The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - Fifth Season

All right, stop! Stop!

My petal got caught in the fence again.

Do we have to lay down like that?

- Yes. - Can we just crouch?

You haven't bloomed yet. If you crouch, you've bloomed.

- There's not enough room. - Well, it's all the room we have,

so there's plenty of room. Back to one!

Are we ever gonna get through this?

Frank. Nicky.

- Wow. You got here fast. - The message said come quick.

Usually when we call people to come quick, they dillydally.

And cross state lines.

We appreciate you not making us go to Connecticut

- to get you back. - So, what's the emergency?

We need a favor.

Sure. What kind of favor?

We got a little show opening here at the Expo tomorrow.

Just something fun, informative.

Excellent production values.

It is very good this year. Mm-hmm.

But our lead performer just dropped out.

- We can't find him. - You tried Connecticut?

- We have, actually. - Oh, he'll turn up somewhere,

most likely on the shore.

So, we were thinking: Midge.

- As what? - As the lead character.

The lead. I thought you'd like that.

What the hell are you talking about?

One of our affiliates is selling a product here

through the forum of music and dance,

and the leading part is sort of a narrator.

Like Our Town with an edge.

Midge is a comic.

This isn't really her thing.

Could it be her thing? Just for a day?

I don't think so.

How about now?

That is a very nice number,

but she's got a full-time job now.

Mm. We already mentioned her to the boss.

He loved the idea.

I'm really sorry.

Oh.

Where are you going?

Boss was counting on this.

He likes to hear bad news as soon as it happens.

Look, it's just really short notice, you know?

Our Town, those people were actors.

Right? And Midge isn't an actor.

How about I help you find someone, huh?

Boss likes the idea of the cute dirty girl doing this.

- Made him smile. - A rarity, let me tell you.

I got a magician you guys will love.

His hair is long. I put him in a dress.

- From a distance... - Susie, this is me asking you for a favor.

You understand "favor"?

Yeah, I understand "favor."

See, in a relationship like ours,

based partly on mutual respect and partly on the fact

that I did a lot of fucking favors for you...

- the office... - The furniture.

...the not killing you that time.

- That was a good favor. - But, see, this,

when we come to you, hat in hand,

asking for a favor, this is how you reciprocate.

This is how payback works.

So, I do this, it's payback.

It is, and very nice of you.

- And this counts as payback. - Definitely counts.

- You want to see the paper again? - No. I'm good.

- I'll talk to Midge. - Ah.

The boss will be thrilled to hear it.

Up on that.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Stop!

Ow!

- Gordon Ford Show. - Morning. Hair of the dog?

Morning. Hair of the dog?

Morning. Hair of the dog?

You know, everything's on backwards, dear.

Take two.

- Morning, Marge. - Morning. Hair of the dog?

What? Oh. Ew. No. What is that?

The only useful thing my mother ever taught me.

Morning, Trudy.

I don't ever want to be number one again.

Morning. Hair of the dog?

Oh, God, that's terrible.

- Are you gonna drink yours? - Didn't I already?

- I don't think so. - Oh. Here.

- Oh, God, that's terrible. - I don't understand.

How did I wake up in Wollman Rink?

Two in the morning, there I was.

Ah. Beats me.

Had skates on. Did I skate there?

At least it was a skating rink.

Yeah, but not the same rink I started out in.

- I think I kissed Betty Porter. - I think I kissed Betty Porter.

Morning, gentlemen.

Did we all kiss Betty Porter?

Betty Porter wasn't there last night.

- Are you sure? - She had a baby last Tuesday.

- Baby? - Christ. Who did I kiss?

Betty Porter was pregnant?

Drink up, boys.

- Hair of the dog? - No, thank you. - Morning, boss.

Midge, no one needs that much happiness right now.

Sorry. Geez, no one here can hold their liquor?

Really? Where have all the real men gone?

If you find out, let me know.

Hey, did you know Betty Porter was pregnant?

What are you insinuating?

Midge, Gordon wants to see you in the studio.

- Oh. Now? - Uh-huh.

Okay.

Ow.

You know, that's a lot more fun with a girl.

New chair. Making sure it maneuvers just right.

They think hosting a talk show is all about

the charisma and the jokes,

but really it's all about the chair.

Five point eight from the Russian judge.

Let's see Jack Paar do that.

You seem to have weathered the storm

better than the rest of the group.

Mm. Scottish ancestry.

And I've had three of Marge's drinks and I've thrown up twice.

- Huh. - You look good.

I never drink and skate.

Yeah, I was a little tipsy last night.

- Were ya? - Yes.

I might've noticed.

I just wanted to make sure that you're okay with everything.

With me, actually, after the, uh,

sort of, the thing with the lips that touched.

- The kiss. - Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

I'm fine.

Good. Good, I'm fine, too.

Hey, since we're both fine, what do you say we start over?

- Meaning? - Go out with me.

Dinner. No ice. Solid ground.

- I'm flattered, but... - Come on.

I can be quite charming when I'm not plastered

- and flat on my ass. - No.

- Give me one good reason. - I can give you 30 good reasons.

Okay, well, I don't have time for 30,

- but give me your top ten. - One, you are not Jewish.

Ah, I am Jewish. Changed it from Fordberg. Next.

- Two, you are my boss. - You're fired. Three.

How about I just skip to ten? You're married.

That's number ten?

Interesting.

Yes, I am married but with a caveat.

That's a new one.

It's a very specific kind of marriage.

We have an understanding.

As in, if there's a sock on the door, don't come in?

As in, she has her life and I have mine.

- That's called being single. - My wife is a great lady.

I admire her, I love her,

- and she's very flexible. - Contortionist?

No. Well, yes, but no.

Jack Paar dated a girl on his show once,

and then that girl was mysteriously killed.

I have never heard that story.

- Ask Jack. - I will.

But even if that were true, that's very unlikely

to happen to you here at 30 Rock.

The worst that can happen is you get fan-kicked by a Rockette.

I'm not going out with you.

I haven't even told you where we're going.

It would complicate my quest to be on your show.

- You are on my show. - I mean "on" on your show.

No. You're too pretty to be "on" on my show.

- No one would look at me. - Well, I plan on

walking through a plate glass window later on.

- You'd still be pretty. - Excuse me.

Sorry, Gordon. Midge, you have a phone call.

Thanks, Dorie.

Seems I have a very important phone call.

I notice you tend to leave all of our conversations unfinished.

I have a problem with closure.

Enjoy your chair.

Hello?

Hi. Listen.

I got a weird call today from Frank and Nicky.

Oops.

Yeah, yeah, I thought "oops," too,

originally, but I met with them,

- and it may not be "oops" after all. - Okay.

Uh, they're doing a show at the Building New York Expo.

Frank and Nicky are doing a show?

- Yes. - Like performing in it?

No, they're sort of producing it.