The L Word - Sixth Season

"Oompa Loompa"

Are you sure this is appropriate?

Don't children get killed? No, they got punished, Bette.

And it was Max's favourite story.

Where are the Willy Wonka bars that you promised?

I wouldn't have made 'em if you'd told me that it was her idea.

What do you want me to do about it?

What I want you to do?

I want you to dump her.

It's not that easy, Alice.

Excuse me?

How do you know Max?

Oh, I haven't met him yet.

I invited her. I hope you don't have a problem with that.

Max won't care. She's helping me with my enduring test on Monday.

The ice cream cone needs to go exactly in the corner.

I want to get back in the bed.

I tell you what. We go in,

we have a quick drink,

we say, "Hey, baby shower". Hi the baby shower.

And then we leave.

Okay, you promise?

Welcome.

Wow! Oh my gosh...

Yes, I've done such a good job. That's quite magical.

You did. You did a great job. Big parties are all the rage.

That's lovely. Thank you.

You guys look really happy together.

Thank you. I'm very happy for you both.

So am I. Me too.

I'm really, really, really happy for you both.

I'm gonna get you a drink. I wanna give you

a big hug, Missy. Come here. You...

You passed the test with flying colors.

I'm so happy for you.

We were watching you when we saw

how at Hit you rebuffed Nikki Stevens

even though she could have helped your career,

and it was just so incredible.

It was very, very impressive. What do you...

What do you mean you saw... what does she mean she saw?

Saw what? That I passed the test.

When we were watching her with Nikki Stevens

on the big monitors at Hit.

Everone was watching me when I

had my meeting with Nikki Stevens?

No, I mean... well, that's not exactly how it happened.

It was... No, there is,

there is no need to lie.

I will fix this.

When one begins a relationship,

you must start with a clean slate

and be completely honest.

Which is what we're doing now.

You'd just better... Nikki Stevens

was a test? No, no, that...

Dylan, that's not exactly what happened.

Do you know what? It wasn't really,

it wasn't even my idea.

I'm gonna fucking kill you, girlfriend!

Surprise!

Happy baby shower day. Baby shower day!

Okay, here is your golden ticket.

And here is your hat.

And here is a balloon.

Would you like some milk and cookies?

I'm Jamie.

It's nice to meet you, Max.

Hi, I heard so much about you.

She's the only non-friend here.

She's just so inappropriate.

She's gone!

Sorry. Oh my God!

I don't know what to do.

Helena, I'm so sorry. I truely am.

Call her. Try to call her.

Call her? Okay, I'm calling. Okay? Try to call her.

Hi, how are you doing? I tell you, welcome co-worker with Alice.

I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to talk to you.

Oh, no, we had a great time.

I cannot believe Jenny said that.

What can't you believe?

Whe should just grap Shane and make a run for it.

Maybe she didn't mean for it to be so malicious.

Oh, yeah, no, no, no, Jenny's not malicious.

No, not at all. Just

completely and totally evil.

Okay, fine, she's malicious.

Oh no, I was sure that I had it right.

But I think that... Look, mine is just as short. So

I already lose. Ours is shorter too.

Yeah, ours is shorter.

Yeah, yes, it is.

Okay, you're next.

I'm sorry, Max.

Come on.

Alright.

Yeah! Everyone, Shane is the winner.

I wonder what she won.

So,

I think it's time for another game.

Do any of you guys have any suggestions?

Chocolate in a diaper! Oh my godness, you're right!

That's exactly what the other game was!

You have to guess

what kind of chocolate the shit is.

It's so disgusting!

It's gross! I want... What is this?

Is this we need the chocolate bars that you made?

Again with this. Fast and out.

Why are you putting your nose so close to it?

It's a Skor bar! You're right, Tina.

You know your shit, so to speak.

Thank you. Good job, babe.

Good. She always wins this, at every shower...

Thank you. Would you like it,

Miss Crankypants? Fuck off, Jenny!

Hey, do you know what you're having? No, not yet.

You didn't see anything? You didn't wanna...?

You don't wanna know?

I guess if Tom were here, it'd maybe be easier.

Well fuck, Tom! I'd be more ready for this.

Yeah, you know what, Max? I'm sorry, but, what an asshole.

Yeah, such an asshole. He's not an asshole. He's just

scared. Have you spoken to him?

He changed both his numbers.

Oh, that's horrible. What an asshole!

Seriously.

It's so wrong. And you know what, Max?

Don't be scared, really. I mean,

don't. I mean, when the baby is born

and you hold that baby in your arms,

you're gonna know exactly what to do,

I promise you.

It's finally cool to hang out with you.

Alice talks about you a lot. Really?

It's nice to hear.

She keeps get over me these days.

Oh yeah, well, she's a little mad at your girlfriend,

so I guess she probably hates you too.

You're being serious?

No, I'm just kidding.

She thinks of you as a really good friend. She, like,

she admires you and...

That's sweet. I'm glad to hear that.

I mean, it's nice to hear this, I even, it's uh...

Thank you. That's actually really sweet compliment.

Do you want more? That's really good.

I know. I hadn't smoke that in a long time.

Do you want more?

Maybe one more hit. Sorry.

I just, uh, I just wanted to tell you that

it's your turn for the game. So...

and also, that, I don't mean to be like

a narc, but the...

the pot is just drifting and Max is getting...

Okay. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go play the game.

Why did you do that?

Do what?

What "do what"? I was talking to her!

Oh, come on, you were flirting with her.

Maybe, I was.

Yeah, so what if you were, I don't care.

Really?

I swear like you were giving me a weird look over there though.

'Cause I was just coming to tell you

that it was your turn.

I'm not kidding!

Guess what? What?

I got you a present.

I made something for you.

What is it?

I can't tell you. When am I gonna find out?

Let's play the game.

Why are you... what's wrong?

Oh they're everywhere these days.

'Cause I love you.

I love you too.

And that person would be? It would, well...

It's present-cake time, mom-dad.

Self sufficient, I guess.

Hey be careful tonight, please. And don't destroy anything.

Oh, look at the cake.

Look at that cake. It's cake time!

Oh, Kit, I'm so sorry. Oh, no, it's okay.

Happy baby, Max!

Wow, it's really big. Do you wanna cut the cake?

I'm not so good at it. Maybe, you wanna...

I can cut it. Would you mind?

Here's Kit's present. Yeah, open the present.

Thanks. Yeah, it's right.

Did you take... do you have it?

It's right here.

Don't worry.

You have to hold it up, Max, so we can all see what it is.

It's a little baby tee-shirt.

Those are actually called onesies.

Oh my god, it's like Jenny!

Thanks.

Oh look, there's a little punk rock baby.