Jinki:Extend (Jinki: Extend)

Okay. Plug her in.

Oh, yay!

All right. Wonderful.Yeah. Yeah!

Your old gazebo's looking pretty good, huh, Hetty?

Indeed! Now, get some swans in the lake,

Yeah. and a couple of giraffes at a dinner party...

It'll be the Gilded Age all over again.

They love it, Jay.

Woo-hoo! Two days of sanding,

three coats of paint, but the smiles

you claim to see on your invisible friends' faces

make it all worthwhile.

Hey, should we hang some Halloween decorations on it? Yes.

Oh, my God, wait. Halloween? Ghosts!

This is your holiday. You guys must love Halloween.

Who's gonna tell her?

We hate Halloween.

What'd they say?

They don't like it.

Okay, that feels off brand.

All Hallows Eve mocks us

and belittles our very existence.

People putting sheets over their heads

and pretending to be "ghosts"?

I mean, what is that?

Plus, we can't do any of the fun stuff that Livings do.

We can't dress up in costumes, we can't eat candy...

Can't hook up with a sexy nurse.

Or a sexy kitten. Or sexy Bobby Boucher

from Waterboy.

I didn't think it was possible, either,

but this chick pulled it off.

Also, I died on Halloween.

At a party at the mansion in 1995.

This is a costume.

I'm actually an accountant and my name is Mike.

Seriously?

No, I'm 500 years old.

Come on, Sam.

Oh, that was a good one.

Huh. Storyteller. It's a gift.

Okay, I get that you guys don't like Halloween.

But all the kids dressed up... It's so cute.

Don't get us started on "kids."

Every year on Halloween,

my beloved Woodstone Mansion is defiled

by adolescent hooligans.

They throw eggs,

put toilet paper in the trees...

Been going on for decades.

It's sort of a local tradition,

passed down from delinquent father to delinquent son.

It's humiliating.

This is our home.

This is where we live.

And we're powerless to stop it.

What's going on? The ghosts say there's a group of kids

that vandalize the house each Halloween.

Oh, no, no, no. Not on my watch, babe.

Guys, don't worry.

Of course... we have them.

We don't have to depend on

some useless old lady to defend the house.

My great-great-granddaughter, may she rest in peace.

That's right. This year we have Samantha

and her virile young husband.

They can do battle against the wayward youths for us.

Jump out of tree, and bash their heads!

Oh, my God, no.

Nobody's doing battle with anybody.

Jay and I will talk to the kids.

They're probably just messing with the house

'cause a creepy old lady lived there.

She was really creepy. That's true.

Again, my descendant.

Who just passed.

We all were there. Mm.

Ooh, pre-Halloween pics

are coming in on the 'Gram.

Yeah, there's gonna be a lot of Carole Baskins

hooking up with Baby Yodas this year.

I know it's English, and yet I gleaned nothing.

Aw, man. Some of our friends are at a rooftop in Brooklyn.

Aw, somebody's got FOMO.

What is FOMO?

Oh, it's "fear of missing out."

Like if you're not invited to a party or something.

Like when Mamie Fish excluded me from her cotillion

because she knew I had the more comely ankles.

Okay, I know we're not in the city anymore.

But think of the positives:

This is our first Halloween as homeowners.

We're getting trick-or-treaters.

And we're still the Step Brothers.

Yeah, I guess it's cool.

Who are the Step Brothers? It's from a movie.

We dress like this every year,

because it's cheap, it's comfortable,

and it doesn't sexually objectify me.

But that's the whole point of Halloween.

Our first trick-or-treaters.

Are you ready?

It's go time.

Trick or treat.

Aw.

He's a little Ghostbuster.

A little what? What is ghostbuster?

Not now.

Oh, sorry, are we too early?

No, no, I was just trying to remember

when the Ghostbustersmovie came out

and it was not now, so it must have been before.

: Nailed it, sweetie.

Uh, Ghostbuster, would you like some candy?

Are you seriously not going to tell us what a ghostbuster is?

It's another movie. Classic Bill Murray.

He plays a scientist

who's trying to sleep with Sigourney Weaver

and bust ghosts.

Bust ghosts?

You want to bust me?

I bust you!

Okay, thanks for stopping by, enjoy your Mounds.

Uh, Happy Halloween!

Ghost thing? Ghost thing.

Cool.

Ooh! We should watch Ghostbusterstonight.

You guys will love it, trust me.

Is there a Blockbuster around here?

We don't have time for frivolous entertainment.

We must set up sentries.

An attack is nigh.

Okay, take it easy.

We should do shifts or something.

Some of you stand around, keeping lookout,

while I watch a talkie with Trev.

Oh, you know what? I'll join you.

What? No! You guys are the worst army ever.

I never saw it.

It came out the year before I died,

but you know how it is... between work and family

and getting shot in the neck with an arrow...

Fine, fine.

But the rest of us will keep watch

and alert the Livings

Then bash them on the heads!

Any chance you change your mind on that?

No?

Okay.

The enemies have arrived.

Jay, Isaac says the enemies have arrived.

Enemies?

You mean these kids out here on the bikes?

Come on!

It's the parents who are at fault.

Properly raised children would be at home

or working in a factory.

That's the evil leader Zack, his paramour Zoey,

and their very dumb third wheel Robbie.

Dude.

How do you know so much about these kids?

Last year, they hung out

and split something called a "hard lemonade."

And we listened in on their conversation.

What's up, bro-hams?

Hey, you got some sick cykes, huh?

Thank you, sir.

I'm sorry, what? Sir?

Ouch.

Well, we just wanted to introduce ourselves.

I'm Samantha, this is Jay.

And we're the owners of this house.

So, listen, like, whatever happened in the past,

it's water under the bridge.

But let's just agree that it ends here.

Yeah, you know, we were actually planning on egging the place,

but after seeing you guys, and seeing how cool you are,

it just doesn't feel right anymore.

Hmm. This feels like a trap.

Well, thank you. ZACK: Anyway,

we'll be on our way.

Well, next time, pop on your helmets.

Cool kids wear lids.

They do! Keep it a hundo.

They seem really nice.

Very. See, Isaac? No need for war.

Attack!

Egg war! Get 'em!

Hey! What? Whoa! What... No!

That's not fair! How do you like that, bro-ham?

I hate to say "I told you so."

Wait, no, it's actually quite satisfying.

This is just great.

Our friends are partying on rooftops,

and we're being egged by the cast of Stranger Things.

We have to do something.

Those kids can't get away with that.

Do something? It's over.

We've just got to get cleaned up and move on.

Wait, no. Samantha is right.