The Alien Dead

September 30th.

Byline: Tom Corman.

When I was in journalism school,

I was taught to be prepared

for anything out of the ordinary.

And when I took the position on this small town newspaper,

all I expected was the ordinary.

Outside of a few wildlife arrests

and local drunken rowdiness,

nothing much ever happened here to write about.

That was before strange things started occurring

in this sleepy little town.

And now, nothing will ever be the same again.

Yes, Mr. Griffith?

Can we put our backs into it, Ms. Griffith?

We're doing our best!

You must be patient!

Patience is a virtue, Ms. Griffith,

but it won't keep the sun from rising.

We've much to do before we rest,

and we've all got to get it all done before daybreak.

May I venture an opinion, Mr. Griffith?

You may, Ms. Griffith,

but I council you to conserve your breath

for more fruitful endeavors.

Well my opinion, Mr. Griffith, is this.

We're on a fool's mission.

They ain't no gators in this swamp.

They ain't been for months.

I know this is so, for no one, including those of us

who look for 'em ain't seen one since September.

Your reasoning, Ms. Griffith,

is both childish and unscientific.

Now, when one no longer sees gators where once

there were many, it means one of two things.

One, the gators have all moved, which is highly unlikely,

for such a migration would have been noticed.

The other is that they all died

and their carcasses sank to the bottom.

You know, when a gator dies,

it just doesn't up and blow away like an old dandelion.

It leaves its skin behind.

Now, this place we're going to

was teeming with gators less than a year ago.

Therefore, reasonable to assume

that that's where we'll find the mother load.

Well I don't see

what would make so many gators die all at once.

Pollution, my dear.

Disease, starvation, old age, any number of causes.

Okay.

Kindly stop the boat here Ms. Griffith.

Time for me to go to work.

May I have the gun, please, Ms. Griffith?

For what we're about to receive,

may the good Lord make us truly grateful.

Observe.

Ms. Griffith, could you please?

Are you sure it's dead?

The cold light of science, my pet,

assures me there can be no other way.

Kinda strange, Mr. Griffith.

Say again, Ms. Griffith.

Ms. Griffith?

Ms. Griffith?

Ms. Griffith!

So anyway, I said to her, I said,

"I'm not boring you am I?"

And she said, "No, not at all."

I'm telling this ridiculous story...

Okay, everybody up against the wall.

All right, we know it's no use, warden.

We surrender.

What are we surrendering for this time?

For killing a damn good story, that's what.

Oh really?

And what story was that?

The one about the 18-pound bass

that I caught at Black Hammock.

Huh?

I'm sorry.

He brought the pictures in,

but I filed them and forgot about them.

Where are they filed then?

"I" for implausible.

Here they are.

Never seen a bass like that before.

Are you sure that's what it is?

Am I a game warden or not?

Of course I'm sure!

Yeah, but look closely.

No, you see these lines here and here?

That's the early development stage.

Now, a bass loses those lines

when it reaches the adult stage.

But this bass is a whopper!

Well, you're right there.

But you know, this may be the biggest baby bass ever caught.

But what would make a baby bass grow like that so fast?

Well I don't know, but I think

Miller here is under arrest.

Isn't there a law about keeping baby fish?

Sure there is, but not when the baby fish

is this size, doc.

Hey, maybe that's the monster

everybody's been talking about.

That thing?

Or it's mom.

Listen, I'm going over to Kowalski's.

You want to go with me?

Why would I?

Well, we're gonna play poker tonight.

I think I'll pass.

Okay, I'll tell Tom you said hello.

Tom?

I thought he was working tonight.

Yeah, he is.

He's working with Kowalski on that bridge thing.

Good luck to him.

'Fraid so.

Have a good game.

Okay, you bet.

Good night.

So, anyway, I'd said to her, I'm telling this long,

ridiculous story about the collar, you know?

And so I look over, five minutes later...

I'll take three.

Then you don't think, sheriff, that the McGovern Bridge

should be rebuilt at all, do you?

What I think, son...

Whoa, man!

Three bullets!

Damn!

That put my out.

What I think, son, is none of your concern.

Or my papers.

That's right, or your papers.

But sheriff, the people have a right to know.

Let me tell you something, son.

Would you shuffle those?

Let me tell you the truth.

I haven't given very much thought to the bridge lately.

You mean you haven't given much thought to anything.

And when I do, I'll let you know, okay?

Now, you want to get even?

Yeah.

Damn right!

Then shuffle the cards, shuffle the cards.

- Sheriff! - Whoa!

Wait!

Wait, Cambell!

It's only old Griffith!

Old Griff.

Come to turn yourself in, huh?

Oh god, sheriff.

Oh my god!

Sheriff, he seems a little upset.

Yeah, upset.

Probably bad conscience.

What's wrong, Mr. Griffith?

Mrs. Griffith.

My Margaret.

Oh, it's terrible!

What's the matter?

What's the matter there, Griff?

One of them gators chomp on your old woman, huh?

It wasn't no gator.

Something got her out there, but it wasn't no gator.

Ain't been no gators in them swamps in ages, sheriff!

Course there's gator, probably asleep hibernating.

You know, if there's a gator out there,

old Griff will sure find him now.

What was it, Mr. Griffith?

I never seen nothing like it before in my life.

It's a rotten monster!

You dreamin' again there, Griff?

Well maybe so.

But ever since that big house boat sank in the swamp,

well, nothing's been the same around here since.

And now my Margaret.

Where it was this?

Way out there where all in gators used to be.

Well look, I'll take you out to Doc Ellerbe's house.

He'll fix you up with a sedative.

And after a good night's sleep,

maybe you can give me some directions or a map.

No, believe me, you don't want to go out there!

Don't worry.

It'll be broad daylight.

I've got to check into this.

Now let's go.

Want a rematch?

Go on out.

Beau?

Come on, baby!

Beau!

Beau?

Beau?

Beau?

Hell.