Ben and Kate

Thank you.

Okay, night like this,

I almost feel bad I don't pay taxes.

How does that happen?

I actually do work here.

You don't do anything, and I don't even make half that.

Why is that?

Well, I think I can answer that question for you

with one button.

No. BJ, that...

We serve food.

Hello, thank you.

You're welcome. Now just imagine

if you weren't wearing a bra how much you'd get.

How much did you get? Five.

- Five, that's $2.50 each. - Hey.

What's a man got to do to get a stiff drink around here, huh?

Okay, quickly, please, what do you want?

Ooh, that's a good question. Something strong.

What do I want? I definitely need to unwind.

Not too strong though, 'cause then I'll be on the moon.

Sweet, sweet would be nice. Sugar on the rim.

Sour is good, too. I love that pucker.

See, now you got me, boo. You guys!

Lemon Drop. Virgin Lemon Drop.

Ooh, lovely.

I love you, Ben!

I love you, Toad.

Dude, you're missing

and insane party, by the way, Kate.

How'd you guys meet?

We met on the way in.

I love that son of a bitch. Yeah.

I don't understand what the big deal is with birthdays.

You know, I mean, my 26th is coming up in a few days,

and the last thing I want to do is go crazy.

I mean, like,

give me a little three-hour nap,

a little aromatherapy bath time.

That's some serious partying.

You know what I mean?

Did you guys hear that?

Have to be deaf not to.

Dude, I know my sister.

Kate is down on Toad's 21st birthday because she never had

one of her own. Oh, well, why not?

9/11, that's why not. Wow.

No, Tommy.

That's not why not? No, dude, you need

- to get your math straight... - Are you sure?

...okay, before you throw that card out there. Yeah.

I think I did the right math. That's a big card to lay down.

That's a big card. Okay.

Kate had Maddie by the time that she was 21. Oh, of course.

We need to throw her the party that she's never had.

I love that. That's a fantastic idea.

Right? Wish I had the funds to contribute.

You know, it's been... Oh, all right.

Yeah, we can cover it. Yeah? Yeah, we got it.

Thanks, guys. It's just been so quiet in here,

and, um,

it's been a tough month.

It's been just totally dead in here.

Okay, all right, yeah. We got it. Okay, great.

I'll just hover. Kate's birthday! Yay!

All right, Kate's 21st birthday party 2.0.

All right, let's just throw some ideas around, see what sticks.

How about mermaids? Maddie, wake up.

No one wants mermaids when they're 21. My mom does.

Can you even spell mermaid?

Go on, spell mermaid right now

and we'll all get on board.

M... Yes?

U... And moving on.

It's tough to see you choke like that.

What are you guys talking about?

Your mermaid party.

- It's not a mermaid party. - We weren't even...

Who even said anything about a party?

I did not say the word "party." Yeah, what party?

Nobody said party. Literally all of you

just said the word, "party."

Baby, will you go brush your teeth?

Okay. Come on, dude,

you got to let us do something for your birthday.

Come on, Kate. No.

It'll be fun. No.

Kate... Come on.

No! You guys, no more wild parties.

That's not me anymore.

Dude, but you and your friends used to go crazy.

Please, you guys, I just want to do the same thing

I do every year for my birthday.

You've told me what you do every year since you were pregnant,

and it kind of sucks.

It's my birthday today.

Mmm-hmm.

Can you say, "Happy birthday"?

Come on.

I know you want to say, "Happy birthday."

It does not suck.

Dude, it sucks so bad.

You'd never find me

in an ice cream place alone on my birthday.

Just let me do what I want to do.

Please promise me you will not throw a party.

Fine, I promise...

sss...

sss...

What was that? What?

Were you just gonna... I'm sorry?

What was it?

It sounded like you were trailing off,

like you were gonna finish that sentence

once I shut the door.

Mm, no, no.

I didn't hear anything. No, yeah. No.

Yeah, you were trailing off.

You were like, lingering on the... on the "S."

No, I didn't. No. That's a weird thing. No.

No party.

No? Okay. No.

I promise...

sss...

sss...

sss...

Okay.

...to find another way to make her birthday awesome.

I saw what you did there. Nice.

I know just how to do it, too.

I'm gonna call Molly. Who's Molly?

Molly is Kate's craziest party friend from high school.

Oh, cool.

Yeah, she's a lot of fun.

Oh, she was fun,

always telling jokes, dancing,

stealing from dudes named Tommy.

Dude, are you still upset about the 20 bucks she owes you?

Okay, it's not the amount, and it was 15 if you must know,

it's the events that surround said transaction.

What events?

BJ, I'm gonna remove my glasses

so you can understand how serious I am.

Wow.

I need you not to ask me about that.

Okay, I'm so weirded out by what's happening right now.

So we're gonna go

buy some balloons.

Don't you look at me like that.

Wait, what are you doing?

We're going to Tommy's parents' house to drop off the buzz kill.

Yeah, but this route you're taking,

I can't go through this neighborhood.

This is where Darcy grew up.

Too many memories. Darcy, your ex-girlfriend,

Darcy? Yeah.

Are you seriously gonna make me turn around?

No, I mean, I-I can handle it, okay?

Stop the car! My God.

Stop the car!

I'm going to. Stop shouting.

It's okay, it's okay.

It's okay. Oh, man.

Sorry.

I just...

Darcy's parents are moving.

You know that Darcy and I

planned on living in that house together?

We called it our dream house.

That's your dream house?

Yeah.

What a teeny-weeny dream.

Yeah, we actually planted a tree in the backyard together.

Oh. Yeah, we were gonna...

You know, we were gonna get married and... Yeah.

Live together and...

Then when she passed,

I was gonna carve a canoe out of that tree

and then take it out to Lake Placid

and scatter her ashes.

Aww.

You thought she was gonna die before you.

We both did. Right.

Ben, don't be too hard on yourself, you know?

Yes, you're single and unemployed

and living in your sister's garage,

but at least you... You know?

Sorry, I can't think of anything.

I've got a lot of irons in the fire,

you know? Yes.

The day that my salad delivery system hits,

I could buy like, ten houses.

All I really need is just some place to carve out the canoe.

Surprise!

Oh, my God.

Ben!

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Ben, I said I didn't want a party.

Dude. This is not a... Where's Maddie?

Oh, she met a guy. Yeah, she's at the movies.