¡Three Amigos! (¡Three Amigos!)

One for each other and all for one

The three brave amigos are we

Brother to brother and everyone

A brave amigo

Wherever they need us, our destinies lead us

Amigos, we're always together

Wherever we go, we're three brave amigos

And will be amigos forever

We are the Three Amigos

We are the Three Amigos

We are the Three

Amigos

And amigos forever we'll be

Rodrigo.

Rodrigo, we will find the men we need in there.

Señores, we are from the village of Santa Poco.

We have come here for your help.

A very great injustice is being done.

A man named El Guapo is threatening our very lives.

We are looking for men who are brave enough to stand up to this tyrant.

Perhaps I can be of assistance.

I'll help you.

But first you're gonna help me, darling.

No!

- Leave him alone! Rodrigo! - Get out of here!

Come!

They are no better than El Guapo. They will not help us.

- No one will help us. - Rodrigo, you must have faith.

The Holy Mother will help us.

With three men such as these, El Guapo would not dare to enter our village.

"Goldsmith Pictures, Hollywood, California. "

The Three Amigos,

Goldsmith Pictures, Hollywood, California.

Three Amigos.

We have seen your deeds and think you are very great.

We can pay you 100,000 pesos.

A hundred thousand pesos?

We do not have 100,000 pesos.

Don't worry, Rodrigo, they will refuse it.

But it would be an insult not to offer it to them.

One hundred thousand pesos.

One hundred thousand pesos if you come to Santa Poco

and put on a show of your strength and stop the...

- The horrible... - ... evil, murdering...

...villainous monster, El Guapo.

So that once again we can be a peaceful village.

Twenty-three pesos.

We only have ten.

Okay. I give you the ten-pesos version.

You are great.

One hundred thousand pesos if you come to Santa Poco.

Put on show.

Stop the...

I'll put "infamous El Guapo. "

Infamous?

It means "murderous, evil," all like you said.

And it will save you money.

Thank you.

We've got to get back to basics,

Shooting for Love, Wanderers of the West, The Ride of the Three Amigos.

All the great Amigo pictures had one thing in common,

three wealthy Spanish landowners who fight for the rights of peasants.

Now, that's something everyone likes.

It's a people idea.

It's a story a nation can sink its teeth into.

But then came Those Darn Amigos.

A box office failure. Nobody went to see it

because nobody cares about three wealthy Spanish landowners

on a weekend in Manhattan.

We strayed from the formula, and we paid the price.

I thought we were quite good in it.

Good? We were great.

Why don't you tell the boys about the Cochise picture, Morty?

Sandy and Irving are working on it right now.

You meet Cochise. At first, you think he's a terrible guy.

You fight. Then, you get to know him, you come to respect each other,

and at the end of the picture, you're friends.

We send you boys to Baja and we shoot the picture in eight days.

What do you think?

That'll be the day.

What did he say?

He said, "That'll be the day," Mr. Flugleman.

What?

I don't think you understand who you're talking to here.

We have a few items we want to straighten out first,

or you might be looking at three actors

who really don't feel like making a Geronimo picture.

What the hell are you talking about?

Lucky, I think maybe we should...

What we're talking about is money, real money.

Amigo money.

No dough, no show.

Boys, boys.

Let me just say one thing.

It'll be a cold day in hell

when Harry Flugleman lets an actor tell him what to do!

Do you know what the word nada means?

In all those Mexican movies you made, did you ever hear that word?

Isn't that a light chicken gravy that you...

It means "nothing, zero, zip. "

It's what you're gonna have when I'm through with you!

You hit Harry Flugleman on a bad day.

I'd like to continue to work for free, Mr. Flugleman.

Are you living in the studio mansion?

- Yeah. - Not anymore, you're not.

Sam!

The Amigos are out of the mansion.

Where did you get those clothes, from a movie?

Yeah, the studio gave them to us. Those Darn Amigos.

Well, we're taking them back. Sam!

Get wardrobe over here right away. Take the Amigos' clothes.

Wait a minute! You can't take our clothes.

You gave us these clothes. They were presents!

Come on, wait a minute! Lucky.

Wait a second.

I think you misread who you're talking to here.

Misread?

I want these schmucks off of my lot.

Okay! Okay!

And Mr. Flugleman says you're not to come back on this lot ever!

Look, boys, I know show business. Something always turns up.

Telegram for the Three Amigos.

"Three Amigos, Hollywood, California.

"You are very great.

"One hundred thousand pesos to come to Santa Poco.

"Put on show. Stop. The infamous El Guapo. "

What does that mean? "In-famous"?

Ah!

Dusty, in-famous is when you're more than famous.

This man El Guapo is not just famous, he's in-famous.

A hundred thousand pesos

to do a personal appearance with this guy El Guapo,

who is probably the biggest actor to ever come out of Mexico.

Wow. The in-famous? In-famous?

Wouldn't it be easier if we just went to Flugleman

and asked him for our Amigo costumes?

No, Flugleman hates us right now. He's never gonna give us our costumes.

Lucky's right. This is the only way.

Hey!

Hey! Hey!

You two!

You! You two!

Look!

Look up here, look up here!

Hey, you, look! Up here!

Up here, up here!

Hey, you guys!

This way.

Turn on the lights.

Hey, what's going on up there?

Let's go, Amigos.

I'm looking for a man by the name of El Guapo.

Do you know this man?

Perhaps, señor.

Hey, where'd you get that pretty little gun?

El Guapo will be interest to see me. I have something he wants.

Hey, I'm talking to you.

Where'd you get that pretty little gun?

I'm meeting some friends of mine here.

When they get here, tell them to wait.

How will I know them?

You will know them.

You will most certainly know them.

Hey, why don't you come over here and sit on my lap?

I wanna show you something, honey.

Anyone else with a comment?

Some friends of mine will be coming here.

I hope you will show them more courtesy than you have shown me.

They aren't as kindhearted as I am.

Looks like somebody's been down here with the ugly stick.

Let's go.

Uh, excuse us. We're not Mexicans.

We're from out of town.

We were wondering if you could tell us where the best hotel in town is.

There's no hotel in this town.

Great. No hotel. I could kill somebody.

Excuse me. You are the...

Yes, we are.

We have heard of you.

No kidding.

I have a message for you.

The German says to wait here.

Mmm, yeah.

Well, so long as we've got some time to kill, I think I'll have a beer.

We don't have no beer, just tequila.

What's tequila?

It's like beer.

Is it fattening?

Fattening?

Forget it. If it's like beer, we'll have some. Three tequilas.

Sure. Sure, amigos.

Enjoy yourselves.

But try not to get into too much troubles, okay?

Thank you.

- It's an odd taste, isn't it? - It's probably watered down.

There's something about this place. Everybody seems so grim.

Well, they're just intimidated. They've only seen us on the big screen.

Hey, we're just folks like you. Just relax.

Dusty, go on over to that piano.

Oh, no. I haven't played in so long. I couldn't, really.