Eight Below

We all love the richness of a good eye cream.

But it does leave a richness or a greasiness under the eye.

Now let's take a look at that nasty salsa stain.

This shirt is ruined, right? Wrong.

Watch the stain-fighting power of...

... designed with women in mind.

If you can twist it, turn it, remove it,

then you can fix it, replace it, or improve it.

My kits includes a guidebook...

Plus they painted some people up like animals, and now it's over.

If you think you need to go to a gym to lose weight,

stay in shape, and have a body like this, think again.

This is Bowflex, the real workout...

When you're looking for a home, your real estate agent is a big part of your life.

You need someone you can count on.

Well, they studied science and medicine in skin care,

and combined those two in your skin solutions line.

That's exactly it. I so much appreciate being able to be here.

Nice to have you with us, as always.

We would love to take your phone calls. This really is a very...

When you contact a RE/MAX agent to help you buy yourself a home,

you expect service that's a little out of the ordinary.

After all, RE/MAX agents average more experience and more sales

than other agents.

So the next time you need outstanding real estate service, call RE/MAX.

Can't sleep?

Jesus,

Oh, you scared me,

I'm sorry,

- What are you doing here? - I just thought I'd check up on you,

Why aren't you in bed?

Your student's still here, He's up in your study,

He's not my student anymore, He's teaching now, He's a bright kid,

- What time is it? - After midnight,

- So? - So?

- Happy birthday, - Dad!

Do I ever forget?

Thank you,

27, I can't believe it,

Neither can I,

I forgot the glasses, You want me to...?

No,

This is the worst champagne I have ever tasted,

- It's not even champagne, - The bottle's the right shape,

"Windy Valley Vineyards,"

I didn't know they made wine in Wisconsin, You want some?

I hope you're not spending your birthday alone,

- I'm not alone, - I don't count,

- Why not? - I'm your old man, Go out with friends,

- Yeah, right, - Aren't your friends taking you out?

- Nope, - Why not?

For your friends to take you out, you have to have friends, Funny how that works,

You have friends, What about that cute blonde? Lives over on Ellis Avenue,

- You used to spend every minute together, - Christie Jacobson?

Christie Jacobson,

- That was in third grade, Dad, - Oh,

Last time I saw her was in a sandbox,

What about Claire?

She's not my friend, She's my sister,

And she's in New York, And I don't like her,

I thought she was coming in,

Not till tomorrow,

My advice if you can't sleep is to sit down and do some mathematics,

- Please! - We could do some together, the old way,

Can't think of anything worse,

- Line by line, out loud, - Sure you don't want any?

You better get cracking, By the time I was your age, I had already done my best work,

- How old were you? - Hmm?

When it started,

What?

You know, when... you got sick,

Uh...

- 26, 27, Is that what you're worried about? - I've thought about it,

Just because I went bughouse doesn't mean you will, It's not strictly hereditary,

Listen to me, Life changes fast in your 20s, and it shakes you up,

You're down, you've had a lousy couple of years, No one knows that better than me,

- You're gonna be OK, - I am?

Yes, I promise you,

The simple fact that we can talk about this together is a good sign,

- A good sign? - Yeah,

How could it be a good sign?

Because crazy people don't sit around wondering if they're nuts,

- They don't? - No, They've got better things to do,

Take it from me,

A very good sign that you're crazy is an inability to ask the question, "Am I crazy?"

Even if the answer is yes?

Crazy people don't ask, you see?

Huh,

What do you say? Let's call it a night, You can go up and get some sleep,

- Then in the morning... - Wait,

- What's the matter? - It doesn't make sense,

- Sure it does, - No,

- Where's the problem? - The problem is...

- You are crazy, - So?

So you said a crazy person would never admit that,

Ah, I see,

So?

- It's a point, - So how can you admit it?

Well, because...

I'm also dead,

Aren't I?

