The Neighborhood

I hope the prize in that cereal box is

the key to your own apartment.

Well, good morning to you, too.

Well, it will be once you get dressed.

Come on, we're going down to the scrapyard.

I got to find a new door handle for my truck.

Hey, man, I don't want to spend my weekend

at the dump with you.

Week end? You don't have a job.

When did your week even start?

Morning, Dad.

You're here, too?

Don't you have cereal at your place?

Of course I do. I'm a grown man.

Then what are you doing here?

Oh, I came to drop off my laundry

before I head over to the comic book store.

See, that's what's wrong with you young lions today.

Instead of getting out in the world

and hunting for yourselves,

you'd rather mooch off the pride.

When I was your age,

I washed my own clothes.

I made my own...

Fruity Puffs.

Oh, really, Mufasa?

Why don't you go and whip us up some more,

'cause we almost out.

Oh, I'm gonna whip up on something, all right.

Man, I wish your new job

had given us more time to move.

Every one of these boxes is so unorganized.

Ugh, I know. Look at this.

Baseball gloves, silverware, passport.

It's like we're running from the mob.

I got Christmas lights, running shoes,

and, oh... your toothbrush.

Oh, thank God.

Wait, I found it in my running shoe.

I've been unpacking for five days.

At this point, I don't care.

Oh, no.

Gemma!

Oh, no!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my...

Oh! What did you do?!

I didn't do anything!

How do we turn it off?

I don't know. I need a wrench.

Where's the wrench?

Check my other shoe.

Would you hurry up and put your shoes on?

We got to get to the scrapyard.

Man, why are you in such a hurry?

Look, I don't want to run into Dave

and get another, "Hey, neighbor."

Oh, man, I love those.

They're like little hugs for my soul.

Yeah, man, what is your problem?

Dave's just being polite.

Well, I hate polite.

I like "leave me alone."

So tie your shoe up.

Loop it, swoop it and pull it through.

Uh, hey, Pop, do I swoop it and then I loop it?

No, no, no. Personally, I loop, then I swoop.

Oh, so it's like a swoop-de-loop?

Swoop it, loop it, both of y'all are stupid.

Malcolm, let's go.

Hey, neighbor.

All right. Well, the main water valve is shut off.

Oh, thank you.

Do you know what the problem is?

Yeah, you bought a old-ass house.

Anything more specific?

Well, it looks like the pipe

that takes the water upstairs is cracked.

It's gonna need to be replaced.

Well, do you know a good plumber around here?

There's no such thing as a good plumber.

I mean, for real.

A grown man that dreams of splashing around

in another man's used water... is freaky.

I don't know, they make pretty good money.

Well, compared to you a lemonade stand makes good money.

Besides, you don't need a plumber

for a simple job like this.

Hey, you know what, Pop?

As much as I was truly looking forward to today,

you could fix it for him.

Could you? That would be amazing.

I could, but, uh...

Malcolm and I already have big plans for today.

Oh, yeah.

We going to the dump.

Well, I'd hate to ruin a father and son dump day.

Come on, Pop.

Look, he's our neighbor.

Now, what would Jesus do?

Boy, Jesus was a carpenter.

He didn't know nothing about no damn pipes.

Calvin, I-I don't have a clue what I'm doing here.

It'd be great if you could help me out.

Fine.

See ya!

Oh, no, you're gonna help.

Oh...

Pop, now my shoes are wet.

Well, if you would have tied 'em faster,

we wouldn't even be here.

Thank you so much for bringing these.

The only thing I could find to dry off with

was Grover's stuffed animal.

Judging from the smile on his face, he liked it.

Oh, look at this place.

I'm so sick of living in all this mess.

Oh, don't worry, they'll fix the pipe,

you'll unpack, and before you know it,

you'll be enjoying your beautiful home.

Yep, this is where your split pipe is.

I'm gonna go drown myself in the basement.

Wait, hold on. Wait, wait. Calvin will fix it, okay?

Why don't you just come to our house

and take a shower?

Oh, that would be so great.

Please tell me you have a corkscrew.

Damn, girl, it's only 10:00 a.m.

I knew I liked you.

That's so cool they smashed a hole in our wall.

When I grow up, I want to be a plumber.

Future freak.

Okay, buddy, this is a great learning opportunity.

Feel free to ask anything.

There are no dumb questions.

So, how we gonna cut that section out?

That's the dumbest question I ever heard in my life.

We gonna take a saw and make two cuts,

and then remove the broken section.

Yeah, see, now they're gonna take a saw

and make two cuts and remove

the broken section.

Hey, Dave, Dave, that's distracting.

Oh, okay, I'm sorry.

All right, and then, we're gonna patch in

a new piece of galvanized pipe.

See, then they're going to patch in a new piece

of galvanized...

Dave.

Got it, got it, got it.

And to protect the floor,

we're gonna lay some tarp out

right here, okay?

You guys got this, it's good.

Grover, let's go outside and play some catch.

You know, that's a good idea.

You should do that.

That's a good idea.

You should do that.

I had no idea our house was in such bad shape.

I mean, we bought it because it was so close to my new job,

and it was in our price range... Is that your wig?

It'd be weird if it wasn't.

Just, I didn't know you wore a wig.

For the money I spend, you better not.

I mean, you know, some days I do.

It just makes my life easier.

Okay, in there is a bathrobe

and here is a towel and a washcloth.

Why would I need a washcloth?

To wash yourself with.

It's in the name: wash cloth.

I just take the soap and rub it on my body.

That's nasty.

I mean, you're getting the soap all dirty.

Soap can't get dirty. It's soap.

Wait a minute, do white people not use washcloths?

I don't know any who do.

Do black people use washcloths?

I don't know any who don't.

- Wow. - Really?

Okay, go stand over there, square your feet to me.

Glove up, get ready, here it comes.

Okay. That was great.

So close. You know what?

This time, try moving.

All right, here we go. Let's do it again.

Feet square to me, glove up. Get ready, here it comes.

Great catch!

Now let's let go of the butterfly

and focus on the ball this time.

I need you to go next door and get my pipe threader.

I'm looking at YouTube, and HandyRandy79 says

there's a faster way we can do this.

Hey there, plumbing pal.

Corroded pipes put a damper on your day?

Well, let's go flush those problems away.

Freak!

Look, I don't know, Pop, he's got a lot of views.

See? There you go.