The Big Bang Theory

You know, downward-facing dog

comes from the Sanskrit phrase Adho Mukha Shvanasana.

Oh, that's beautiful. What does it mean?

"Downward-facing dog."

Yeah, I guess they don't have Sanskrit

for "butts up and heads down."

Hey, we wrote the Kama Sutra.

If it involves butts, there's a word for it.

I thought we were getting breakfast before work.

Oh, right, sorry.

It's my fault. I asked Penny to do yoga with me.

If you want, I can get ready in five minutes.

It's cute that you think that.

Don't worry about it.

Hey, can I ask you a favor?

Would you mind taking Cinnamon for a walk?

Sure. You're living here for free.

I guess I owe you.

Bye, Cinnamon. Be a good girl.

Yeah, bye, sweetie! Bye!

Yeah, yeah, bye, Leonard.

Okay, and tree pose.

Well, she's done.

Things have been going really well

with the infinite resistance gyroscope.

That's great. How so?

Oh, the project is classified.

I can't tell you.

Oh, I suppose I could redact the classified parts.

All right, um, I came up with an elegant solution

to the... (speaks indistinctly)

I used the...

And then I... (speaking indistinctly)

And that did it.

Wow, I wonder what they're redacting.

Why don't you ask me what I'm working on?

Oh, very well. What have you been working on?

And feel free to honk during the boring parts.

I'm doing some experiments to show

that the signal to move a muscle occurs

before you know you even decided to move it.

W... So you're attempting to pinpoint

where consciousness resides in the brain.

Yes, I'm trying to figure out the nanometer

and the attosecond, precisely where and when

an event of awareness takes place.

Well, what do you know?

Here I was, waiting to be bored with biology,

and instead you tickle my intellectual fancy.

Which, unlike my body, is an okay place to tickle.

You know, when I was six,

I wanted to marry the gorilla from Good Night, Gorilla.

Maybe I was onto something.

Gentlemen, the most interesting thing

just happened with this spoon.

Unless it was singing "Be Our Guest," I doubt it.

Yeah, I picked it up without thinking about it.

Which raises a neuroscientific question,

when did I decide to pick it up?

The bigger question is, what are you gonna eat with that spoon?

You didn't get any food.

He does raise an interesting point.

Amy is studying the time lag between intent and awareness,

and I realized that applies

to the measurement problem in quantum mechanics.

Now, I recognize there will be a time lag

between me saying that and you Googling what it means,

so I'll wait.

I understand it, Sheldon.

Yeah, me, too.

I'm sorry, I spaced.

Are we still talking about the spoon?

It's nice to see you taking an interest

in Amy's work.

Well, don't get me wrong.

Neurobiology's nothing more than the science

of gray squishy stuff.

But, you know, when it connects to physics,

gas up the Ford, Martha, we're going for a drive.

So did you confront Jennifer?

I was going to, but she called in sick.

And guess who else called in sick.

Paul. Paul.

Who's Paul?

Oh, you met him at the office Christmas party.

He's married to Nancy.

Oh, sure. Wait, Nancy?

I bet Jennifer gets a promotion out of this,

which is so unfair because I work twice as hard as she does.

Don't worry, Jerry won't be fooled

by that type of behavior.

Jerry?

It didn't work for Randy, it didn't work for Tina,

it sure as hell isn't gonna work for Jennifer.

Well, I hope not. I just hate when

people play those kinds of games.

Tina?

With your sales record, you have nothing to worry about.

Mm.

I went to your office Christmas party?

You know, I like harp lessons,

but I'm thinking of switching to elevator repair lessons.

What are you working on?

I was thinking about your experiment

on the neuroscience of decision making,

and I realized,

if we connect it to the measurement problem

in quantum mechanics, we have a chance

to disprove the role of consciousness

in the Copenhagen Interpretation.

Wait, are you saying if we combine my experiment

with your calculations,

we can determine the precise moment in time

when the wave function collapses?

It could be the most inspired combination

since I mixed red Icee into my blue Icee.

It was like drinking 2/7 of the rainbow.

Sheldon, this is really interesting.

Yeah, and this one won't stain my teeth purple.

You know, we've never collaborated

professionally before.

Are you worried it might affect our relationship?

That is a valid point.

Perhaps we should establish some ground rules.

Well, that would make me feel better.

All right, let's start right now.

Uh, rule number one, no using sexuality

to get your way.

That's a ridiculous rule.

Is it?

Okay, how is that?

I can actually feel the toxins

being pulled out of my skin.

Well, this is a moisturizing mask.

Oh, well, then I can actually feel

the moisture going into my skin.

Hey, I hope you don't mind, I used a little

of your eye cream last night.

I thought someone looked brighter and tighter.

I'd still like to know who Jerry is.

Don't worry about it. Hey, after this,

how about we all go out and do something together?

That would be great. Thank you.

You want to go shopping?

Ooh, yes. Fun.

Or we could do something we'll all enjoy,

like play a board game.

I believe I've made some progress

- on our ground rules. - Oh, good.

What are they? Okay, uh,

number one: in matters of physics,

I have the final say.

In matters of neuroscience, you have the final say.

Unless I disagree.

Oh, here.

Number two: when we publish, my name goes first.

Oh, subsequently, if we win any awards, I speak first.

I don't want to be talking when the orchestra plays us off.

Can I see that?

Oh, of course.

I'll get that back.

Like all my underwear, that notebook says

"Property of Sheldon Cooper."

Sheldon, if we're gonna have ground rules,

I'll tell you the first ground rule...

I make the ground rules.

I'd write that down, but I can't now, can I?

I mean, they didn't say anything,

but I just kind of felt like I was being

a weird third wheel.

Huh, so you can tell what that feels like.

Interesting.

Anyway, I figured I can hang out with my friends

and have fun, too.

Well, if your idea of fun is riding in a minivan

to Target for diapers,

things are about to get nuts.

Oh, it's just nice to be with people

who are happy to have me around.

Isn't that right, Halley?

Well, at least someone had the courage to say it.

Thank you, you are a good citizen.

Told you.

Go ahead, throw my underwear out the window.

Same thing's gonna happen.

Terrific.

Do you want to hear our new set of ground rules?

Fire away.

Number one: we're on the same team,

we're not in competition.