I'll Come Running

What's the story with those guys over there?

Um, I don't know, they're foreign.

Wow, somebody needs to get laid.

Dude...

Oh, you bitch.

- Hi... Hi. - Hey.

Is there a problem?

Did you have a problem?

It's your country, it's in bad taste.

Yeah, I thought The Simpsons had prepared me for it, but no way.

Wait-- so we're too much like The Simpsons?

No, you're more like not enough... Then you'd be funny.

Well, you should've seen us in season four.

Ever since then we've been coasting on our rep.

No, it wasn't funny?

It wasn't really funny, was it?

What's the word?

You making fun of me?

Why, is it cutting into my tip?

No... I just think it's rude to make fun of people

when you haven't been properly introduced.

So properly introduce yourself.

What are you...?

It's my country, my language.

The same rule applies when you come to Denmark?

- I'm not gonna go to Denmark. - You promise?

No, but seriously, what did he say about me?

He said look at you and laugh...

No... Asshole.

...Like he had said something mean.

- Really clever. - Thanks.

Do you have anything, like, before the day after tomorrow?

No, no, no, no...

Not Dallas.

Okay, how much is that gonna be?

I think I'm gonna go ahead and take that.

Honey, if you could take your call right outside, that'd be great, all right?

- Of course, miss. - Thank you, thank you.

It's, it's Pelle Juul.

J-U-U-L.

So, if I'm stuck, what should I do with my day?

Shut up.

Happy birthday.

Support our teenage drinking program?

Oh, no, I'm sorry, I...

Maybe you know where this is?

Oh, the hostel?

You'll completely get your shit stolen, dude.

I don't think there's a hostel in Austin.

Dude, I don't even know what this is a map of... I don't know.

- Where'd you get this map? - Is there a hostel here?

It's on your right.

There's a coffee shop. It's very simple.

Good luck!

"A coffee shop"?

- You're... - Shh-shh-shh.

Where are you sending him?

You're sending him to the Church of Scientology?

- You think that's funny? - Shh, shh-- they have beds!

- You think that's hilarious, don't you? - They have beds.

Oh, hey, we're closed.

Ooh, already?

Yeah, sorry.

No, that's okay, thanks.

Hey, Simpsons...

We're closed.

- Hey, yeah, yeah, she told me. - Yeah.

You know, this isn't the only Mexican joint in town.

No, but you know... I can't find my way.

Yeah, and you know, three Mexican martinis

and you don't know what planet you're on.

- Drunk. - Oh, he's coming with us.

Hey, there's this, um, party if you want to come too?

You know, you can sober up there.

- Um, did somebody just bust a move? - No...

I could've sworn somebody busted a move.

He's a lost puppy. I'm just helping him out.

Is that what you call it? - Yeah.

Are you coming or not?

Can I have a cigarette?

The whole thing, "Please, dear God,

just say it's a joke, say it's a joke,

he's gonna start laughing any minute."

No, dead serious, he fucking answers the phone--

- What-- who is this for? - Me.

I don't know... I still went home with him.

I figured the worst that could possibly happen was bad sex,

and fuck it, that's always a good story.

Yeah, the world's a little less interesting

since you got off the market, Tessie.

Yeah, like you'd have a shot either way, Karim.

So was it good sex or a good story?

Uh, it was a...

a good story, but not for virgin ears.

Weak... Weak, weak, weak.

To good stories!

To turning 18.

This is a funny way to sober me up, Lisa.

Oh, she wants you good and wrecked to keep you in line, man.

Yeah, well, we've all seen the leash boss lady keeps you on.

Oh!

That woman's not gonna stop running that restaurant to give birth.

Man alive!

She'd have me breast-feeding if she could figure out how.

That's what you get for marrying the boss lady.

Oh, poor, poor, poor Karim.

I gotta go to the hostel, seriously.

Man, you're gonna get your shit stolen.

- Yeah, I know, it's... - No, no, no, no!

He should stay with us.

- Milhouse... you can have my room. - What?

What? Marge, no, I couldn't.

No, too late, already done.

I'm staying with that asshole tonight anyway.

No, the asshole is staying with us because you've got a breakfast shift, remember?

- Mm-mm. - Remember?

Mm-mm. I don't remember.

Poopie!

- How you doing? - Good.

You must be that asshole.

Yes, I am.

Milhouse, this is my brother Eddie.

They're calling me Milhouse.

Dude, you got off easy.

Yeah, these girls got names for everybody.

Yeah?

What do you two call me?

I don't know... Carl?

I'm sorry.

- Snap. - We're out of here.

- No-- where are you going? - I just got here.

Bitch!

- See you at home, Vee! - Later, poopie.

You know the chair.

It's like, orange, it's kind of puffy and...

Seriously, you do not have to carry this.

Oh, oh, and it has, like, these little legs.

What are you talking about?

Or we can look in the catalog, you know, then you can help me

pronounce the name of the chair, 'cause I don't get it.

It has, like, eight Ls in it or something.

What is it with you and Ikea?

Do you have no national pride?

Hey, Ikea is not Danish, it's Swedish.

That's something completely different.

What's in here, bricks?

- I got it. - I'll be right back.

These bastards...

They covered my tag.

- You got my back, right? - Yes!

- Keep an eye out for Chief Wiggum. - Chief... Chief Wiggum?

- Watch out for the cops? - Ooh, yes, right.

Mr. Chief Wiggum.

Chief Wiggum.

Man, I don't think I've ever met someone so into Simpsons.

- I don't know, I don't really watch it anymore. - Yeah? Me neither.

- Can you look out for me? - I'm looking out for you.

"Market forces made me do it."

Yeah, that's one of mine.

Really?

Is that supposed to be political?

See if I buy anything from Ikea.

I'm totally boycotting.

Thank you.

I like this.

Hi...

Okay, good night, Milhouse.

Good night, Lisa.

Oh, and Lisa?

Um... Thanks.

Good night.

Good night.

Fuck it.

- Hey. - Oh, hi.

- Hey. - Hey.

Hi.

So, I, uh... I guess you came to say good night.

- Yes. - All right.

You know, this kind of awkwardness gets points for style.

- I guess. - Yeah.

Now, that's a good boy.

My hair, my hair...

Oh, I'm sorry.

This is retarded!

Wait, um, there's a...

If you do that again...

I'm gonna break your fucking hand.

Oh, well...

I guess I won't be making your breakfast.

What?

Wait, wait-- you're gonna be making me breakfast?

Yeah.

Hey!

No ugly, naked men running around my house.

It didn't seem to bother you last night.

Last night is not this morning.

Oh.

Hmm.

All for you, my delicate flower.

- Hi. - Hi.