Chuck

The old heated doorknob. Nice try.

Lester, you still giving me the silent treatment?

Okay.

Everybody, good morning.

Good morning.

Your coffee, sir.

Ah, jeffrey, thank you so much.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

You know, call me old-fashioned, but...

I just... I prefer cream over laxative.

I need everybody's attention.

I know some of you are unhappy that I'm running the buy more.

I'm sorry.

But all your little tricks and your tactics...

I know them all.

I taught you them.

So listen up.

No more sabotage.

Thank you.

Lester, you're in my chair.

If there's one thing I learned in hawaii,

is that I'm good at this, men.

I am good at the buy more.

Do me a favor and grab chuck for me?

Could somebody grab chuck for me?

Hey, jeff, can you send chuck back here for me?

Chuck!

Casey, I want to ask you about a beastmaster.

Really?

No, not really.

Hey, have we got any more info

on you-know-who down in castle?

Shaw? Yeah, yeah, shaw.

I'm busy here, chuck. Why don't you

talk to him yourself? He's living there.

Living in castle. What? What?!

Casey, what's going on?

Is he really in charge of our team?

Shaw's a special agent for the cia.

He can do pretty much whatever he wants.

Even more special than me?

It gets worse.

Whenever a special agent takes over an operation,

they conduct a review.

Sarah's in there with him right now.

What do you think they're talking about?

Is chuck bartkowski a real spy?

Yes, of course he is.

I mean, his training has been irregular

and he was a civilian only two years ago.

Well, these mission reports tell a different story.

Sometimes he sounds like bond,

and other times it's like a jerry lewis movie.

I need to know,

is chuck a liability?

Wait. The review's about me?!

Shouldn't shaw be asking me about me?

Where's the fun in that?

Look, I am never gonna be able to escape this ridiculous cover

if shaw thinks I'm some moron civilian

who just got unlucky enough to get

a computer dumped in his head.

Fine.

Help.

Morgan, did you get glued to a chair?

Yes. Yes, I did, okay?

The whole store's coming after me, dude.

Lester went mute and refuses to talk to me.

Maybe 'cause you fired him?

I don't know.

They've teamed up and formed,

like, an evil cabal of tricksters.

I haven't had an untainted cup of coffee in days.

I need my free coffee, dude.

You know, you give me five minutes running

this popsicle stand, and we'd be ready.

Ready for what?

The russians.

Hey. Hey-hey-hey-hey.

Guys, a little help.

Is that-is that shaw?

Listen, I'm an integral member of this team, okay?

My voice should be heard.

Oh, your prepubescent little girl screams

are gonna be duly noted.

Actually, right now. He wants to see you.

Look, shaw, I'm quite certain that things have been said

about either myself or my abilities as a spy,

and while I concede that there are more traditional

or professional spies out there...

Chuck, this is my meeting.

Right. Sorry.

Please continue.

I think we can all agree that this team

has been dysfunctional the last two years.

And I think I know what the problem is.

The problem is them.

What?

What does that mean?

It means he's a moron.

Chuck, they coddle you.

You could be a great spy, but they won't let you evolve.

Really?

I mean, yes, yes, really. He's right.

Let me be a spy.

Let me out of the car. I'm ready.

No, shaw, he's not.

Duly noted... And ignored.

Chuck ***

Undercover in paris.

Are you ready?

Absolutely.

Um, so what are we doing here exactly?

Since your intersect skills can be glitchy,

you'll need some basic spycraft

for this mission.

Have you ever used one of these?

A pen?

Kgb-model tranq pen.

Oh, yeah, casey's got one of these.

Aim it at your target's food or drink,

and it's bedtime for bad guy.

You want me to tranq jeff?

I can't do that.

I've read everyone's file.

Jeff barnes will be just fine.

Come on, chuck, are you up for this?

Yeah.

Hey, jeffy-jeff.

How's it hanging, brother?

Everything okay? Yeah.

Um, what do you mean, "okay"?

What are you doing?

You don't usually check up on me like this.

Did I do something wrong?

No, no, no, no, buddy.

Everything's fine.

You're fine, work's fine, you know.

This is more of a checking in.

Just making sure that you're feeling okay.

Just a little human-

To-humanoid

interaction, so...

Good.

Thanks, yeah. Little bit of a rocky start,

but I think I finished strong. What's next?

Let's go.

You're ready.

Wh... Whoa. I am?

I'm ready after 20 seconds?

After two years.

I just wanted to talk to you privately, chuck.

Listen, you've been on more missions

than most spies have been in a lifetime.

Trust me, you're ready.

Ah...

Freshly brewed, untouched by jeff's lips.

Checkmate, lester. Checkmate.

As assistant manager,

I claim this cup of coffee for me.

Mmm.

Okay, that's what I'm talking...

You guys got to understand something.

You got to get up pretty early to get...

A cia contact will meet you in paris.

You're traveling as carmichael,

a successful businessman.

Itinerary and passport.

Guys, it's all good. I'm ready, okay?

What are these?

Nunchakus.

You know very well

that I don't like carrying guns around.

But I thought it wouldn't be such a bad idea to have

some kind of offensive weapon, you know,

just to have with me just in case.

And they're supposed to be in the intersect, so...

Casey, can I have a second?

Hmm? Yeah.

Listen, I know you want this

to work and you want to impress shaw, but this is crazy.

Okay, fine, the nunchakus are a little crazy.

You weren't supposed to see those.

But shaw-- an honest-to-god,

real-life special agent for the cia--

Thinks that I'm ready.

He thinks that I can do it,

and I want to prove to him that he's not wrong about me.

I'm not saying that you can't do this,

but please...

Please just don't go now.

Okay? You need more time.

He's going.

Beckman agrees with me.

We set up a subnetwork on your phone.

You'll be able to text and call from the plane.

Your ticket, and your car's waiting outside.

You'll receive further instructions in paris.

Oh, daddy!

First class!