Fearless

Alpha Base, still no sign of the creature.

Captain Lightspeed, our trackers show that Cruncher is right behind you.

Negative Alpha Base. Believe me, if it was right on top of me, I'd know.

It's right on top of me!

-I prepared you a light lunch. -

Here you go, chubby.

Is that a muffin-top I see?

Ugh! Forget weapons. I should've brought some breath mints.

But you can start flossing with this.

Or not.

Ooh! Ugh!

Time to wake up the babies.

Wake up the babies?

Oh, cool.

Whenever they refer to weapons as babies, you know it's gonna be sick.

Dude, are you kidding me?

You're at the second to last level of Planet Master.

Nobody's ever made it this far.

That's why my screen name is Fearless and not Buckethead.

You've gotta come up with a better name than Buckethead.

Why? His head is an empty bucket.

- Shut your face. - Watch the tail.

-Watch it. - The spikes are poisonous.

Let the man concentrate.

Yeah, you're talking to the guy who jumped a rocket cycle over Apocalypse Canyon.

Okay, let's wake up the babies. What could they be?

Sonic blast cannons? Plasma laser disintegrators?

Molten molecule melters?

Welcome to Bring Your Children to Work Day.

-Real... babies? - This has gotta be a joke.

What do these babies have, superpower puke?

I climbed to the top of the toughest video game ever made

just to change diapers and sing lullabies?

All right, kids, let's see if you remember what Daddy's been teaching you

after nap time.

Bah! Ah!

-Little bigger than a salad fork, buddy. -Ah!

Ah, you'll get there.

Mm-ah! I--

Trust me, kids, when you get bigger, so will your powers.

Watch Daddy.

- -

Ah!

Can we blow something up? These babies are boring.

They'll cost me the mission. Isn't there a space stroller I can put these kids in?

You hit that final level. You're a gamer god!

Call me Fearless.

Nothing can stop me now.

Nothing!

Oh, except her.

-Hey, Mom. - Hi, sweetie. Just checkin' in.

I wanna make sure you're not playing video games while we're gone all weekend.

-That's ridiculous. - And I'm reminding you

that your science project is due in two weeks.

-Your partner still coming over tonight? -Yup.

-This guy's a monster. - What?

Uh, it's a monster homework assignment, and I'm on it.

Make sure he fills out the college application!

I will, I just have to, uh, finish, a couple more things.

- Like another video game! - I'm-- That's not what I'm doing at all.

We should go. Dad's giving the keynote in a few minutes,

and you know how he gets gassy

-when he gets nervous. - Okay, TMI.

-Enjoy the weekend. Don't worry about me. - Okay. Bye, sweetie.

-Honey? -Yup, me too, bye.

Okay, let's finish this beast.

- -

-Death by geyser? It's a rough way to go. -

And cue the music, that sweet sound.

Ooh, there we go. I'm victor.

Captain Lightspeed. In my way once again.

Dr. Arcannis.

Aha. Arcannis.

-This is the guy I wanna take out. - Shoot him, man.

He looks like asparagus.

So pathetic, using your children to fight your battles for you.

They'll probably grow up just like their father.

I bet you wonder what that's like.

This is far from over, Captain.

I will never stop until I obliterate you from the universe

and conquer every planet in my path.

You can make all the deadly threats you want.

But you don't have superpowers, and you never will.

This isn't over, Lightspeed.

Wherever heroes are needed, we'll be there.

I'll have all your powers and more

when I take it to the next level.

You're about to get to the final level.

- That's crazy! - Insane!

This is big.

Fearless is about to become a household name.

But first, I gotta get rid of these babies.

They're just gonna slow me down.

Let me see if I-- Oh, here we go, Daycare.

Okay. Looks like I can drop them off while they grow their powers.

And fill their diapers.

Let a babysitter change 'em, not me.

Their powers are weak right now.

I'm hoping they can rest up and grow them here.

I hate to let them out of my sight,

but I have a debriefing with the Galactic Council.

-Mm-hmm. -Their mother's at a weekend seminar:

"The Dos and Don'ts of Battling Black Hole Scorpions."

-You got all of their snacks, right? -Yes, Captain.

In case of emergency, you can reach me using this.

-Got it. -My interplanetary communicator.

-I've seen one before. -Oh.

All right.

-There you... go. -You can let go.

Ah.

Daddy loves you, baby.

Just remember that I'll always-- Okay, she's gone.

How do we get from babysitting to winning this game?

Let's get back to blasting stuff.

I say skip all the cut scenes and get to the action.

On second thought, I don't wanna miss anything.

One of these babies might lay an Easter egg. I don't know.

Good point. Smart move. That's why you're number one and I'm--

-Two thousandth and ninety-eighth. - Ouch. That hurt.

As their powers increase, we make sure each baby gets a palladium pacifier.

This neutralizes their power, so they don't use them, accidentally.

Of course, yes, I remember.

All of our playrooms are reinforced steel, laser-repellent, flame-retardant,

earthquake-proof, radiation-proof.

Oh, and tinkle-proof.

-Fleech. -Ah!

Focus.

It's time to steal some babies.

- -And no, you may not eat them.

Aw.

Come on.

Ah.

Huh.

Eh?

Here.

Titus.

I can only hope you're as strong as your father.

- - Umm.

Ugh!

Xander.

Creates anything he imagines.

Just imagine.

- -Mmm.

Kira. The girl child of Captain Lightspeed.

-You may be the most powerful of all. -Mmm.

- -You fool!

I love you. You're my best fri--

Shhh.

He just stole the babies. Wow, this is heating up.

- Watch out for traps. - I gotta wrap this up soon.

Melanie is coming over. We gotta work on our science project.

- Melanie. She's fire. - You're lucky.

She's really smart too. I got Lunch Room Louise. Ugh!

With any luck Melanie will do the project for me.

- Sorry, I'm out. Dinner time. - Me too.

- Text me when it gets good. - Later guys.

I'm with you. No way I'm missing this.

Finally. Back to The Obsidian.

Yes. This is gonna be tight!

Ah.

Hmm.

-Fleech. -

Hook up the subjects to The Extrapolator.

This chair's all sweaty and... moist.

Captain Lightspeed. You look distraught.