Gary and His Demons

What the? How did Mr. Takahagi get this?

No! No, Mr. Takahagi! Don't let the jambistone control you!

Mr. Takahagi, no! Not there!

Oh, oh! I'm coming around on it!

Oh, Mr. Takahagi!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry everybody!

Okay, cut everyone! What's going on in there, you two?

Sorry, Dianne! I didn't warm them up this morning!

These circles are so cold, Steve!

Sorry, but that's my bad! Listen, why don't I go back to my trailer?

I got a hair dryer there, I can warm these puppies right up, and we can get back to work!

I was a little too in character!

Sorry, sorry.

Nice and warm, ready for penetration, loving my life.

Alright, back to work!

Ah!

Well, I didn't get a good look at the assailant's face, but whoever it was,

sure got an eye full of tentacle!

I fell old lefty, you know what I mean?

Pow!

Dish of the honor, dog!

Oh, no!

You're a god!

Damn, let's do it!

Where'd you get this guy? This guy's great!

I'd like to just pack this guy, put him in my pocket every time I'm feeling down,

just open it up and get a little spoonful of marina!

You really put me over here, man.

This way you cannot make me take this case.

I'm a demon hunter, not a demon babysitter.

Technically, you'll be more like a demon bodyguard.

Mike is on our registry gear, so he deserves our protection till we find the great potry to kill him.

He's only ever been an upstanding citizen.

He has sex with human women using his tentacles!

He's a sick fucking octopus, man!

Hanta is a perfectly respectable art form.

Sure, it crosses some cultural taboos, but there's a real focus on storytelling.

Young women, near mythical beasts, relatable situations turned into kind of glistening, throbbing.

Oh my god, Leslie, do you watch this stuff?

Oh, come on, Gary, everyone's got kinks. What's yours?

BDSM?

A pony play?

No, I don't have a bathroom denial.

I don't have a... sorry, did you say bathroom denial?

Oh, yeah, that's a biggie.

One partner wants to go to the bathroom, and the other partner just pull-on won't let it.

Breach of employer employee relationship is a breach.

You're my friend.

Shut up, and we're not friends.

Less so now than five minutes ago. Much less so.

So you had to get back to work right away, huh?

Couldn't take one day off from porking human women.

You must think I'm a real workaholic, huh?

Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

Hey, don't touch those, okay?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, what's on Gary's mix volume five?

It's private.

It's private. No, we cannot put that on.

Put it away, okay, okay, okay.

Private properties.

Probably way you felt so comfortable rubbing your tentacles on it.

That's what you do at private.

Uh oh.

Looks like my fan club's here.

Ten of those guys make my school.

And it goes!

And clear it out.

Clear it out, everyone.

Eat brick and die, pervert!

My watch out!

Oh, he's got a slug.

Hey, get back here!

You get to throw a brick and run away.

I don't worry about them, Gary.

They're here all the time.

That kind of thing happens a lot, huh?

Oh, yeah. Protesters, death threats.

You know, somebody wants to throw an octopus through my window.

I mean, I mean, that's more dumb than crook.

Because obviously I'm not an octopus.

Right, you know what I mean?

Yeah, obviously.

Mike?

Oh, thank God you're all right.

Why didn't you call me?

Because I'm fine, Lennox.

I just wish people would stop making such a fuss about me.

Hey, speaking of fusses, meet my bodyguard, Gary.

Bodyguard.

Gary?

This is Lennox, my producer.

And my friend.

How's it going?

Sorry, what's this guy doing?

Oh, there's cleaning up my suction cups.

If he doesn't swab them out, I'm a UTI machine.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Thanks, Chip.

Anytime, Mike.

You just remind me never to ask another question while I'm here.

Listen, Gary, I can tell this really isn't your thing.

So if you want to wait outside when we roll, uh...

No, no, it's fine.

I'll just be over there, really far over there with my eyes gouged out.

All right, guys, let's get going. Hey, Mike.

Oh, let's get back to work.

Okay, yeah, we're rolling, everyone.

Oh, Mr. Taka, okey.

I've never been touched there before.

Oh, how did you know it touched there?

Oh, this is such a good idea.

It touched there.

So, what'd you think?

No, I don't know.

I didn't watch.

Who cares?

We were talking about that.

Don't worry, Gary.

Your secret safe with me, huh?

Right.

Whoa, is that a signed John Player, Jersey?

Yeah, he's a big hint, I think.

Wow, he's like my favorite basketball player.

The way he shoots it and dribbles it up.

You said it.

Wanna Brewski?

Sure.

This is also normal.

Sort of expecting pervert art, you know what I mean?

Like someone licking a boot or wet cement.

Stuff that's not like sex, but it's sex.

I know what you mean.

I know what you mean.

But hey, what can I say?

This is me.

And I like defying people's expectations.

Certainly defied my families.

They're all sea monsters.

They love causing shipwrecks.

But I've never been good at that kind of stuff.

The only thing I'm really good at is, you know, getting people off.

Is that crazy?

Is that nuts?

No, it's not.

I mean, I get it.

You know, my family's never really appreciated what I do either.

Then I guess we've got more in common than you thought.

Hey, our reservations, it's set.

Oh, hey, Gary.

You ready, Mike?

Oh, right.

We had dinner plans.

What do you say, fierce protector?

Can you play a shaperone?

Well, I don't really have a choice.

So, yeah.

Great.

Hey, looks like our cozy touwe just became a little gangbang, huh?

Just kidding, Gary.

Nothing new for us, Mike.

Just kidding, Gary.

Ugh.

Hey, Mike.

You decent?

Over here, Gary.

Hey, what's with the get up?

Not shooting today.

The adult film awards are tomorrow night.

So I thought I'd take the day off, drive up the coast and unwind.

Get her, join me.

I'm not sure, unwinding is technically part of my job description.

I won't tell if you don't.

There you go.

I can't believe you want.