Amazing Stories

Will all the pumpkin girls please report to the stage.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we conclude this year's Yarborough Country Fair...

by announcing the winner of the Governor's Grand Prize...

Pumpkin Competition!

And this year...

extra prize money donated by the folks at Peploe Chick Feed...

will bring the winner a grand total of $2,000!

Now, since the governor couldn't be here,

I'd like to turn the mike over to the mayor of Yarborough,

Mayor Chester A. Barnsworth. Chet?

Thanks, Ernie.

Folks, it sure was tough to pick this year's winning pumpkin...

and not just 'cause the last event was the beer tasting.

Nah. Folks, I'm pleased to announce...

that the Governor's Prize...

of $2,000...

goes to--

- Mildred McMinamin! -

Come on up here, Mildred! Come on up!

Ohh.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, look!

Mmm... no!

It's a fix!

It's fixed! It's fixed! Let me through! Let me through here!

Out of my way! Everyone knows it's fixed! It's fixed! It's fixed!

- - My pumpkin!

Take your hands off me. Take your hands off me.

Elma Dinnock, what's the meaning of this?

Chester Barnsworth, for 21 years...

I've entered this infernal competition,

and not once-- not once have I ever won!

- And do you know why? Because it's fixed! - No, Elma.

Oh, no? Then explain this to me, Mr. Mayor.

The same sun shines on my pumpkin as shines on the winner.

I plant my pumpkin in the same county soil.

The same rain waters my pumpkin.

If it's not fixed, then why do I always lose?

I'll tell you why lose, Elma Dinnock!

- You lose because you are a selfish old witch! -

You may own half the county,

but you never give of yourself to anything or anyone.

And that includes your pumpkins!

- That's enough, Mildred. - Oh, no, Chester.

No one ever speaks frankly to Elma...

because her bank has foreclosed on so many these folks.

Well, it's time someone spoke up!

It's time you knew, Elma, why the others always win.

They win because they give of themselves.

Loving attention.

To be rewarded in life, Elma, one must give.

Whether you're raising vegetables or raising children.

Oh, of course.

You've never had that chance to give to a family.

I'm--

[ Adding Machine Clanks, Dings ]

Botheration. Never fails.

- - I hear ya. I hear ya.

- What do you want? - Uh, good day, madam.

I'm Bertram Carver, professor of Agricultural Science from the State University.

I have something you might be interested in.

Just as I thought, a salesman.

- Can't you read? - Uh, but, I'm not--

- - But you can win next year's pumpkin competition!

How's that again?

Well, talk, Professor. I get a penny apiece for these.

Every nine seconds I'm not stuffing I'm out a nickel.

Letting you in here cost me 30 cents.

- - I'm sorry, madam.

Well?

Well--

As I said, I'm a professor of Agricultural Science.

You've heard of my research to end hunger?

Are you aware, Miss Dinnock,

that one-fifth of the world's population is starving?

They're no concern of mine, sir.

Get to the point. Time is money.

Yes.

Well...

this... is my point.

A green bowling ball?

Not a bowling ball, Miss Dinnock.

This is gonna feed the world's hungry.

Here.

Taste it.

Taste it?

Go ahead.

- That's a pea. - To be exact,

Pisum sativum of the genus Lathyrus.

Or the common sweet pea.

- But it's so big. - Exactly!

My experiments in microbotany have been extremely successful.

But alas, madam, I've exhausted my grant.

I need funds to continue, and that's why I'm here.

I need, Miss Dinnock, just $10,000...

to complete my research.

And why should I lend you $10,000?

Oh, not lend me.

- Give. -

Give? You've taken enough of my time, sir. Get out of here. Out! Out!

- Get out! Out! Out! - In return...

I'll give you my growth formula...

to win the next pumpkin competition.

You're certain this is tax deductible?

Absolutely.

Yes. Well, Mr. Carver,

I would like to... give you $10,000,

but due to my financial situation, I can only...

give you half.

But I need 10,000.

Take it or leave it.

I'll take it.

Just as I thought.

You realize that if this is a sham, you'll be apprehended by the authorities...

and spend the rest of your miserable life in jail.

I assure, madam, it's authentic.

Follow these directions.

Good day, madam.

Tomorrow, Professor Carver, I'm calling the cops.

- -

- - [ Dog Barking In Distance ]

- -

??

Thank you. Thanks, Mildred.