Too Late for Tears

You're awfully quiet tonight, janey.

I've been trying to think of just the right way to ask you

to turn around and go back.

On this road? Can't do it, sweetie.

I mean it, Alan. I'd like you to turn around, please.

What's the matter, Jane?

I... I tried to tell you before we left home.

I... I just don't like being patronized, that's all.

I... I don't think I can take another evening of it.

Patronized? Oh, sweetheart, Ralph is one of the nicest guys I...

You know it isn't Ralph.

It's his diamond-studded wife, looking down her nose at me like...

Like her big ugly house up there looks down on Hollywood.

Please. I'm just not going. Slow down and find a place to turn.

Oh, Jane, you're crazy. Alice likes you.

Please, Alan. I mean it. I'm just not going.

What are you trying to do? Send us off the edge?

All right. We'll turn around.

We told 'em we'd be there, but we'll turn around.

That guy almost hit us!

Alan, he threw something. It's in the back.

Feels like there's paper in it.

- Paper? - Yeah, feels like it.

Open it.

- They threw it in? - Yes.

- Maybe it fell in. - Alan, open it.

Quick, Alan, get in. Alan, get in!

He's after us, Jane. The bag was intended for him.

Jane, what are you trying to do?

We've lost him. Slow down. I'll take the wheel.

Well, you almost killed us doing it, but we got away from him.

- Now what happens? - It hasn't hit you yet, Alan?

The money was literally thrown in our laps.

No one in the world knows we have it.

Get a hold of yourself, Jane, will you? It's a bag of dynamite.

That was a payoff.

Probably blackmail. We turn that bag over to the police so they...

Don't stop, Alan. He's almost a block behind.

- What are you two so scared about? - Who's scared?

You are. Didn't you ever get a ticket before?

Ha-ha! It's supposed to be a big secret, officer.

But we're on our way to Las Vegas.

We're the old-fashioned kind. We're eloping.

You're still gonna get a ticket.

The next time you make a turn, signal. You think you can remember that?

I... I'm afraid my mind wasn't on my driving.

You're nervous, Mac. It's the bride that's supposed to be jittery.

- Get going. - All right.

What's the matter with you, Jane?

What were you planning on doing with that?

I don't know.

You had a chance to give up the money. Why didn't you take it?

I was just asking myself that same question.

We'll take it up to the apartment.

I want to look at it.

I don't see him, Alan.

What about Kathy? I wonder if she came home yet.

I think she went to a show. Hurry.

Just call me Dracula.

- I'm afraid you did startle us a little. - Did my sister come in yet, Pete?

Uh... no, I don't think so.

Hey, uh... you folks been away?

Oh, no. Just some things Mr. Palmer had in storage.

- Did you lock the door? - Yes.

Well, that wasn't very smart.

Be a great time for Kathy or someone to come in now, wouldn't it?

You said you wanted to look at it, Alan. Look at it.

Fifties and twenties. There must be thousands here.

Yeah, probably 100,000.

It's old money. The numbers are different.

You could make it work for us for the rest of our lives.

Stop it, janey. If we don't report this, it's a felony, the same as stealing it.

It's a blind alley with a big barred gate at the end.

Let's not try to use it, darling.

Let's just hide it some place, and then not touch it until we know it's safe.

It'll never be safe. It just won't work.

What is it, Jane? I just don't understand you.

I've tried to give you everything you wanted, everything I could.

Yes, you've given me a dozen down payments and instalments

for the rest of our lives.

We won't touch it, Alan.

- We'll simply leave it where we... - (Knock at door)

Hide it.

Hide it, quick.

- Hi. - Hello, Kathy.

Pete said you were asking about me.

Oh, yes. Alan was wondering if you were home.

Well, I am. And since you're twisting my arm, I'll come in.

- Where's my dear brother? - Oh, he'll be out in a moment.

How are things at the office?

Well, they gave my boss a promotion the other day.

Maybe they'll get around to giving me a raise later.

You sound as if you're going to make a life's work out of it.

You sound as if you haven't heard of the man shortage.

On second thought, maybe you haven't.

- Greetings, Kathy. - Hi. How are you?

