Getting On

Getting On - 02x01 No Such Thing as Idealized Genitalia

There's lights.

Do you see bright lights, Mrs. Decker?

There's Herb.

Herb is there? Who's Herb?

Didi: Who's Herb?

What is Herb wearing, Mrs. Decker?

Does Herb have on a heavy jacket?

Or some shorts? Or...

- Didi? - What about pets?

Or scenery, Mrs. Decker? Mm?

You hear music, Mrs. Decker?

Didi: Mrs. Decker?

What?

Someone's loved one was passing away,

and you were hogging all the limelight,

making it all about you.

Can you undo her I.V. please?

There is an art to dying, Didi.

It's not just a chatty séance.

Right this way.

Take all the time you need.

We do need this bed by 11.

That's very sensitive research equipment.

If you could just... more gently.

Oh, Paul, Paul. (Giggles)

I was just headed to your neck of the woods to see you.

Well, good morning, Jenna. What brings you in so early?

Um, my studies. Have a seat.

I'm well into phase two of the geriatric component

of an anogenital study for the Human Genome Center.

This is potential groundbreaking stuff on gender flips.

And then you know that I've been working with big pharma

and the vulvet quarterly on a comprehensive study

on vaginal atrophy, with all the obvious commercial implications...

Lubricants and creams, and stuff.

So I wanted to drop off these receipts...

For some equipment that's been arriving.

Wow, this isn't, um, small potatoes anymore.

Well... uh, J-Jenna?

I... I just...

I don't think I can slide this through, Jenna.

Well, I kinda think that we should try.

After all, we did decide that I should be allowed to pursue my interests.

I'll try to be a good girl. I'll try to keep it down from here on out.

I promise. Thank you, Paul.

You smell especially rancid today.

Like a little fish left out on the counter overnight.

Didi, Didi. Uh, good morning.

Good morning. More packages came for my research institute.

Could you see that those get run up to six for me?

- Yes, ma'am. - Thank you. Dawn, good morning.

Were you able to get over to the men's ward

and measure my perinea?

Um, you know, I came in early

so that I could go... get that done, but then my caliper broke.

And I ordered a new one, but supplies was out.

You do know that both gentlemen are being released today.

Their consent would be for not.

Yeah, it's just... I have my annual physical at two.

And I have been feeling very run-down.

So after the physical then?

I guess that'd be all right. Great.

You know what? I really appreciate the opportunity...

I... I wonder if there's someone else.

- I'm not very good at research... - No, Dawn.

No, Dawn. You are a very talented Nurse.

That's why I chose you.

You just need to learn to believe in yourself.

Fellas? Ready?

Hello, I'm Dr. Jenna James.

Director of medicine here at Billy Barnes.

You're in our fancy, new bed, in our new comfort suite.

What brings you here to us today?

Mrs. Van Horn has congestive heart failure.

Secondary to cardiomyothopy.

CHF, wasting of the heart muscle.

Uh, yep, she's here for a bit of rehab.

Well, welcome. CMS has just approved

Medicare coverage for rehab for congestive heart failure.

Until quite recently, they felt it was just all pretty much a waste of time.

Actually, Mrs. V came in for a heart transplant yesterday,

but it was a false alarm.

Oh! Well, nuts to that.

She was actually a research chemist

until just a very few years ago.

Really?

- I came rushing in last night... - Oh...

Unfortunately, in most cases,

in bad accidents, when the steering column smashes into the donor's sternum,

we can't really tell how badly bruised the heart is

until we actually open up the donor's chest, so...

Can I have a little listen?

Okay, everyone... perfect example of end-stage CHF.

The sloshing sound. Andrew, come, come in here.

Yes, yes. Thank you.

Jenna: Very distinctive.

- Doctor: Sloshing? - Yeah.

All right. Good.

Come on in.

It's tight. I'm studying gender flips.

Do you know what that is?

No, I'm not sure I do.

Men's perinea are shrinking in length

with a corresponding decrease in motility and sperm count

in their ejaculate... why?

Well, we think that phthalates and chewing on vinyl toys

are producing these genetic changes that are just being passed down

from generation to generation.

Well, this will interest you too.

Male frogs exposed to herbicide develop full ovaries

and actually lay eggs.

- They do? - Yes.

Why are males turning into females?

Closely monitor her O2 and notify Dr. Ung

if it drops below 93 or 94.

And good luck with the new heart.

They do come in fairly regularly, so...

- Fingers crossed. - Dawn?

Right.

Our recently-installed sani-cams

recorded 97 contaminate events

and 64 cleansing events.

Now, these numbers are recorded...

Marguerite, shh. What?

These numbers are recorded in real time

at an offshore real time tabulation center,

for an effective hand-washing rate of...

Good job, everybody. Good job! (Applause)

Yeah!

Patsy: Thank you, Didi.

Ms. Ortley? Come in, come in.

Congratulations, your hygiene rate is nearly 100%.

Have you personally tried any of the motion-sensitive lights

in any of our low-occupancy areas yet?

I tried it in a linen closet... nice.

Thank you. What can I do for you this morning?

Uh, a raise.

Yes, and I took the time to list all the reasons why.

It's just... it's a really, really bad time.

The Committee asked every department to lower its budget by 15%.

Right, but I only make $12.55 an hour,

and I was told I would get a raise after four months,

and it's been way past that now.

Also, you'd be opening us up to claims of discrimination, unfairness.

If you got a raise, and nobody else did...

Right, but that's not discrimination if I deserve it.

It's just the entire Medical Center is on financial pins and needles right now

over the whole Waverly malpractice suit.

Right, I understand what you're saying,

but what I'm talking about is a small raise.

Pension and benefits are all on the chopping block.

The LPNS at memorial are making $17 an hour.

Okay, you know what? I will see what I can do.

Okay? But I need you to strengthen your case.

Give me more tools to work with.

Build an "attagirl" file,

fill it with all the great things

that your patients have to say about you.

Okay?

- Attagirl. - Attagirl.

I have such a headache and my stomach is still...

You know, I had a bagel and cream cheese earlier.

Do you think maybe I've developed like, a gluten intolerance?

Or celiac's disease?

Maybe.

Or... or dairy. The cream cheese.

I didn't even think about that, or both.

It could be both.

Do you think maybe I have an autoimmune thing?

Maybe I should go vegan again.

Huh? Maybe, Dawn.

It's a spectacular day out, isn't it?

I put a curse on you.

Yes. We've been all through that before.

Mrs. Carmaglia, we have enjoyed having you,

and I wanna thank you for volunteering to be a part of my research.

But you were discharged 36 hours ago,

and you cannot simply refuse to leave a hospital.

I'm sorry if we got your hopes up about a surgery,

but there's really nothing more that I can do.

We'll see about that.

The next encounter you have with his hospital may very well be with security.

Okay, Mrs. Van Horn, we're gonna try to lift you up a little bit.

We don't want the fluid to build up in your lungs.

Plant Services said they were coming at 3:00 to do a demo on this.

Didi, it's a bed. Okay?

Now tell us when you feel less pressure

and when it's a bit easier to breathe, okay?

Let's go.

- See? That's great. - Okay.

- Better. - That's better.

- Stop now, stop. - Okay, w...

- Stop. - Oh, it's not responding.

- Okay, wait, wait. - Dawn: There you go.

It's coming up. Didi, you're gonna squash her.

Didi, the knees, the knees.

Didi, she is not a piece of taffy.

That's better.

- That's it. - Why is turning that way?