Guinevere

These photographs of me were taken when I was 21 years old.

They were shot on Plus X with a 105-millimeter lens on an Nikon F-2,

developed normal, two stops overexposed.

I like this one a lot.

The F-2 was lost forever to a pawn shop in Los Angeles four years ago.

The photographer lived in San Francisco up until last week.

He was the worst man I ever met.

Or maybe the best. I'm still not sure.

If you're supposed to learn from your mistakes,

then he was the best mistake I ever made.

He was my most spectacular and cherished fuckup,

and I was his Guinevere,

whatever that means.

## Tell me ##

## Why you keep foolin' little coquette ##

## Makin' fun of the world ##

Harper, you look wonderful.

- Isn't your sister a beautiful bride? - She really is.

Now, did I hear correctly? Harvard law in the fall?

- That's right, yeah. - We have to talk. I'm an alum, you know.

Harper, congrats. I just heard about Harvard.

Our John's in law school there.

- Hey, weren't you engaged toJeremy? - ## Someday ##

- ## You'll fall in love like I fell in love with you ## - You were, weren't you?

## Maybe someone you love ##

## Will just be foolin' ##

## And when you're all alone ##

## With only regrets ##

## You'll find, little coquette ##

## I love you ##

- Sorry. - That's all right.

You gonna stop hiding in here anytime soon?

I'm not hiding.

Your father and sister have been upstairs forever.

- I cannot believe they'd pull this Oedipal crap today. - What do you want me to do?

We have 300 fucking guests here.

Just tell them to knock off the Greek tragedy and get their asses down here.

And I can't find the photographer. Find them.

Could you knock?

I did. Mom is freaking out down there.

Is she crying?

No, she feels fat.

Sue, you're not fat.

Oh. What's so funny?

It's nothing.

It's nothing.

I told them no one goes to Paris in August. Everything's closed.

But they're young and dumb. They don't care about the Musee Picasso anyway.

Excuse me. Well?

Yeah.

Excuse me. Have you seen the wedding photographer?

H-Have you seen the wedding photographer?

- Sorry. Canape? - Thank you.

Damn it.

Fuck you. Fuck you. It's my life.

Fuck you. Fuck you. I don't care.

- Fuck you -- - I know that song.

Ever try singing it really loud?

No.

You should do it sometime.

Opens up all kinds of possibilities.

Having trouble with that?

- My thumbs are too small. - Let me see.

Tiny.

There you go, Guinevere.

My name's Harper.

I'm Connie.

That's tricky with champagne.

Maybe you'd, uh, prefer a little of this?

I'm usually not much of a drinker.

No, neither am I.

You're the wedding photographer.

Today I'm a wedding photographer.

It's a transformation that only seems to occur when the rent is due.

Suddenly I find myself in a Pacific Heights mansion wearing a secondhand tux,

surrounded by women in chiffon.

Um...

maybe -- maybe this sounds rude --

- Would it be possible for you not to take my picture? - Why?

I don't like to be looked at.

It's a little late for that.

Good. Mrs. Sloane, could I ask you to move in slightly, please? Thank you.

Bride, turn your body slightly in for me.

Mm-hmm. A little more. That's great.

And can I ask the bridesmaid to move to her right?

Mm-hmm.

A little more.

Another inch.

Perfect.

Looking this way.-

Come on, smile.

One more.

Here we go.

Fine, I'll stop screaming.Just say something!

I've been talking to you for hours!

You're not talking! That's the point!

- You're breaking fucking plates! - I don't understand!

- You don't listen. - I'm listening!

Let's talk about this calmly.

Why do you always whisper? You always whisper!

- Does that make you smarter or something? - No, it means I'm holding back.

- You're a bastard! - Please don't hurt the photographs!

- Oh, I'm so sorry I fucked with the fucking photographs! - What are you doing? Please --

Damn you!

- I hate you. - No, you don't.

What we need to do is sit down and talk.

No. No!

Please. Please.

Hi.

You're incredible.

Uh, I just came to pick up the wedding --

Go in and wait. I'll be right back.

Sorry about that.

We work together, and she can be a bit unstable at times.

It's just that when people act irrational,

it always comes as a bit of a shock.

- Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. - Do ya?

- I really should come back another time. - No.

I'm glad you're here.

Let's have a drink. Hmm?

This is, uh --

This is beautiful.

Think that's a good one?

Yeah.

I mean, I'm not -- I'm not an expert.

- Which print is better? - You're asking me?

They look exactly the same. I mean, I wouldn't know how to tell.

Just go with your gut feeling. Like, boom -- That one.

No, no, no, I'm really not good at --

Take a beat, go away for a second and look back.

- That one. - That one?

- You sure? - No.

Absolutely not.

Well, maybe you're right.

Spent two days printing these, then I couldn't decide which ones to hang at my show.

- You've got a good eye. - Me? No.

My family, none of us can do anything except doodle on legal pads.

That's right. You're going to law school.

You heard.

- Have they cashed your tuition check yet? - No.

I mean, I don't think so. Why?

I don't think you really wanna go.

What makes you say --

- Oh, God! - Don't worry. I've got another bottle.

- I always fuck everything up. - Do you really?

That's wonderful.

I ruined your pictures.

This'll wash off. Don't worry about it.

You've actually improved this. It's never looked better.

- Look at that. It's extraordinary! - I'm really sorry.

That's great.

Look at Aunt Margaret. What a cow.

I look incredible there.

Hmm. That's odd. Harper, you're -- you're not here.

In any of these. Harper,you --

But you were there. You were right there.

Wait a minute.

Check this out.

Oh, my.

Let me see.

Uh --

It's a nice picture.

But he didn't even get your name right. Look on the back.

What was his place like?

Uh, it was just a place.

Mmm.

He told everyone he had the absolute right to exclusively license...

the design to their company.

- Of course he's clearly liable. - I disagree.

The statute explicitly requires intent to mislead.

Exactly. Which you could easily prove.

Dad's right.

Really, Susan? You agree with your father?

I'm shocked.

We're talking about the law. There's objective truth here.

It's not about choosing sides.

Thank you. I stand corrected.

Where do you stand, Harper?

Don't bother her. She's busy digging a hole in her bread.

- By the way, Harper, you'll never fit in there. - Well?

I really don't know.

- How does one get into Harvard without having opinions? - That's what they'll teach her.

- She'll come home with plenty of opinions. - I didn't.

I'm sorry, darling?

I didn't get in.

I-I was wait-listed. I thought I would clear the list.

Wow.

They said the list wasn't that long. I thought that --

I-I thought that, um --

I was sure --

I told my parents I didn't really get into Harvard.

But I did get in.

I just told them I didn't. I don't want to go.

I think that picture you took of me is just...

shocking.

Okay.

Bye.

Would you like to come in?

You can sleep here.

I usually print at night.