Now don't say fine, 'cause you look awful.

That's why I love to come here. Everyone is so gay, so buoyant.

I did get the impression from Pete that you wanted to see me about something.

Oh, er... we were thinking of running up to rimoli's for a snack,

but we changed our minds.

Alan doesn't feel well.

- Well, what is it, Alan? - Oh, nothing.

It's just a headache.

Well, I hope you both feel better in the morning. Good night.

- Good night, Jane. - Good night, Kathy.

That did it.

I ought to have my head examined. I was almost sold for a minute.

But we've got as much right to that money

as if we went into a bank and lifted a bagful off the counter.

My little sister drops in, and pays us a visit, and scares us to death.

Of course we were frightened, because the money's right here.

But once it's hidden and out of our hands, there's nothing to be afraid of.

- Nobody knows we have it. - Nobody knows?

How about that banshee that chased us down the mountainside?

If he can read, he's got our license number.

He wasn't close enough to see our license.

Listen to me, Alan.

I love you, darling,

and if you decide we should never touch the money, we won't.

But do we have to make up our minds now?

Can't we just hide it some place where it can't be traced to us

and give ourselves time to think it out?

Please help me hide it.

I'll leave the rest to you.

If you don't think we should ever touch it, we won't.

You mean that, Jane? There'll be no more talk about it? No bitterness?

I mean it, Alan.

We'll keep it a week.

'Last call for the Santa fe-San bernadino local.

'Train number 42 leaves at 10:10, entering through gate m.

'This is the last call.

'The union pacific city of Los Angeles train 103 is now arriving.'

It's done. Everything's all right now, isn't it, darling?

Yeah, I... I guess so.

Where's the ticket?

It's all right. It's here down in the lining.

There's a hole in the pocket. It's safe there.

What did you say to the man at the counter?

I didn't say anything to the man at the counter.

But you did. I saw you.

Oh. Oh, yes.

I told him I was going to the hospital

and wouldn't be picking up the bag for a while.

He said it was all right.

Fuller. Detective bureau.

Yes?

Does an Alan Palmer live here?

Yes, my husband's at work.

Well, this is just a routine check, Mrs. Palmer.

We have a license number, but we're not absolutely sure of the accuracy of it.

May I come in?

- Mind if I look around a bit? - Why?

You haven't anything to hide, have you?

No, I can see you haven't.

What's this all about, Mr. Fuller?

I told you, a routine check. Like to look your place over.

Looking for what?

I didn't bring a warrant with me, Mrs. Palmer.

Maybe I should go get one.

If I let you look around without one,

will you promise to tell me what it's all about?

Perhaps it'll give me something interesting to talk about

at bridge tonight.

Sure, Mrs. Palmer.

Thanks.

Leave them alone. Those are presents.

So, you've already started spending it, huh?

- Spending it? - Yes, honey, spending it.

I don't think I like that.

I'm sorry, but you're not making sense.

If you were an innocent housewife with nothing to hide but the iceman,

you'd never let me in here.

You'd be screaming for that warrant and sending wires to your congressman,

so let's cut the small talk.

- Where's my dough? - Then you're not a policeman?

Only on my mother's side, honey. Where's the dough?

Those things in the kitchen happen to belong to my sister-in-law.

And I let you in because...

Well, housewives can get awfully bored sometimes.

But believe me, I've no idea what you're talking about.

You're too smooth, honey. You're much too smooth.

Where's the dough?

- Where's that money? - We sent it to the police.

You're a liar. You would have told me that before now.

- I was afraid to. - You should be. It was mine.

Why would anyone give up that much hard cash? I don't get it.

- In fact, I don't believe it. - It's the truth. I swear it is.

And I'm supposed to get up now and walk out? Is that it?

Well, maybe I will.

But if you turned that money over to the cops, it'll be in the paper.

If you didn't...

It will be. We sent it back last evening.

All right, I can wait a few more hours

and I doubt that you or your husband will try a copper.

I'm going to buy an evening paper,

and there'd better be something in it about money or I'll be around again.

And I'm afraid I'll be awfully peeved at you, honey.

Bye now.

Alan, you're... you're home early.