Friends

Hey.

- What you guys doing? - Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.

Why are you guys upset? It's Old Yeller. It's a happy movie.

- What? - What are you talking about?

Come on. Happy family gets a dog.

Frontier fun!

Pheebs, what about the end?

Oh, when Yeller saves the family from the wolf and everyone's happy?

That's not the end.

Yeah-huh. That's when my mother would shut off the TV and say, "The end."

What about when he has rabies?

He doesn't have rabies. He has babies.

That's what my mom said.

Uh, Phoebe, I don't think she'd want you to see what's about to happen.

Why? What's about to happen?

I've never seen this part.

Hey, Travis, what you doing with that gun?

Oh, no.

No, no, Travis, put down the gun.

No, no, he's your buddy. He's your Yeller.

No! The end! The end!

Okay, what kind of a sick doggy snuff film is this?

Have you guys eaten? Uh, Richard and I just finished, and we've got leftovers.

Chicken and potatoes.

What am I wearing?

Actually, nothing but rubber gloves.

One of these times, you'll really be naked and we won't come over.

I got a leg, three breasts and a wing.

How do you find clothes that fit?

Oh, hey, Monica? We got a question.

All right, yes, I see other women in the shower at the gym.

And no, I don't look.

No, not that one.

We're figuring out who to bring to the Knicks game.

Ross can't go, so it's between my friend Eric Prower, who has breath issues...

...and Dan, with the poking. "Did you see that play?"

"You want more beer? Is that Spike Lee?"

Ha, ha, okay.

Why don't you ask Richard?

Uh, Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game...

...and you had to choose between a friend who smelled...

...and one who bruises you, who would you pick?

Wow.

Being a huge Knicks fan myself...

...I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.

Okay.

That's Eric.

Glad to be of help. Matches.

I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game?

Eh.

What?

- I don't know. - Come on!

He keeps his fingers to himself, and he's always minty fresh.

Richard's really nice. Uh, we just don't know him really well.

Plus, he's old...

er than some people.

But, uh, younger than some buildings.

So what, he's a little older. Big deal.

He's important to me.

If you ask him, he might take you in his Jag.

How do we say yes...

...and make it seem like it's not just to ride in the cool car?

Okay, this could be tough.

Okay, okay, okay. Monica?

We'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar.

Ooh, you almost had it.

No, no, you're fine. You're fine.

- Hello, ha, ha. - Hey.

Hi, honey. Oh.

You are not gonna believe what happened!

We were playing on the floor, and he grabs the table...

...and he pulls himself up!

He pulled himself up!

Standing man!

I'm sorry you missed it, but I did tape it if you wanna see it.

Uh, we know. He already did it last week.

You can watch our tape if you want.

Ah, see, I don't believe this. I missed the first time of everything.

The first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled.

What else? Has he spoken? Is he driving?

Does he have a favorite liqueur?

He is getting closer on the talking thing.

He can't quite say "mama" yet, but once he said "Yemen."

See, I don't know. I'm so sick of missing stuff.

I want him for more than a day. I want him for a whole weekend.

Listen. I feel...

That would be great.

Really? I had a whole speech prepared.

Oh, shoot, that would've been fun.

Oh, look, did you just see that?

Did you see? He just waved! He just waved!

He's never waved before!

Yes, he has. Very good.

- Hey. - Hey, Pheebs. What you got there?

Love Story, Brian's Song and Terms of Endearment.

Wow, all you need now is The Killing Fields...

...and some guacamole, and you got yourself a party!

I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident...

...and she said my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies...

...to shield us from the pain and sadness.

You know, before she killed herself.

- Hey. - Hey.

Where's Richard? Did you ditch him?

After we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie.

What's the matter with you? He's parking the car.

- Did you guys have fun? - Your boyfriend is so cool.

He let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12 blocks. Me for 15.

Wow.

He must like you best.

Oh, what about when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats?

You never even saw the money.

Hey, Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats.

Ha, ha, you're welcome. Hey, Joey, thanks for parking the car.

No problem, ha, ha.

- Hey, Chandler... - I think they get it.

There's the man!

Hey.

- Hey, you're getting better. - Huh? Ha, ha.

I'm gonna keep this.

Okay.

He kept my dollar.

Your first weekend without Ben. What are you doing?

Ah, we're going to colonial Williamsburg.

A woman I went to college with is the first female blacksmith there.

They're a little behind the times in colonial Williamsburg.

Ha, ha. Well, look, I better go before Mommy starts weeping.

We love you. - Bye, Mommy.

Have a good time.

Okay, Ben.

- Ross. - Yeah?

Look.

Joey, do you know we can see you from here?

How come Richard looks cooler with one of these?

You may wanna light it and lose the spatula.

It's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.

Not like him, per se.

Just not unlike him.

It's the artist formerly known as Chandler.

I'm just trying something here, you know?

Why didn't you grow a mustache?

Oh, we flipped for it.

I got the cigar, he got the mustache.

If we both grew them, we'd look like dorks.

You really sidestepped that land mine.

I promised Richard we'd meet downstairs.

You're meeting Richard?

- Ranger game. - Didn't he tell you?

He said he was going out with the guys. I didn't know that was you.

You hear that?

- We're the guys! - We're the guys!

With that mustache, he reminds me of Aunt Sylvia.

Thank you!

- Hi, we're visiting. - Yay.

It's Ben and his dada.

Dada.

- Can you say "dada"? - Aw.

I'm telling your mommies you said it, so you might as well.

- No luck, huh? - No.

A while ago, I got a "seh" out of him...

...which I thought might turn into "seh-condary caregiver," but...

Would you, uh, hold him for a sec? I gotta take this off.

- Oh, yeah, sure, okay. - There we go.

What are you doing?

I'm holding Ben.

Yeah, well, he's a baby, not a bomb.

Okay.

Hold him like you'd hold a football.

This is how I would hold a football.

Here. Here. There we go.

Sorry, I'm not very good with babies. I haven't been around them.

- I mean, you know, since I was one. - Ha, ha.

- It's all right. No big deal. - Really?

You'll feel different when it's our baby.

- What? - What?

You think about stuff like that?

Uh, yeah. I mean...

Actually, I kind of think that we'll have two babies.

Two babies?

You know, a boy and a girl.

Hopefully, the girl will come first, so Ben won't feel competitive.

Then what's gonna happen?

We won't wanna raise kids in the city, so we'll move to Scarsdale.

Scar... Uh-huh.

We'll be far enough from our parents so we don't have to see them...

...but close enough that they can babysit.

And yes, I know the taxes are a little higher than Nassau County...

...but the school system's great.

Wow! Ha, ha.

Wow, that's great! Great!

- Okay, wow! You know what? Hmm?

I'm off my break now. So, uh...

Um, here. You take this.

And, um...

I'm gonna go pour these very nice people some coffee.

Okay.

Look at that. I don't have a pot.

I don't have a pot. Maybe I've got one at home.

Or in Scarsdale. Hey, is that a door?

Rach.

- Hey. - Hey, Pheebs. What's happening?