Asterix the Gaul (Astérix le Gaulois) (Astérix le Gaulois)

Two thousand years ago and more...

Julius Caesar, as the head of his Roman legion, came, saw and conquered the land of the Gauls.

after a long and bitter struggle.

The resistance was led by Vercingetorige. And this valiant young leader...

was forced to lay down his arms at the feet of Caesar.

All of Gaul was occupied.

No, one little region held out.

One little region surrounded by the entrenched Romans.

And it is in this village that we shall meet the hero...

of our tale: The mighty warrior Asterix.

There he is now, about to go hunting for wild boar, their habit.

- You'll be back soon Asterix? - Yes, I'll be back in time for dinner.

Ah, something tells me there are Romans around here.

- What hit me? - They're the Gaul's favourite.

The occupation of Gaul, as we see, was no Roman holiday.

At Ham Sweet Ham, the legion leader, Caius Bonus, was meditating.

Hail Caius!

The patrol is back.

Hail Patroleum Popus, hail! Let's hear the report!

- Hail Caius Bonus. - Hail...

By the gods, What happened to you, men?

How did you get so badly beaten? Were you outnumbered?

Well, were we outnumbered?

Outnumbered? I wouldn't say that.

There was a boy.

Yeah, there was. And he wasn't too big either.

By Jupiter, there is a deep secret to the Gaelic strength.

Well, Asterix, anything special happened?

Oh, no!

Oh, yes! I crowned four Romans.

- Oh, that all? - Hey, Obelix, how would you like some roast boar?

Oh sure, just got a couple of these to drop off.

Yum yum, roast boars.

I guess the Romans were furious.

They are going to attack us again you'll see.

Why worry as long as Panoramix can cook up his magic potion.

That reminds me this is my ration day, let's go see the old Druid.

Come along Obelix?

Asterix! You know we mustn't waste food.

Hear that! That's him cutting mistletoe with his golden sickle.

Panoramix, Druid?

- What's the matter Panoramix? - You scared me, you made me...

cut my finger with my sickle.

Oh! Sorry Panoramix. I've come to get my ration of potion.

All right, come with me!

With stirring motion I mix the potion that gives us our magic powers.

The magic potion that increases your strength a thousand fold.

Exactly what do you put into that potion, old druid?

The origin of the potion is lost in the darkness of the ages.

A Druid can only repeat the secret to another druid. All that I can tell you...

is that it contains mistletoe and lobster.

The lobster is not necessary, but it tastes good.

- Can I have some too? - No Obelix, no no you know you can't!

You fell into a pot when you were just a baby and the effects...

of the potion on you are permanent, you know that!

Why don't you try out the effects of the potion for us, Asterix?

Sure, here I go.

It works, old druid, it works!

Those poor poor Romans, how sorry I feel for them.

And now let us see what the Romans are up to.

And in spite of our siege, these Gauls go on defying us!

If they are going to fight one against four it isn't fair!

They'll make us look bad!

- We have to find out the secret of their power. - You're right, Marcus Sallibus.

I must have a volunteer. Who will go and spy on the Gauls?

With so many volunteers, I have decided...

to choose the spy by playing musical chairs.

This game, which has come to us from the Romans,

was played with one chair less than there were legionnaires...

When the music stopped...

It's Caligolaminus! It's Caligolaminus!

- No, no, I won't go! - Caesar will reward you, Caligolaminus!

No, not me!

Either you volunteer or I will feed you to the lions.

- If you insist, I'll go. - Make a Gaul out of Caligolaminus.

Meanwhile in the Gaelic village...

Men, it's a long time now since we last heard from the Romans, that's a bad sign.

We must be vigilant and remember to get your ration of the potion.

- Hooray for Tunabrix, our chief! - Hooray for Tunabrix, our chief!

- Chief! - Yes, Obelix?

Panoramix won't give me any potion, that's not fair. Because I feel weak.

- You're weak? - Oh, my! Assurancetourix the bard!

I shall now sing a lay in honour of Gaelic courage!

Barbarians, they can't appreciate my art.

- Caligolaminus is now ready! - Good, lets go and see.

Put him in chains.

You're going for a stroll near the village of the Gauls, when the Gauls see you...

they'll come and rescue you, and then you'll be within their gates.

You'll learn the secret of their strength.

- Now how do you like my plan? - Well just between us, I don't understand.

Take him to the enemy.

Hey, hey, now easy, man! Easy, easy, will you? I am a fake prisoner.

