Young Sheldon

Behind every great scientist,

there were often unsung helpers toiling away in the background.

Presenting...

When Alexander Graham Bell needed an assistant,

it was Thomas Augustus Watson

who answered the call. Get it?

"The call."

Madame Curie's daughter Irène

was also her lab assistant.

Irène was so dedicated, she died of radiation poisoning.

Unlike her sister Ève,

who selfishly lived to 102.

Lastly, Émile Roux was assistant to Louis Pasteur.

When they worked on the rabies vaccine,

Roux kept a loaded gun in the lab

to shoot Pasteur in the head if he got infected.

He never had to, but it's fun to know he would have.

No, Sheldon.

You can't be my lab assistant.

Maybe you weren't paying attention.

I'll start over.

Behind every great scientist,

there was a dedicated as...

Son,

lab assistants are usually upperclassmen.

I believe I've been at this university

long enough to be considered.

You've been here two weeks.

Hey, 16 days if you count orientation.

Sheldon, there's a wait list of students

who've applied for that position.

I just can't give you special treatment.

Not with that attitude.

Tell you what, I'll think about it.

Should I come back or should I wait?

Come back. I'll wait.

I thought about it. No.

Judgment for plaintiff for $169.50.

You think Judge Wapner and Rusty the bailiff

are friends in real life?

Yeah.

You can't fake that kind of chemistry.

I'm flying!

There you are! Where have you been?

We've been waiting for you. What is this?

That's the exercise guy Meemaw likes.

Sweatin' to the Oldies 2

I can't believe anyone pays money to watch old people sweat.

40 bucks?

They sold over a million of those?

At 40 bucks a pop?

Do you know how much money that must be?

I'm not a calculator.

40 times... one million.

That's 40 million!

Whoa.

And then he said he wouldn't give me special treatment.

I think what he said is

everybody should be treated equally.

I'm sorry, is this Russia?

Should we get in line for bread?

It's his lab, Sheldon. He can do what he wants.

I've got it.

Dr. Linkletter likes you.

You go on a date with him and when he tries to kiss you,

say you'll do it, but only if he gives me the job.

I'm gonna ask you to think hard about what you just said.

What? I want something, he wants something...

Seems like a win-win.

Not for me.

You get a free dinner.

Make him take you some place nice.

Ooh, maybe Sizzler. Sheldon.

What are you doing?

Gonna make an exercise video.

Why?

If Richard Simmons could make 40 million bucks,

think how much I could make with my face.

What's your face got to do with it?

What do you mean? I'm gorgeous, ask anybody.

Since my meemaw was being stingy with her love,

I had to find another way

to change Dr. Linkletter's mind.

I decided to treat this

like a science experiment...

Test various methods of persuasion

to determine which was the most effective.

Dr. Linkletter, I was talking to the other physics professors

and they think you having an 11-year-old lab assistant

would be neat. No.

Don't you want your peers to think you're cool?

No. I would.

No.

Dr. Linkletter?

What?

If you look in your drawer,

you'll find a little something.

I hope you like peanut butter cookies.

This isn't going to change my mind.

You sure? Yes.

Then give them back, they're my favorite.

Say yes.

No. Yes.

No. Hija.

What?

That's "yes" in Klingon.

How do you say "no" in Klingon?

Qo'.

Qo'!

Aw.

I overheard some of your other candidates

talking about marijuana.

I don't care.

Well, you should.

I think they plan on smoking it.

You know what? What?

I was just admiring your posture.

You're not all hunched over like most people your age.

So, most people think you need expensive machines

to work out,

but I just use free weights.

To be clear, they ain't free. You got to buy them.

Are you watching yourself work out?

I made an exercise video.

Why?

To sell.

That's very important.

Next, we're gonna do curls.

'Cause, like I always say,

curls get the girls.

Lord. What?

Squeeze it at the top.

People like it when things rhyme.

Hello?

Can I be your lab assistant?

What time is it?

That's not a no.

If I say yes, will you please stop hounding me?

- Absolutely. - Fine.

You win. Good night.

Just out of scientific curiosity,

were you persuaded by the disorienting nature

of this late-night phone call

or by the cumulative weight of my relentlessness?

That one.

I learned an important lesson that night.

When you want something,

relentlessly annoying is your road to victory.

How may I assist you today? Follow me.

Should I look over your notes?

Would you like me to double-check your math?

See these bolts?

Scrub the grease off.

But there's hundreds of them. Yes.

That's where you come in.

Surely there's a better use of my intellect. Son,

we're building a solar neutrino detector.

If you don't want the job, there's the door.

No, I want it.

Good man.

Although that door does look tempting.

So, I could really use your help

making it look more professional.

That's burn right there.

Like, adding a little, you know

I think the word you're looking for is "pizazz."

Exactly. So, you'll do it?

Well, I'm flattered that you would ask,

but exercise videos...

That's not really what I do.

But I've seen you on TV.

I'm soft and firm

in all the right places.

You've been in plays.

It's all right, Molly.

Annie's here.

Don't forget my modeling work.

But I have a reputation.

When people hear the name Gene Lundy,

they expect quality.

They expect showmanship.

They expect me to get paid.

I'm gonna pay you.

Let's make an exercise video!

While not the lab work I hoped to be doing,

it did feel good to be part of an actual experiment.

A tedious, menial part

that could be performed by a monkey.

Or worse, an engineer.

Here you go.

473 grease-free bolts.

Excellent. Now what?

How about I help you design

an even better solar neutrino detector?

Actually, what I need you to do is

take this grease and put it on these bolts.

But I just took the grease off the bolts.

That was the wrong grease.

This is the right grease. Have at it.

If this is some kind of test to get me to quit,