The Soloist

"Points West" by Steve Lopez.

A construction foreman in Griffith Park heard the crash.

Hey!

He saw a cyclist cartwheel off his bike

and slam face-first into the unforgiving asphalt of River side Drive.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

As we begin our descent into Los Angeles,

we ask that you please be sure that yours eat belts are fastened...

A 911 call brought out the troops from Fire Station 76.

- What happened? You had an accident.

- Do you know what happened? - No shit, I had an accident. What?

I don't remember any of this, nor do I recall the cause of the spill.

Our batteries are off. - I've been in here six hours now, and...

Listen to me. Wait a minute. We're ready to go...

Hypochondriac.

OR 2.

County-USC was the closest emergency room,

and I quickly realized

that if you find yourself there

with nothing more than a bump on the head,

you are one lucky Angeleno.

Wow.

Ready.

I'm not entirely comfortable with this.

Thank you.

You have no new messages.

You have no new messages.

Okay.

Really?

Doctors told me to expect up to four weeks of disorientation.

Christ. All right.

I'm not asking for sympathy. I just want you to know, I just...

I'm not asking for sympathy.

I just want you to understand what's going on

if I start writing about what a bang-up job

Governor Schwarzenegger's doing.

S-C-H-W-A-R-Z... Scratch that.

Passé. Lacks context.

Ouch!

Right. So the question is...

Hey, Tommy.

Theoretically could I, seeing as how the Governor has retired

his position at the muscle magazine, could I interview him?

Right. And will my non-Teutonic lineage be an issue?

See, no, that's... That's... It gets to be funny. It's just an article.

Do I need to have been on steroids for a long time to even apply?

Good.

Gail, I like the "attention must be paid" reference.

I might move it down a paragraph, though.

Thanks. I'm getting you a new desk.

Good morning, gentlemen.

- Thanks. Hey, guys. Check it out.

I got a study here that says the number of Americans under 35

who read a newspaper is now down to 40%.

- Forty? Forty.

And the group we're losing mostly are college-educated women.

- Pull my finger. Jesus Christ.

Hey, honey.

"Welcome back, Steve." That would have been nice.

Thank you. You know, when Lopez and I started out together...

You had to walk 20 miles to school in the snow with no shoes?

...people cared about what went on in the world.

- Am I right, Steve? I mean, Christ. - Back when people cared.

We're at war, and the only thing that sells papers

is a Lindsay Lohan cooch shot.

Jesus, did someone actually run that in print?

- I thought that was just on the Web. All right, all right.

- All I am saying is... - I didn't see that.

...that if you run an excellent, if I do say so myself,

front-page piece about how corporate America is profiting from this war,

and the only reader response you get is on two hands...

- Meanwhile... - That was a good piece, by the way.

- Fine. Thanks. You read it? I read that.

- Did you really? - I didn't read it, but I loved it, Curt.

Meanwhile, Lopez here scrapes his forehead,

and gets, what, I'm guessing about 75 e-mails

from readers worried about his safety?

- I chased this piece. - Then I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

There is something very wrong in this world.

Newsflash, something wrong with the world.

Yeah. Your face hurts my feelings, Steve.

That's harassment.

- Mary? - An environmental group studying...

- Please. - ...chemical contaminants

- in people's bodies. - I literally... No.

- Give some blood and write about it. - Let me check my e-mails.

I think it would be a good idea for you.

I'm glad you feel that way. I just did that.

What do you think?

The thought in my mind is, "No, thank you."

It was funny. People love it when you bleed.

- Readers. - Busted.

What is that? What do you call that, what you just did?

- Transference. - Freud.

Freud. Thank you. No.

Sorry about the face.

I hate needles. - So use it.

Originally used as a camp by settlers

outside of what was then the village of Los Angeles,

it was called La Plaza Abaja, or the Lower Plaza.

Stevie Wonder fan?

My Cherie Amour is the song of my life.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered.

But you really shouldn't write on a violin like that

because you have to treat a violin like a child, you have to protect it.

You only got two strings.

All I want to do is play music, and here's the problem

that I'm having right here.

This one's gone, this one's gone, this little one's out of commission.

But you get that in Cleveland public schools.

A lot of military statues in Cleveland.

- A very military-oriented city. - Is that where you're from?

You're not gonna get musicians on parade there.

You got Severance Hall there. You have The Music Settlement.

Ohio State University.

Whereas in Los Angeles, you have Los Angeles PD, you have LA Times,

you have Los Angeles Lakers.

Those are armies, too. Military regimentation, experimentation,

Roman gable, Roman Catholicism, Colonel Sanders,

- but this guy right here is... - Colonel Sanders.

...the quarterback with the orchestra.

Now the cello could back this guy with the same moves,

but the cello can't be concert master.

No. He leads out, this was Itzhak Perlman, Jascha Heifetz.

You can't play music in the winter in Cleveland

because of the ice and the snow.

That's why I prefer Los Angeles to Beethoven City,

because it never rains in Southern California,

and if it does, all I have to do is just go in the tunnel,

I could play to my heart's content.

I'm flabbergasted about the statue. Aren't you flabbergasted about this?

- Anyway, nice to meet you. - Do you have any idea how it got here?

- No. - Maybe they dropped it off late at night.

'Cause it's just astonishing to sit here for hours and just... Just gaze at it.

- It... It just blows me away. - No idea.

It really blows me away

that someone as great as Beethoven was the leader of Los Angeles.

Yeah.

I'm Steve Lopez, LA Times.

- Lopez, L-O-P-E-Z? - Yeah.

Lopez, Los Angeles Times. Mr. Lopez.

- What's your name? - Lopez.

Nathaniel Anthony Ayers Junior.

N-A-T-H-A-N-I-E-L A-N-T-H-O-N-Y

A-Y-E-R-S J-U-N-I-O-R.

Or J-R-period.

I apologize for my appearance. I've had a few setbacks.

Me, too.

Who are Nancy, Paul, and Craig?

Those were my classmates at Juilliard.

Good afternoon, Juilliard School.

Registrar's office, please.

What's up?

It's highly classified. I can't tell you.

- How many? - More than we can afford to lose.

Evidently, it goes like this.

Stock price sinks, we lose reporters.

Stock price sinks more, we lose more reporters.

That won't produce more or less...

Hi, this is Steve Lopez from the LA Times. I'm calling to enquire

as to whether a Nathaniel Anthony Ayers attended your school.

A-Y-E-R-S. I'm sorry.

Freaking child lock.

- How is our son, by the way? - He's good.

He likes his classes. He likes his pre-gay roommate.

You should call him.

- I call him. - Is a lie.

I call him. He doesn't call me back.

- He calls me back. - Mary...

- Just try again. - Yes, Mary.

- Yes, Mary. - Yes. Yes, Steve.

- I gotta take this call. - Great.

- Because I don't have a story. Hello? - Call him.

I'm sorry, we have no record

of a Nathaniel Anthony Ayers ever attending Juilliard.

Really?

But then I don't have a story.

Thanks for checking.

I'm not doing the blood thing.

I got too many other good ideas.

My dad is gonna freak when he finds out I met you.

He loves your column.

What about you?

- Well, I don't really read the newspaper. - Sure.

But when I do...

Hey! Those aren't all for me, are they?

I'm also going to need a clump of hair and some urine.

That's easy.

- All right. - Okay.

Make a fist for me.

Come on.

Crap.

- Lopez. Mr. Lopez?

Yeah, can you just hold on one second?

I'm having a little technical difficulty here.

This is Rosie Delgado from the Juilliard School.