South Park

I've got more friends than Kyle!

How the hell do you have more friends than me?

Cuz people think i'm cool, dude.

How many friends do you have, Kenny?

63. What?

How the hell do i only have 37 friends?

Aww, are you guys doing that stupid facebook stuff again?

Stupid facebook stuff!

Why are you guys in here wasting your time?

We're supposed to be out playing video games!

Stan, you don't get how cool facebook has become.

You can message your friends,

Play yahtzee with your friends,

Even start your own virtual farm and have your friends visit it!

Dude, who the hell wants to play yahtzee?

Stan, we know it's hard to get started,

But we have a little surprise for you.

Yeah, dude, we made you your own facebook page!

Surprise!

No! I told you guys i don't wanna be on facebook!

Yeah, but now you can be friends with all of us!

Yeah!

I'm not collecting friends and i'm not building any farms.

I don't wanna get sucked into this!

Alright. Fine, dude, you don't have to add any friends.

You can just be like Kipdrordy.

Who? - Kip Drordy, the third grader.

He's got no facebook friends.

And he's had a profile for more than six months!

Aw, gee that's so sad.

Everyone should have one facebook friend.

You guys are retarded. I'm playing xbox.

There's really people out there without a facebook friend in the world?

That's so wrong.

Mom! Dad!

I made a friend today!

Kip! Really?

You did?

Yeah!

Oh son, that's wonderful!

What's his name?

Kyle broflovski!

He's a student and his interests include video games and reading!

Oh, is he a nice boy?

Oh, he's the best, mom!

He has a green hat and he wants the world to stop talking about ninjas!

Ooh! I need to tell him what i'm currently thinking about!

What am i currently thinking about?

Hey, Stan, i was on my computer at work and saw that

You have a facebook page now.

Yeah, dad i was kinda forced to.

Wul, so, are you gonna add me as a friend?

No, dad. I really don't want to get more into it.

Oh okay.

So i'm not your friend, then?

Dad, you are my friend.

But you just don't want to add me as a friend.

Dad, it's just a stupid click of a button that takes two seconds.

Right, but you don't have the two seconds or --

I just want to do my homework.

Alright, fine.

Just to be clear, you and i are not friends?

Alright, dad! I'll add you!

Oh, cool! Okay.

Mom, dad!

My best friend, Kyle,

He went to the dentist yesterday and got two fillings!

And today he's wondering if "hurt locker" really deserved the oscar!

That's great kip!

Yeah!

They sure are getting to know each other.

It's amazing.

You know Kipspent the morning at the boy's farm?

His friend lives on a farm?

Think i'll add some more pigs.

Ooh, maybe i should put in another field of corn there.

There we go!

Nice.

29?

No, i have 30 friend --

Hey, what the ll i...

Oh, no!

Oh shit!

Am i a joke to you?

What?

I just wanna know is that all i am? A big joke?

Ummm, no?

You do have a facebook page, Stan!

Aw, god dammit.

No, i just got that because Kyle --

I saw your page, Stan.

Relationship status? Single?

Relationship status?

I didn't even pay any attention to --

You like being single, Stan?

So that you can use facebook to find other girls.

According to your facebook page, we aren't friends.

Alright. I'll add you as a friend. I'm sorry!

And you better change your relationship status to in a relationship!

How?

By editing your profile under basic information!

Okay! I'm sorry!

Edit profile.

Basic settings. Jesus christ.

Stan, why won't you be friends with grandma?

Aw, dad, i just really don't want to pay attention to this thing --

Grandma is in the hospital

And you won't even be friends with her!

Alright, dad, i'll add grandma as a friend.

That's better.

Oh, and i sent you a funny picture, and you didn't respond to it.

Dude, fuck facebook, seriously.

What the hell is this?

Podcast?

Welcome to cartman's incredible podcast!

Hello fellow, facebookers.

I am here to do one thing: get you more friends!

Looking around facebook today

We see that since adding loser Kipdrordy as a friend,

Kyle broflovski's stock is plummeting.

He had 55 friends just two days ago.

He's down to just 11 this morning.

Run to your facebook account

And delete Kyle from your friends list because he is poison,

And i don't see him making a comeback any time soon!

You're going to want to dump Kyle

And if at all possible add clyde donovan.Why?

Birthday!

That's right, clyde has a birthday coming up,

And his mom is taking everyone to casa bonita.

If you don't have clyde as a friend,

You're going to want to add him

Because clyde's numbers are about to go way up.

And now word on the street!

Word on the street!

The rumors are now becoming more than that.

Jimmy and bebe have agreed to share their friends!

That's right, it looks like we are about to have a merger!

Merger!

So if you're a friend of jimmy's,

You're about to luck into about 90 chick friends.

And as we all know chick friends,

Are worth almost triple what dude friends are.

That's all the time i have for today.

Remember, update that profile and steer clear of Kyle!

Can i come in? - Sure, dude.

Dude, what's the matter?

I don't have any friends.

What?

I mean i do, but --

Ever since i became friends with that Kipdrordy kid

A bunch of my other friends have started ignoring me.

It would be fine except my farm is starting to shrink.

I know that i should just dump Kipas a friend,

But that's such a terrible thing to do, and --

I'm sorry. I'm just so confused.

I really need a friend right now.

Okay, dude, i'm here for you.

Okay. So then go get on facebook and fertilize my crops.

No.

Please!

My farm hasn't expanded in three days!

Dude, i've already had to become friends with

All of wendy's friends and my grandma's friends!

I do not wanna start doing all the farming stuff, too!

I'm not getting sucked into that!

You don't get sucked into it!

You don't get sucked in at all!

Please!

Fuck!

Okay. It says i'm at your farm.

Okay. So now just click on the little soil button

And then maybe put a sign up to comment on my farm.

Okay. Now i can read the sign you put up.

Okay. It says you and i are now very good friends.

Yeah, we're very good friends!

We're very good friends, Stan!

So kip, you spend more time with your buddy Kyle today?

Oh yeah, dad!

We've been having the best time!

I showed him all the pictures of me in that silly halloween costume last year!

Oh? What'd he say about those?

He laughed out loud!

And then he was rolling on the floor laughing!

Sounds like you boys had a ball!

Mom, dad, i'm all done!

Can i go hang out with Kyle and tell him all about what i had for dinner?

Well, it's a little late, but it is friday.

I think the more time you spend with your little friend the better.

Wow, thanks!

Have fun and be safe!

Ate pork chop for dinner had nice apple sauce too!

I think you look cute in your bunny costume.

What?

I think you look cute in your bunny costume?

What is that supposed to mean?

I have no idea!

That's what susan92 wrote on your facebook wall!

You give girls pictures of you in bunny outfits?

Fuck you!