Futurama

Hurry up with the water.

I'm steaming inside my own shell, I am.

It's that hot, it is.

Man, it's hot.

How hot is it?

It's so hot, I poured McDonald's coffee

in my lap to cool off.

Johnny Carson said it.

No, Nibbler!

Don't drink the pool water.

It's full of chlorine.

Ah.

Lightweights.

Oh, wait, chlorine.

Perhaps this movie

will help take our minds off the heat.

Focus.

You're probably wondering

why your ice cream went away.

Well, Susie, the culprit isn't foreigners.

It's global warming.

Gwobu wabu?

Y-yeah.

Meet Mr. Sunbeam.

He comes all the way from the sun to visit Earth.

Hello, Earth.

Just popping in to brighten your day.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

And now, I'll be on my way.

Not so fast, Sunbeam.

We're greenhouse gases.

You ain't going nowhere.

Oh, God, it hurts.

Pretty soon, Earth is chockfull of sunbeams

their rotting corpses heating our atmosphere.

How do we get wid of the gweenhouse gwases?

Fortunately, our handsomest politicians

came up with a cheap, last-minute way

to combat global warming.

Ever since 2063, we simply drop a giant ice cube

into the ocean every now and then.

Just like Daddy puts in his dwink every morning.

And then he gets mad.

Of course, since the greenhouse gases are still building up

it takes more and more ice each time.

Thus, solving the problem once and for all.

But...

Once and for all!

Well, we just need one of those big ice cubes.

Someone should call the losers who were supposed to deliver it.

Hello?

President Nixon here.

I'm hiring you losers to deliver the ice.

And hurry up.

I'm sweating like J. Edgar Hoover

trying to squeeze into a new girdle.

You heard the good news, everyone.

Save the Earth, et cetera, et cetera.

Bye.

Wait, where do we get the ice?

The whuh?

Oh, Halley's Comet, of course.

The only sufficient source of ice cubes

that don't have bugs in them.

Wow, mining a comet.

That sounds fun.

Yes, there's no safer occupation than mining.

Especially when you're perched on a snowball

whipping through space at a million miles an hour.

Whoo, whoo, whoo.

Safe.

Deploying ice drill.

Wow, that ice dispenser's so big, the ice crushes you.

Yakov Smirnoff said it.

No he didn't.

Activating ice drill.

Oh, my God.

It's out of ice.

Like some outer space Motel 6.

Completely out of ice?

This could mean

the end of the banana daiquiri as we know it.

Also life.

With Halley's Comet out of ice

Earth is experiencing the devastating effects

of sudden, intense global warming.

Morbo is pleased but sticky.

The scorching heat has melted the polar ice caps

causing floods of Biblical proportion.

They called me crazy for building this ark.

You arecrazy.

You filled it with same-sex animal couples.

Hey, there are parts of the Bible I like

and parts I don't like.

Direct your pity now to the African turtles

seen here migrating to cooler homes in Holland.

That poor turtle.

Bender, are you crying?

Uh, no, never.

Morbo wishes these stalwart nomads

peace amongst the Dutch tulips.

I'm sure those windmills will keep them cool.

Windmills do not work that way!

Good night!

Well, everybody, I just saved a turtle.

What have you done with your lives?

You went all the way to Holland already?

Bender, a turtle isn't yourself.

Why do you care about it?

Because, I also care deeply about things

that remind me of myself.

Like poor little Shelly here.

What could you possibly have in common

with this walking soup mix?

For one thing, we both have a tough outer shell.

But lead a rich inner life.

And also... well, you know.

You're both alcoholic

whoremongering chain-smoking gamblers?

No, it's just...

neither of us can get up when we get knocked on our back.

What?

I've seen you get up off your back tons of times.

Those times I was slightly on my side.

Interesting.

Maybe we should test

this erectile dysfunction of yours, Bender.

Uh, no, that's not necessary, really.

I think I hear my factory recalling me.

Oh, that's what I get

for sharing my vulnerability with you.

Calling all scientists, calling all scientists.

Be advised, there will be a worldwide conference

on global warming in Kyoto, Japan.

I've got a degree in homeopathic medicine.

You've got a degree in baloney.

Professor Farnsworth, you're a scientist.

Forget it. I'm not going.

I have my reasons.

Shut up, all of you!

Strange.

You haven't acted this suspicious

since I found those "ape" bones in the basement.

My hip hurts.

I'm in the middle of cooking a turkey.

I have warranty cards to fill out.

I am not just making excuses.

All right, I'll go!

Oh, oh, oh, it's Professor Hubert Farnsworth.

He's looking sharp in a standard white lab coat and dark slacks.

His wristwatch is a Casio.

Thank you all for coming.

It is my pleasure to introduce the host

of the Kyoto global warming convention.

The inventor of the environment, and first Emperor of the Moon

Al Gore.

I have ridden the mighty Moon worm.

Good for him.

My fellow Earthicans

as I discuss in my book, Earth in the Balance

and the much more popular

Harry Patter and the Balance of Earth

we need to defend our planet against pollution

as well as dark wizards.

Sure, blame the wizards.

That's why I'm offering a bag of Moon sapphires

to the first scientist who can solve this problem

once and for all.

Lovely, aren't they?

Sapphires?

With those I could open the Gate of Garesh.

First up is Professor Ogden Wernstrom.

Wernstrom!

Ladies and gentlemen

I have placed in orbit a giant mirror

that will reflect 40% of the sun's rays

thus cooling Earth.

Observe.

Problem solved.

Whoa.

That's a little bright.