adventure has no boundaries.

Howard, have you seen this itinerary?

Couples cliff diving on Vormir...

Oh, yeah, they say you can only truly appreciate it with someone you love.

Oh, a lava boat ride through the canals of Muspelheim.

Wait, you don't think that could, like, hard-boil our baby or anything, right?

Darce, you heard the lady. This is a family cruise line.

-They know what they're doing. -Of course.

Now come on, I wanna hit that buffet before everyone breathes on it.

Howard, oh, my God! Hold on to the baby.

- The baby, get it. - All right, I got it.

Whoa! Oh-ho!

-We're floating! -I see we're lightening up already.

I got eyes on the package.

Inform the buyer we'll intercept it off-world.

-Oh, boy! -This is very nice.

This is just too much. Look at us.

-I know. Look at us. -Lei for your neck.

Welcome cocktail to lower inhibitions.

Darcy, check out these leis. They're not even plastic.

That is a classy touch.

Ooh, and this welcome drink. It tastes like a warm hug,

and vodka, mostly vodka.

-Here. Have another. -Have another.

Okay. That's not--

Please, I insist.

On the SS Grand Master, it's not a bad decision

-if you don't remember it. -Oh, my God! Howard! It's the guy.

-I gotta fight this guy? -No, no, no.

-DJ Foam. -DJ Foam!

-Yeah. -The Grandmaster.

Bowing is optional. I'm not that big of a deal.

- I take that back. I am a big deal. - Hey!

Really, we cannot thank you enough for these tickets.

Ah, for you crazy kids? Nothing I love more than a wholesome--

- Oh! Oh! - Uh...

This must be the adorable little reason we're all here today.

Now, look at this.

Now, what you have here is the Galaxy's finest selection

of sitters, swaddlers, sleep trainers, nannies, au pairs, governesses, plus...

Topaz here is actually an excellent wet nurse.

That part's extra.

All at your disposal.

So you two can enjoy some much-deserved mommy and daddy time.

Uh...

I mean, he doesn't not have a point.

Mmm.

Wow!

First-time parents?

Mm-hmm. Yep. Our first one.

Yeah, I can tell.

The Grandmaster's Grand Welcome Brunch will begin shortly.

The "Grand" part wasn't false advertising, I'll give him that. This is quite grand.

Now, of course, our guests of honor have a special seat reserved for them

at the head of the table.

Oh!

-Well, that's nice. -Very fancy.

-The chair is well-padded. -Ahem, ahem!

Diners and dinettes, gather in, settle down.

Hmm.

And, uh, most importantly, raise a glass.

Hope you all came hungry, because once you get a taste...

Quite the hoopla just for breakfast, huh?

Hey! Hey, Howard, Howard, I can't make heads or tails of this menu.

-You speak, uh, hoity-toity? -I do not.

But my phone does.

Yeah, let's see what we got.

Here we go. "The Grandmaster invites you

"to feast on Howard and Darcy The Duck."

Wait! What?

Wait, wait, wait. It's "feast your eyes."

"Feast your eyes." Okay, I guess that's nice.

Ah...

Uh, today's special

is an entrée, uh-huh, like no other.

Born of two worlds...

Born of two worlds?

...a true cosmic wonder.

- Uh, Howard... - Wait, it says,

"To feast your eyes on Howard and Darcy The Duck's

-"homemade..." -Howard!

Oh, no, is this supposed to be a potluck?

Howard!

-Look at the baby! -Yep. Hold on.

Darce, they wanna eat the baby!

No, duh, Howard, we've got a Hannibal Lecter situation!

Oh, let the brunch begi--

What? Oh, my gosh! Captain Mohawk saved our baby!

Sorry to spoil y'all's breakfast, folks.

But I was hopin' to grab a little somethin' to go. Ta-ta!

Oh, my gosh! Captain Mohawk stole our baby!

No, no, no! Hey, Space Pirates!

What're you waiting for? Come on, Duck!

Coast clear, let's get to the life rafts!

All right, here we go!

Howard, are you sure you can fly this?

Are you kidding? I'm a duck. I was born to fly. Strap in.

Oh, move over!

Faster, baby! Faster! We almost got him!

Aah, come on, get it together, Darcy.

This is just like Galaga.

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

-What? -Aah!

-It just-- It just disappear-- -But they were right...

I don't know what we were thinking. Nothing good ever happens on a cruise!

I'm sorry.

This was a mistake.

Our baby is... gone.

We had one job.

And we failed.

What? What are you doing?

Calling the fuzz! Clearly, we can't do this on our own!

Um, it's about the Convergence case, sir.

This couple could be the lead we've been waiting for.

And what did you say their name was?

-That would be the The Ducks, sir. -Huh?

What the hell is going on, Director?

First the Grandmaster, now the Ravagers?

Why are all these people after our baby?

I assure you, Mr. and Mrs... The Duck,

recovering your egg has become S.H.I.E.L.D.'s priority number one.

Oh, yeah? You and everyone else in the galaxy, apparently.

What the hell is so special about our kid, anyway?

- Howard! - Ow!

I mean, besides the fact that they're our kid.

What do you know about the Cosmic Convergence?

Wait. The Convergence?

-Wasn't that on my due date? -Exactly.

And many believe the planetary alignment was a sign.