The Simpsons

Oh, boy, Lenny is gonna be so surprised.

And I got the perfect card.

Uh-huh!

"Over the hill than under it." Yeah.

Having chipped in, you may now sign.

Nice work.

No "best wishes," I like the restraint.

Yeah, I thought about "regards," but Lenny knows how I feel.

Okay, everybody, be quiet.

Lenny's gonna be here any minute. Shh.

Sur... prise.

I thought this was my blood transfusion room,

but, uh, there's not a baby in sight.

It's a surprise party for Lenny, sir.

Everybody chipped in five bucks for a card and a cake

and a show by close-up magician Abraca-Debra.

What? Damn!

Well, in that case, I suppose I should sign, too.

"With regards, C. Montgomery Burns."

Mm. Hmm.

Ah, Lenny, happy birthday.

This is the greatest birthday ever!

And best of all, Mr. Burns signed my card.

To everyone who chipped in.

Chipped in. Chipped in.

Chipped in.

What kind of person signs a birthday card

and doesn't chip in?

You sign the card, you got to chip in.

- It's the code of the card. - How big did he sign?

Eddie Bauer big.

Stupid unpaid signature.

This is the worst thing that ever happened

at a nuclear power plant.

Homie, just let it go.

Don't let a signature drive you crazy.

You're right, honey.

I'll let it go.

I don't know what I'd do without you.

Happy birthday, Lenny.

No. No!

No!

Homie, what is it?

I had the most horrible nightmare

where I listened to your advice.

Okay, okay.

Okay, Homer, you can do this.

You can make things right.

Mr. Burns, everyone who signed

that birthday card chipped in except for you.

You owe five dollars.

How dare you...

give that the slightest worry.

Hope you didn't lose any sleep

over this little misunderstanding.

Here, have a cricket on a thread for good luck.

You monster...

taking advantage of an old man.

What are you talking about?

Mr. Burns is heavily medicated

on a round-the-clock regimen of skin thickeners.

The side effect of that medication

is bouts of uncontrollable decency.

And you exploited that.

I'm demoting you to the worst job in this place:

supervising the nuclear plant interns.

Listen up, millenniums. I'm Homer Simpson,

your new supervisor.

So stop Snapchatting, Fortnite-ing

and swiping right on your Uber Venmos.

We're actually replicating plant start-up sequences

to simulate the effects of high-demand energy draws.

Contamination versus irradiation...

your thoughts?

Address rate of reaction.

What variables can we assume?

Uh...

Der... Uh... Der-der...

Der...

This guy is denser than osmium-188.

Are my ears hearing this?

Are you seriously busting the clangers

of Homer J. Simpsons?

This man is a god and his clangers are unbustable.

You're looking at the Michael Jordan

of Sector 7G.

And you humps aren't worthy to swill his backwash.

You're sticking up for me?

Who are you?

Mike Wegman, nuclear intern.

And your number one fan.

Yeah, well, your hero has a Pop-Tart

in his cell phone holster.

Are you kidding?

No one disrespects Homer Simpsons.

Not you, Ricky, with your standing desk.

It's not a workout; it's been disproven.

And not you, Gretchen,

drinking coffee creamer straight from the bottle.

You exude amaretto, you freak.

And, Benjamin, no one ever got trampled

at a Michael Bublé concert.

Drop the friggin' lawsuit, you're clogging up the system.

This man is a dynamo.

So you shaved coconuts give him your full respect.

All right, all right. Sorry, Mr. Simpson.

Looking forward to learning from you, Mr. Simpson.

People at work usually yell at me, not for me.

How do you know who I am?

So modest. What a dynamo.

- Because of this. - Hmm?

Whenever there's trouble,

you are at the heart of the action.

Number six is why all those horses went bald.

Yeah. Well, I-I-I've been looking up to you for so long

from the cheap seats, and now we're finally face-to-face,

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I got to ask,

w-will you be my coach? My sensei?

Homer J. Simpsons, will you be my mentor?

If you accept, let me know

by taking this half a PowerBar.

I rolled up the wrapper really good so there's no pocket lint.

Mike Wegmans, I will be your mentor.

Okay, which of these ties is better

for my first day as a mentor?

Purple stripes or this one?

Are you wearing my perfume?

I like it on you, he'll like it on me.

Dad, it's not often that you...

how do I put this?...

care so much about your job?

Well, now that I'm a mentor, everything's changed.

For the first time, another human being

is dependent on me to guide them through life.

This guy I'm menting is so cool.

He listens with his mouth open.

He's been blocked by so many celebrities on Twitter.

And he thinks I'm the most valuable worker

at the entire nuclear plant.

Oh, I get it.

He's super dumb.

Mock all you want.

I finally have someone at work who admires me.

He's fat.

Homer, your pants.

They'll come around again.

They always do.

There's my thoroughbred.

I-I got your coffee just the way you like it.

No coffee, just doughnut holes.

Oh, my God, are you busting my bricks?

I-Is this real?

Sector 7G.

7G, where Olympus fears to tread.

He sure does.

Okay, you are a category five hurricane of knowledge,

and I'm like that old idiot who won't leave his beach house.

Please, drown my in my attic with what you know.

I thought you might say that.

So I've prepared inspirational posters.

I feel like Amar'e Stoudemire

when he first set foot in Jerusalem.

W-What else you got?

- Uh, let's see... - Uh-huh.

- Don't forget about the, uh... - Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yeah.

- Oh, uh, and, of course, - Gold.

- You got to, you just got to. - Gold. Okay.

- Because if you don't... - Soakin' it in. Gold.

- Well, oh. - Soakin' it in.

- Well, they don't have that anymore. - I can remember this.

- And you see these? - Yeah.

- I'm gonna tell you that later. - Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yeah.

I can't believe this.

I-I'm only 35 and I am sitting at the feet

of the atomic Baba Booey.

Mm. You're 35?

Then why do you have a job of a 20-year-old

and talk like a ten-year-old?

Here's how it is.

So, my buddy 'Nesto and me

were cleaning gutters for cash,

when that idiot 'Nesto falls off

and lands on a doghouse. Stupid 'Nesto.

Then my parents are on my case to get a real career,

something "closer to the ground."

So I thought, "Why not follow my hero

"into man's greatest calling?

Nuclear whatever."

So I went down to the plant,

told them I was part Native American...

I could be, I always liked those guys...

and boom! I'm an intern.

Three short years later, got myself a mentor.

Wow. My posters really worked.

But you don't need me telling you how great you are,

y-you get enough of that at home.

Happy birthday, Lenny.

Say, Mike,

why don't you come over to my house for dinner?

I've got some people I'd like to introduce