I'm a real Roman. I'm a Roman!

I'm a real Roman!

I'd like to get into a good fight.

Yeah, but don't count on it, Asterix.

The Romans are staying close to their camp, they're tired of getting beaten.

What's that?

The sound of chains. Somebody's arriving. Up the tree.

How long are we going to have to walk like this.

Shut up! I'll tell you when.

You'll be the only one spared when the Gauls attack, don't forget!

- Romans coming, they've caught a little Gaul. - Let's save him!

I feel better.

Why don't we wake them up, so we can begin again.

- No, come on, it's getting late. - Come along, little fellow.

Mis... Mis... Mission accomplished.

- Well, lets take off his chains. - But you can't do it without tools.

Tools? Who needs tools?

Well, who are you?

I am Cali... Calix... Calix-liminix.

I... I live in Lutetia.

But the Romans and Gauls live in peace there, don't they?

Well, in there, I... I appear so foxy, and that they think I must be a spy.

The Romans take you for a spy? Are they stupid?

The heroic patrol commanded by Marcus Sallibus...

returns to the camp at Ham Sweet Ham.

Oh hail, the Gauls came they saw and they freed Caligolaminus.

What a great victory for us!

I hope that Caligolaminus will come back to us in a single piece.

I hope so for him, otherwise I'll grind his pieces to pieces.

- And throw the rest - ...to the lions.

We're approaching the village, there you'll be safe.

There's only us Gauls.

Oh, great!

- Hey, Asterix and Obelix they brought company! - I wonder who it is.

You'll have to meet our chief, the great Tunabrix.

Where are the Romans? Let me at them! I can take them!

I can take them! I can take them! I can take them!

Here we are!

I bid you welcome, brother, and I hope you'll feel at home.

Well, thanks.

And now I shall carol a song of welcome.

- Stroll around the village till supper. - All right.

I'll find out what sort of tools these Gauls use to work their metal.

- Hey, come on Obelix, that's all! - Here it is, coming right up.

Gosh! They really are strong!

There must be a secret to this power.

Caligoliminix! Supper's ready!

- Roast boar. - Roast boar?

Is there a secret to your super human strength?

Yup, but we can't tell it.

Why don't you eat? It'll get cold otherwise.

- Why can't you tell me what the secret is? - Because it's a secret.

It's not fair!

If we Gauls can't share our secrets, what's the use?

If I was as strong as you I could get past the Roman line...

and get back to my home in Lutetia.

- What do you think? - Well, I say let's finish his roast boar.

- My relatives are probably worried. - All right, lets go and see the Druid.

Panoramix! Panoramix!

Ouch!

What do you want now, Asterix?

Me, nothing, but our new friend Caligolaminus want to know why we're so strong.

It's out of the question! Absolutely out of the question.

But I have to get back home and go back to work.

What do you work at?

I'm a guide, I guide for Lutetia by night. National tourism.

No! No! And No!

All right, I get it, you don't want me.

I'll get to Lutetia anyway and if the Romans throw me to the lions...

At each bite I'll say, "You can blame Panoramix the Druid!

"You can blame Panoramix the Druid! You can blame Panoramix the Druid!"

- Oh well, all right! - Come back Caligoliminix!

Come back, Caligoliminix!

All right, I'll show you the secret of our power, I'll even give you a portion of a potion.

It's a secret you can drink?

Go call the others, Asterix.

Get your magic potion! Come and get your potion!

Come and get your potion!

- Potion? - Potion?

- Come and get your potion! - Potion?

- Potion? - The potion?

- Potion? - Potion?

- Potion? - Potion!

- Potion! - Potion!

A portion of this potion, can give you the necessary strength to return...

to Lutetia. But the effects of it disappear quickly.

It tastes like vegetable soup. But I can make it taste like other things...

Clam chowder, cheese omelette, steak and onions...

The super banana cream pie.

But I don't feel anything special.

Why don't you try lifting up that rock?

But I'd never be able to.

Hey little fellow, you still have to be careful.

- What are we going to do now? - Were going to dance.

Lets the dance now begin!

Take your places!

Step to the right!

And step to the left!

Left row forward, right row back!

Mark your places, reach your partner.

Pull your partner's moustache!

Pull your partner's moustache!

These are removable moustaches, They are the latest style in Lutetia.

Your are no Gaul, you're a Roman spy.

Get the Roman!

It's no use Asterix, remember he just drank the potion.

It's because of your potion he escapes.

By my golden sickle, you are the one who insisted that I give him some.