- You died a week ago, - Aneurysm, 63 years old,

The funeral's tomorrow,

Sorry,

- Did I... Did I hurt you? - No, It's OK,

Good,

Mr., Dobbs, you gonna stand there forever?

This is my daughter Catherine,

- Hi, - Hi,

Mr., Dobbs is in our infinite program,

As he approaches completion of his dissertation,

time approaches infinity,

- Catherine? - What?

I'm sorry, I just wanted to say I'm done for the night,

Good,

- Champagne, huh? - Yes,

- Celebrating? - Do you want some?

- Sure, - I'm done, You can take the rest with you,

Oh, Um...

- No, thanks, - Take it, I'm done,

No, I'm driving, Um...

- I'll let myself out, - Good,

- When should I come back? - Come back?

Yeah, I'm no way near finished, Maybe tomorrow?

We have a funeral tomorrow,

You're right, I'm sorry, I was going to attend, if that's all right,

Sure,

What about Sunday? Will you be around?

You've had three days,

I know you don't need anybody in your hair,

but someone's got to go through your dad's stuff,

- There's nothing up there, - There are 103 notebooks,

He was a graphomaniac, Harold, Do you know what that is?

He wrote compulsively, Call me Hal,

It's like a monkey at a typewriter, 103 notebooks full of bullshit,

I'm prepared to look at every page, Are you?

No,

I'm not crazy,

Well, I'm gonna be late,

Some friends of mine are in this band,

They're playing in a bar on Diversey, way down the bill, around 2:30,

- I said I'd be there, - Great,

They're all in the math department, They're good,

They have this song called "i," You'd like it, Lowercase i,

They just stand there, They don't play anything for three minutes,

Imaginary number?

It's a math joke, You see why they're way down the bill,

That's a long drive to see some nerds in a band,

I hate when people say that, It's not really that long of a drive,

- So they are nerds, - Oh, they're raging geeks,

But they're geeks who can dress themselves

and hold down a job at a major university,

Some of them have switched from glasses to contacts,

They play sports, They play in a band, They get laid surprisingly often,

So it makes you kind of question the whole set of terms:

"Geek," "nerd," "wonk," "Dilbert," "paste-eater,"

- You're in this band, aren't you? - OK, yes,

I play the drums, You wanna come? I never sing, I swear to God,

- No, thanks, - All right, look, Catherine,

- Monday, What do you say? - Don't you have a job?

- A full teaching load plus my own work, - Plus band practice,

- Plus I teach hockey to ten-year-olds, - You make me sick,

I don't have time to do this, but I have to if you'll let me,

I loved your dad, and I don't believe a mind like his can just shut down,

He had lucid moments, a lucid year, a whole year three years ago,

- Sorry, - Look, let me...

- Wait, You're 27, right? - How old are you?

- Doesn't matter, - How old are you?

I'm 26, When your dad was younger than both of us,

he made major contributions to three fields:

- Game theory, algebraic geometry... - Don't lecture me,

If I came up with a tenth of the shit your dad produced,

I could write my ticket to any math department in the country,

Give me your backpack,

Why?

- Because I wanna look inside it, - What?

- Open it up and give it to me, - Come on,

- You're not taking anything out of here, - I wouldn't,

You're hoping to find something you can publish?

- Sure, - Then you can write your own ticket?

What? No, it would be under your dad's name, for your dad,

- You have something in that backpack, - What...?

- Give it to me! - Look, you're being a little paranoid,

Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean there isn't something in...

You said yourself that there was nothing up there, didn't you? Didn't you?

- Yes, - So what would I take, right?

You're right,

Thank you,

Oh, what the hell...?

This isn't an airport,

You can come back,

The University Health Service is very good,

I'm fine,

Also... exercise is great,

I go running along the lake a couple mornings a week,

It clears my head, It's not too cold yet,

If you wanted to, I could pick you up,

No, thanks,

All right, Well, I'm gonna be late for the show, I'd better go,

Good night,