Palindromes

Dawn had many phases in her short life,

but one thing never changed was her lovely music...

even when she was told again and again she had no real talent.

Last night, rummaging in her closet, I came upon this audio tape,

a recording of a piece she's preparing for a talent contest at school.

She lost in the first round.

Personally, I think the judges made a mistake.

Mom!

It's OK. It's OK, honey.

Sh! It's OK, it's OK, it's OK.

I don't want to be like Dawn.

I don't want to be like her, or end up like her.

Aviva, no. Sh!

Don't worry. You and Dawn are completely different.

Really?

Your cousin was a troubled child - a middle child.

Her parents didn't love her the way your father and I love you.

Why not? - I don't know.

Maybe if she hadn't grown obese.

If she'd gone to a dermatologist...

Is it true she never washed her hair?

Dawn was a very special person, with very special needs.

Oh, God!

There's so much I'd have done for her, if only...

Missy told me after the funeral

that Dawn was pregnant from a date rape

and that's the real reason she killed herself.

She hated the idea of bringing another Dawn into the world,

and then she said that I was just like Dawn.

Don't listen to what Missy says just because she's popular.

I know, because if I were pregnant, I would never kill myself.

That would be killing the baby.

You would talk to me first, right?

Yes, because I want to have lots and lots of babies.

As many babies as possible, because...

because that way, I'll always have someone to love.

Oh, honey...

I love you so much.

So I'm really not like her?

No, Aviva.

You are the cutest bundle of love in the whole wide world.

No matter what anyone says, you'll always be you.

My baby.

You made it!

Great! - Hi!

Come on in. This is the laundry room. Bruce!

Great. - Bruce, the Victors are here.

Anyway, this is it. - How are you? Bruce.

Judah! - I'm coming!

It only took us about 3 months. We had to raise the ceiling.

You know, Bruce was getting paint in his hair.

Christ, I was in the bathroom. - OK.

Joyce, Steve-my son, Judah.

Hello. - Nice to meet you.

And this is Aviva. - Hey.

Hey.

Let's go out to the deck. The lake is gorgeous. I'd love you to see it.

It's so beautiful.

What are you listening to?

A self-esteem lecture, part of a series.

Judah, show Aviva the lake.

Will you shut the fuck up!

You wanna come up? - Oh, OK.

I'm trying to put together a feature, a mix of genres.

I'm worried people will think it's like Jackass.

It's nothing like it. It's original.

It's hard, though.

In the beginning, nobody believes in you or wants to help.

It's hard getting someone to be in it. No one makes an effort.

I asked my mom, she said no. My dad, he's too busy.

People are unreliable.

They have no faith.

I know.

Is that you? - Yeah.

You were so cute. - Yeah.

Too bad you had to grow up.

Yeah, I know.

I was so happy then, only I didn't know it.

Maybe you're happy now. You just don't know it.

Oh, yes!

Oh, Ron! Ron!

Ron Gerard! Harder! Harder! Harder!

Yes! Oh, Ron!

That guy... - Yeah?

He lives across the lake. I'm gonna try and see if he'll do a cameo in my feature.

I need a professional actor for marketing purposes.

But it'll be family rated.

Touch my titties! It feels so good! That's right, touch them!

Please take it off.

Let's get under the covers. - OK.

Do you think about sex a lot?

I don't know. I guess.

I never think about it. I just think about having a baby.

Why?

I don't know. They're cute. I want one.

OK, then. Are you ready?

OK. Here goes.

I thought you'd done this before.

I did. You should have moved your hips more.

Huh? - Just forget it.

Oh. Is that it, then?

What? Do you want a tissue? Is that what you mean?

Could you try it again, like Ron Gerard?

Right now? - Yeah.

I don't know.

Aviva, are you OK?

What?

Who did this to you? Who the fuck did this to you?

It was that Wallace boy! That ugly, fat little bastard!

Aviva, did he rape you?

He's gonna pay!

That fucking shitface! He's gonna pay big time!

What will you do? Talk to his parents?

Fucking sue? She doesn't need any more humiliation.

We'll find a doctor and that'll be that.

Honey, can we talk for a bit now? - Oh, OK.

I'm sorry I was so upset at you before.

It wasn't your fault and I apologise.

It's just... It was such a shock.

I want you to know that your father and I stand behind you.

We're not gonna let anyone find out about this.

We don't want you any more hurt than you already have been.

And we'll find a doctor

who'll be able to take care of everything for you.

I won't let your life be ruined by this.

I'm keeping it. - Oh, honey.

It's mine.

I know. I know this is difficult.

But really, you're still just a child.

There's so much you have to live for and experience.

You don't want to be tied down by... by a baby.

You have a future, college, boyfriends...

I won't have any boyfriends!

Of course you'll have boyfriends. - I don't want any boyfriends!

What do you mean? - I mean I don't want any!

Are you trying to tell me something? Aviva?

It's OK. You can talk to me.

Are you a... - No!

Aviva, it's OK. It's OK if you are.

There's nothing to feel bad about.

You know that I'll always accept you, no matter what.

You know that you're my one and only.

My sweetie-pie.

You know I'm on your side.

But really...

Be reasonable. The baby has to go.

What happens if it turns out deformed?

If it's missing a leg or an arm or a nose or an eye?

If it's brain-damaged or mentally retarded?

Children of very young mothers often turn out that way and then what?

Then you're stuck. Your life is ruined forever!

You end up on food stamps, alone!

But it's my baby! - But it's not a baby! Not yet!

Really, it's just... It's like it's just a tumour!

I'm keeping it.

No, you're not.

Yes, I am.

Then you find another home. - You can't take my baby away!

Too late. I already made the appointment.

Honey, I know you're upset. I spoke with your mom.

I understand. She's very upset also.

But could you please open the door so just the two of us can talk?

Honey?

Honey, please.

You know you gonna have to come out of there sooner or later.

Can't stay in there forever.

You gonna have to eat sometime, go to the bathroom.

Honey, you've been locked in there too long,

and I'm afraid if you don't open up, I'm gonna have to force it open.

Please, honey. Please don't make me force it open.

You're not making this easy for either of us,

so just open the door and we can discuss this like adults, OK?

Open up! I'm not kidding around! Open the goddamn door!

No!

We'll take care of it tomorrow.

She's not coming out.

She's got no choice. Come on, let's go to bed.

Baby, I know how hard this all has been.

And I'm so sorry, really.

But now I'm gonna tell you something that I've never told you before,

but I think you're old enough now, so...

Well, when you were just a little girl, about 3 or 4...

I was pregnant.

And at first I was all happy and excited.

"A new friend for you," I thought. "A baby brother."

I thought I'd call him Henry after my grandfather Henrik,

who never cared about money.

But, well, then your father and I had a long talk,

and I began to realise

there were other things to think about.

Your father was out of work. My paintings weren't selling.

I was blocked. I started smoking again.

There were bills, a mortgage, a lawsuit.

If I'd had another child...

I wouldn't have been able to give you all that I have.

All the time we spend together, just you and me,

and the little treats your father and I pick up for you -

the 'N Sync tickets, the Gap account,

hand-packed quarts of Ben and Jerry's.

We couldn't have afforded it.