Caligula (Caligola)

Darling Drusilla...

I have existed from the morning of the world...

and I shall exist until the last star falls from the heavens.

Although I have taken the form of Gaius Caligula,

I am all men as I am no man and so...

I am a god.

- What's it like with Marcellus? - With what like?

- He's so fat. It's disgusting. - He's not.

- He's only large. - And tiny where it counts.

- How do you know? - I saw him at the baths.

- Poor... poor Drusilla. - You are vile.

- Hold. - Messenger to the Prince.

- Identify yourself. - Macro.

- Password? - Justice.

Prince?

Forgive me, Prince.

The Emperor commands you to wait upon him.

What does he want?

A last look at you perhaps. He is 77.

May he live forever.

How is Ennia?

My wife lives on if in the day she can see you again, Prince.

Wait outside.

- What does all this mean? - Take care, little boots.

- Pray to Isis for me. - I'll follow you as soon as I can.

I hate I'm back here, Macro.

He's planning something.

You've nothing to fear. I command Praetorian guards.

With Tiberius, there's always something to fear.

Be very careful of Nerva.

They say he can even tell what you're thinking.

Nerva.

- Prince. - Dear friend.

Ten years is a long time for the Emperor...

to be heading away.

I should feel a great deal happier...

if he would back in Rome where he belongs.

- Tell me, how is the Emperor? - Old, like me.

I mean, how is his mood?

Like the weather.

But the weather's good today.

Changeable.

I've heard that during the last month seven of my...

colleagues in the senate have been put to death.

For treason.

Nine to be exact. Five of them cheated.

They killed themselves.

That wasn't playing fair.

Don't you agree, Nerva?

They were all good men.

If they were good men, how could...

the Beloved Emperor find them guilty?

You have a gift for logic, Prince.

Caligula.

- Beloved grandfather. - Do your dance, boy.

- My dance? - Yes.

The one that you delighted the army...

with when your father made you its mascot.

Come on.

Little boots.

- I'd forgotten it, Lord. - Oh, dance for me.

Delight me.

Dance.

My little fishies.

Fishies.

Why not? My little fishies. Come in.

All of you.

Stop that.

Out, little fishies. You've had enough for today.

- Caligula. - Yes, my Lord?

Why do you say such monstrous things...

about me at Rome?

- I hear you often pray for my death. - I don't, Lord, ever.

You do not?

By Heavens, Caesar, I swear I do not.

You do not in...

in public.

Never, Lord.

Remember this.

That I have let you lived...

so far.

My little fishies love me.

Innocents, you see.

I protect their innocence.

This is the least I can do. For it is a foul world.

Rise up.

Nerva is scouting at us. Help me, Nerva.

Help me transform this young barbarian...

into a Roman caesar.

There have been three Roman caesars.

Julius, Augustus and yourself.

- Which do you want him to be? - Best.

That would be your father, Augustus.

You see, Caligula, I'm insulted to my face.

Nerva, dear friend.

Watch out for Macro when I'm dead.

- I know. He hates me... - Because you are wise.

Because you are good.

So when I'm gone, watch out for Macro.

I've taken my precautions, Caesar.

What might they be?

Heaven help Rome. For I'm gone.

I am old.

Yes, Lord, but you will live forever.

All my family are dead but you, child Gemellus and that...

Claudius that's uncle.

The others struck down by fate.

And it is fate, little boots, that rules us, not any god.

You are a god, Lord.

No, I'm not. Not even when I'm dead.

Julius Caesar and Augustus Caesar,

they are gods.

So say the Senate...

and so the people prefer to believe.

Such myth they use.

- Little boots, just look at you. - Yes, Caesar?

I am mercy. A viper in Rome's bosom.

Uncle.

Caligula.

Do you think this boy have been drinking?

- I think he has, Caesar. - So do I. Macro.

- Yes, Lord? - Bring him more wine.

And waste none.

Remove your bootlaces.

And what do they say of me at Rome?

Well, they need you, Lord and they miss you.

Most of my life I have given to the Roman people.

I have fought.

I have given all.

- Aren't they lovely? - Yes, Lord.

The Satyrs are from Illyria.

And...

This Nymph... is from... Where are you from?

Britain, Lord.

Britain.

Speaking statues.

Yes, yes. And they do more than speak. They do...

- You prefer nymphs to satyrs? - I like both, Lord.

One needs both. Yes. To keep healthy.

Rome is a republic and you and I are playing citizens.

More confection.

That's it.

That's the best of my stallions.

Serve the state, Caligula, although the people in it are wicked beasts.

- But they love you, Lord. - Oh, no. No.

They fear me. And that is much better.

I had no choice, you see.

No choice.

No choice?

All I wanted was private life.

I did not truly want to become emperor,

but I had to.

Had to?

If someone else had become emperor,

I would have been killed.

As you will be.

Will be?

Will be gra... gr...

Will be, Grandfather?

Would be, if you were not my heir.

When Rome was just a city and we were...

just citizens, we're known to one another.

And we were frugal, good, disciplined and dignified.

The Romans I rule are not like we were.

They lust... they lust for power and pleasure.

Money... the wives of other men...

Oh, yes, I am a true moralist.

And stern as any Cato.

Faith chose me to govern swine in my old day...

which I have become a swine-herd.

The faithless boy. Has he drunk enough wine?

I think he's drunk enough, Lord.

So do I.

Now he is happy.

Homer. You would not know that?

You were educated in army caps only.

You will know enough to be a swine-herd.

Caesar? The Senate sends these documents for your signature.

Of course.

The revise list to candidates for the requested order.

I, Tiberius Caesar, command on the name...

of the Senate and the people of Rome.

Tax assessment, regime minor, Brescia and Gaul.

I, Tiberius Caesar, command on the name...

of the Senate and the people of Rome.

Senator guilty of treason.

Every senator believes himself to be a potential

Caesar, therefore every senator is guilty of treason.

In thought, if not indeed.

The Senate is the natural enemy of any Caesar, Little Boots.

Remember that.

Traitors. Look at them.

Traitors.

They offer to prove any law I made before I made it.

I said: 'What if I go mad? What then?'

No answer. They were born to be slaves,

Germanicus, never forget that.

I'm not Germanicus, Lord. I'm his son, Caligula.

Yes. And your friend is Macro.

- He serves you and only you, Lord. - And his wife is your friend, too.