Bite the Bullet

Hyah!

Hyah!

Whoa!

Heard your paper was running an honest race.

You heard right, Mr. Gebhardt.

Who in the hell handicapped this owl-head as a favorite?

- The smart money. - That's what we come to get.

Deal.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, boy. Whoa.

Whoa. You're all right.

Yeah. She's all finished, boy. Yeah, she's all finished.

Whoa.

Just--

Must be the dude from London.

How's he gonna win a 700-mile race sitting on a postage stamp?

- He won't win. - Wonderful journey. Wonderful.

Miss Jones? Reporter for the Western Press.

You the one said I wouldn't show up?

In this case, I'm pleased to be wrong.

In that case, pleased to meet you.

Don't never touch me. Never.

Morning. How much?

Civil War? South? Yeah.

These days, medals from losers is worth nothing.

No offense, mister. Giddyap!

Three's bet.

Check.

Two-fifty?

Call

Two pair.

You drew to an inside straight? Go ahead and take yours.

I think it's rather sporting.

I hope your horse doesn't run as lucky.

My horse is the luckiest horse in the West,

but he never plays cards for money.

We've had more than 60 letters to the editor asking why is a woman in the race.

Written by men?

Mostly women. They figure you must have a special reason.

Two thousand reasons.

How about you, Mr. Carbo?

Can your horse stand up against thoroughbreds?

My bronco only has to be half as good as them hotbloods...

'cause I'm twice as good as these old-bloods.

I've never been committed to defeat quite so tactfully.

This race will be won by a horse, not a mouth.

Won by a bronco.

No thoroughbred has the speed, wind or bottom of a mustang.

Not for 700 miles... and that includes your Arabian.

Five thousand dollars. My horse against the field.

- Even money? How much?

Three thousand. I'll cover the rest.

There's plenty more if you're game.

One game at a time, Mr. Parker.

Where is this great horse of his anyway?

Coming aboard next stop.

Good to have you with us. Thank you.

- Mr. Parker- - Where the hell is my horse?

Mr. Parker, meet- You. You seen my horse?

Was she here? Supposed to be.

Was I supposed to see her? You can't miss her.

She's got champion written all over her.

Oh, I see. That explains everything.

I don't read.

Hold your damn horses!

We're running late.

You're not leaving without my horse.

You know the rules, Mr. Parker.

The hell with your rules.

Afternoon. Can you spare some milk for a hungry orphan?

Yeah, here you go.

He don't know anything but his ma's tit.

You like horses?

You got one of your own?

You want one?

You got one then.

Don't I gotta pay somethin'?

Yep. Don't ever treat him bad.

You're in the big time.

I'm in the shithouse.

Out. For what?

Hustling. That's a crime? They're all hustlers.

They work for me. You don't. That makes it a crime.

Hyah! Hyah!

Ride 'im, cowboy! Ride 'im, cowboy! Ride 'im!

Whoo! Whiskey for me and a beer for my horse.

Hey, Slim, how ya doin'?

Cowboy always tends to his horse first.

Mwah!

Telegraph Chicago. You're covered, $15,000 at seven-to-five.

Twelve thousand in Kansas City, even money.

Call of fall bets. Can't be done, baby. It's play or pay.

Get through to my son. On his way, Mr. Parker.

He'll be here before dark.

Mr. Parker, your father left about an hour ago.

What about Tripoli? Did he show yet? No, sir.

Damn stupid, $40,000 bet on a missing horse in the hands of a damn fool.

Two important regulations.

Win! Rule one-

Rule one, each horse must carry...

no less than 160 pounds,

including rider, saddle and extras.

Rule two, you'll be issued a compass and a map...

for every leg of the race.

On it, you'll find the safest route.

You don't have to take it.

You do have to make every checkpoint.

Miss one, you're disqualified Out of the race.

Any questions?

Jump-off time, 6:00 in the morning.

Hey, British.

- Drink to the winner. - Thank you.

I haven't really won the race yet, however-

Damn fine shooting, sir.

- The best, right? - If you say so.

What do you say, Pop?

Never saw a man yet that could hold his liquor like a bottle.

Hey, you. What's your name?

What do you say?

You're pretty good calling a poker hand.

You care to call this hand?

You gonna pass?

Nobody wants to play.

Yo, Tex? Yo?

Fetch a jackass. Anybody killed?

just a quart.

Ya done right.

A boy lookin' for a reputation is the most dangerous thing alive.

It certainly wasn't worth dying for.

What is?

Even if you do it, what's it going to prove?

Proves I can do it. That's what it proves.

Ha-ha! Ya-hoo!

- - All right!

That yer jackass?

Nope.

Well, it ain't your business-

You never heard of Sam Clayton.

Champion of dumb animals, ladies in distress, lost kids and lost causes

How ya been? Fine till you come along.

You want it sudden? Drag it out.

Palm Sunday.

Goddamn.

Matthew. Chapter five, verse 44.

Just like old times.

Yeah. You start trouble and I start bleeding.

- Get up, damn it! - Palm Sunday's over.

Hurts, don't it?

Something personal? Mm-hmm.

My eyes ain't as good as his'n.

I might miss and then you'd be dead,

and I'd be out of the race for abusin' a dumb animal.

Bad for you, worse for me.

Okay, Pop.

You look like a man of property.

Well, when I shook you, my luck changed.

Yeah, big things, huh? New things.

Easy livin'? Right.

Well, who wants easy living? I do.

You- You're fired.

Your job was to get J.B.'s horse on that train.

That was your job!

Much obliged.

You gave all the others a 70-mile advantage!

She was handled real easy, Mr: Parker: Perfect condition.

Then she'll win.

If she coulda won before today, she'll still win.

Except for one thing-

Me. And me.

Me too.

You'll need movin' money.

Who said I'm movin'?

Stayin' takes even more money.

I got a month's pay comin'.

A hot bath costs five dollars.

Yeah?

I guess I just won't bathe.

Takes $15 just to get drunk.

I'm gonna stay sober.

Thirty dollars for an all-night woman.

Seventy miles in six hours, eh?

Could he go 100 miles every day for a week?

Uh-huh. That might be enough to win this race.

I came 5,000 miles to try it.

Why? To beat the best.

Mister, you must be either rich or crazy.