Malcolm in the Middle

So, if Rex Huntington is the finest doctor

in Spring Valley, why is he defending Jessica

in the murder trial? - Because, before he got pushed

off the mountain and got amnesia

he was the finest lawyer in Spring Valley.

What I can't believe

is Jessica is having an affair with the judge.

I mean, he's totally using her

to get his hands on the Farnsworth fortune.

You can't ground me!

That fire could have been started by anybody!

Why don't you ever take my side? You never listen anything I say!

You know, Reese, some very manly men

watch soap operas With their mothers.

If you are diligent in your efforts

you will find that our spring project

will develop your fine motor skills

and powers of concentration.

Also, it will teach you a vocation that may, one day

lead you to a life of semi-independence.

Hello, class. - Hello, Principal Jeffers.

You've come at a very exciting time.

We're about to open a new box of key clips.

And how are we all today, students?

I know no one gives a crap about the kids in this class

but could you get us some books

so, we could actually learn something?

The only thing we've done here for the last 10 weeks

is make lanyards!

You know what subject I hated most when I was a kid?

Math.

Dewey, I need you to re-sort my pills again.

I just finished sorting them. It took me a half hour.

I know. But then I unsorted them

so, I could see if I could sort them by myself. I can't.

All right. Just don't touch them anymore.

I'll do it with you after school.

Dewey, I need your help after school.

I'm already helping Hansen. - But I need you!

The sidewalks told me they wouldn't let me

walk home anymore. - Can you..

Okay, just wait till I'm done, then I'll walk you home.

But, seriously, you guys have to start trying

to do a little more for yourselves.

Oh, that reminds me.

My uncle died, and my parents were wondering

if you'd explain death to me.

Are you studying?

Yeah. My stupid teachers wait until the end of my senior year

to tell me I have final exams. In every single class!

I've got to get serious now.

If the finals are anything like this practice test

it's gonna be brutal.

It's just a bunch of true/false questions.

So, it's a 50-50 chance.

Do you know what the odds are of getting one of those right?

$23 for the Neighborhood Association.

The annual meeting is tomorrow night.

It's been a year already? Those people are relentless.

You think, if we showed up once, they'd stop inviting us?

That's always been the pattern.

Well, don't worry. You have a good excuse.

Tomorrow you're cleaning the dead possum out of the chimney.

The smell has gotten so bad, I can't tell

when Jamie needs changing anymore.

You know, if we just wait a few more weeks

it'll disintegrate on its own. - Tomorrow, Hal.

I'm sick of all those crows on the roof.

Hey, Dad.

What? Wait. You think patriotism is a joke?

Representative government is an outdated sham?

I can't believe my ears! - What are you talking about?

What did he say? - I can't even repeat it.

I'm sorry, Lois, but the chimney will just have to wait.

I'm taking Malcolm

to the Neighborhood Association meeting.

Let's hope seeing democracy in action

will give our little cynic a wake-up call.

Chad, I have to finish correcting everyone's homework.

It's been in your mouth a half an hour.

Either spit it out or swallow it. - Dewey?

Oh, hey, Francis. You want to talk to Mom?

No. I called to talk to you.

Me? Really? - Yeah. Listen.

I'm up for a job as activities director

at a summer camp but I have to show them

what kind of program I can put together.

I need you to help me.

You want my help? - Yeah.

I have all these great ideas for games

so, I'm gonna come home tomorrow so, I can play them with you.

You know, to make sure they're fun enough.

So, how does that sound?

Like a setup for a cruel practical joke

but I'm willing to take the risk.

Excuse me.

We're here for the homeowners meeting.

Oh, my God! Really?

That's fantastic!

Jim Phipps. - Okay. - I'm the association's attorney.

So, where is everyone?

Well, I kind of am everyone.

No one's ever shown up for a home owners meeting

in 20 years.

You're kidding. Not one person?

Not one, not one.

I send out 150 flyers every year

exactly as mandated by the developer

but nobody ever comes.

I've tried different fonts, I've upgraded the doughnuts

but people just don't seem to be interested.

So, every year, you rent a room

and hold a meeting for nobody? - Well, absolutely.

My contract with the developer is very clear.

In exchange for a $2,000 annual retainer

I'm to conduct annual meetings, take the minutes

and manage the association's financial interests.

Financial interests? - Well, actually, there aren't any.

I, I didn't mean to come off so, self-important.

Only the homeowners can decide where the money goes

so, I've just been putting the dues in a savings account.

The bank gave me a toaster in 1987

I never even opened the box.

So, 150 homes paying 23 bucks over 20 years

passbook interest, minus the retainer..

Oh, my God! If my math is right

he's sitting on at least $83,000!

Who am I kidding? Of course my math is right.

You know, it sure would be nice to have someone

finally take charge of this thing.

Would you ever consider being President

of the Neighborhood Association?

I don't think so. It-It sounds like work.

Dad, what are you talking about?

Of course you wanna be President!

This is your chance to really do something for the community.

Well, I don't think.. - You can't turn this down.

You've always told me that a real citizen

is willing to make sacrifices for the greater good.

That doesn't sound like.. - And I took those words to heart!

They inspired me.

And now I have a chance to see my own dad

show me what democracy is all about.

You can't deny me that. - Well.. - It's not just for me.

It's for our family

our block, the whole neighborhood!

Think of all the people you could help.

The world is waiting for you to make it a better place!

Well, okay. I'll do it.

Finally!

This is exactly the reason I went into zoning law.

I don't see how this helps.

Where's Dewey? When I was his age, I was out of school hours ago.

Doing independent study at the library not smoking.

So, it's exciting about the job. - Yeah.

It's been a long hunt, but it finally paid off.

Don't you have to have some kind of degree or something

to work with children? - You never think anything

I ever do is good enough!

I happened to do very well at that interview.

All I have to do now is just show them

that I can put together a good program for the summer.

So, you don't have the job.

I have the job! What don't you understand about that?

I don't know. It just sounds like the real estate thing

all over again. - Why can't you just have faith in me for once?

Gin.

You want to play again? - Sure.

You know who's hiring? - I have a job!

I am appalled.

This completion stitch is kinked.

Young lady, if you neglect your education

you deny yourself the keys to success.

Dewey, wait! - I can't.

I have to get home to see my brother.

But I need you to help me

with the algebra problems you gave me.

I went over those problems 20 times!

But my head passed through a magnet

and I think I forgot everything.

I'm sorry! I can't!

I can't do this anymore.

I'm sorry.

It's okay, Dewey. We understand.

Yeah. Go have fun with your brother.

We'll be fine.

Everyone turn in their assignments.

I have to take this one home with me.

It doesn't believe that I have a cat.

It is 3 o'clock.

It is now time to clear your area!

I don't think you want to do anything physical with Chad.

Do not test me, young man.

I am an educator who is not afraid to use discipline.

All right.

Now it's a matter for the police.

Dewey! What do we do? - He's not here.

Somebody do something!

Excuse me, Mr. Flerch?

Well, I think, of the three ideas we had