The Magicians

Previously on "The Magicians"...

- What are we going to do? - We gotta kill the Dark King.

Fillory can never be free so long as the Dark King reigns.

Surprised?

You must stop this, whatever the cost.

Well, the cost is blowing up the entire planet,

- which is... - A decent option?

So you're saying we can use the Ark, rescue the people,

blow up Fillory, and stop the Dark King?

Do these fiends, do they succeed in stealing the people

and building a new world for them?

I made no mention of a new world.

It is you.

You and your friends are the invading force.

What about the World Seed from Q's page?

If we could find it, we could use it to build a new world,

a new Fillory.

We're looking for The Couple.

If it was anything else...

They have something we need.

The World Seed,

the most valuable object in the multiverse,

which is why I wanted to steal it.

We spent months constructing a map.

We called it our heist book.

Here.

Is that Gavin from the Library?

- What happened to you? - Marina hired me to rob The Couple.

She didn't tell us that the plan was suicidal

without the Harmonic Convergence.

You twats stopped the convergence,

there wasn't enough magic,

Marina sent us in anyway.

Give me the page.

Okay, you win.

Oh, it's yours. It's yours.

Bottling our emotions.

Literally.

This must be what undergoing

the Vulcan Ritual of Kolinahr is like.

I like your sweater.

- Are you saying that to be cruel? - No.

I saw no reason not to share.

I based my whole outfit around that bottle!

Ow.

God, shut up.

What's happening to you

looks just like what happened to my mom.

And the episodes didn't stop when I was born.

They got worse.

The Circumstances Control Panel?

I figured if The Couple is going to use the World Seed,

they need clean magic, so without this, they are stuck.

The Couple just got the last thing they need.

They have the seed, the page, and the panel.

We got to tell the others.

They need to steal that seed now.

Okay, guys, this is a horrible story.

I really hate telling it, and I'm only gonna say it once.

The Nave Hotel.

Current home of The Couple for two reasons.

One, the house rules.

Per a jamming spell, you can't do any battle magic,

wards prevent traveling in and out, cell phones don't work,

and if you're caught with any kind of weapon

or engage in any sort of physical beef

or try to scam the hotel or any of its guests...

Bye-bye.

Idea being the Nave

is the magical world's number one safe space,

which is strictly enforced by the bellhops.

Arguing is allowed.

Physical altercation is not.

The creepy dicks are golems

who've been enchanted to be empaths.

Good-bye, ladies.

They have to see you.

But if they can

and you radiate the kind of micro-aggressions they sense,

you get the boot.

Or worse.

We were up to some major no good, so we steered clear.

In the basement, reason two The Couple settled at the Nave:

the vault.

Famously impenetrable.

Except, I thought, vulnerable

during the Harmonic Convergence

which you fucked into a cocked hat.

Hence the safe crack was slow going.

But punching a hole in the anti-traveler wards

was right on sched.

Meanwhile, I was running it all from a safe distance.

Or trying to.

That place has some killer protections

against magical spyware.

Marina, Marina. Looks like I'm in.

Whew, crikey, it is dick-shrivel cold in here.

Long story. Unbearable.

There was no World Seed in the vault.

And then, because the vault

took so long to crack without the Harmonic Convergence...

It all went horribly pear-shaped.

And we know what that meant for poor Gavin.

So boosting anything

from that hotel without the Harmonic Convergence

is a shit show.

What makes you ducklings think you can do any better?

Well, for one thing, you had bad information.

Remind me who in the Disney Princess fuck you are?

She's someone who can read this.

It turns out it's a form of Fillorian

used in ember worship.

I really should have recognized it.

So according to the page, the World Seed can only live

when the temperature is 99 degrees with 99% humidity.

And the vault was freezing.

There's no way The Couple would keep it there.

- It would die. - This is so you guys.

Top info.

Too late.

Wrong, 'cause now we know where the seed isn't.

- So us guys are doing this. - Yep.

No.

Look, I get this is hard, okay, but we...

- Julia, no. - ... have to do everything we can

in our power to make sure that

our child has a better mother than you did.

- He already does. - She might.

If we can find out what happens to traveler moms.

And the only one that we can talk to is yours.

I don't even know where she is.

I do. Connecticut,

according to the locator spell.

Okay, you realize that you are getting more intense

every day and impossible to argue with

and it is kind of scary.

Hormones, dude. Enjoy the ride.

So I lensed the outside of the hotel,

and this room is 30 degrees hotter than all the others.

It's got to be where The Couple has the World Seed stashed.

Also there's someone in there,

probably a guard.

Brava, but stealing the seed

means taking it out of that hot house.

How do you transport it without killing it?

- Well, you tell me. - Well, I don't know.

But The Couple did.

- Magnus Dellacorte. - Top hedge, west coast.

Best friends George and Paloma Ball.

The Balls.

Explains why they go by The Couple.

Magnus lost two things

the night of his 53rd birthday party.

His life, to a coronary; and the World Seed,

both courtesy of The Couple

who aren't such good friends, but badass bandits.

But how did they get the seed out?

Five minutes in the open air and it's dead.

Paloma's wearing couture.

Maybe they kept it warm with their white-hot taste.

Except that bag.

It's a Birkin knockoff.

And a shit one.

Really? It looks kind of fancy.

To you, which is why you're so adorable.

Maybe the bag is homemade.

- Some kind of... - Incubator they cooked up.

To keep the seed toasty.

Yeah.

Good job, class.

- Mm-hmm. - Couple's suite.

We make sure they aren't there, we break in,

find the incubator bag,

which'll definitely be on-site,

because Paloma would never wear it

unless it was to steal the seed.

Might be criminal Tiffany's, but it's fashion Walmart.

We go to temperature control.

We crank the seed room down to freezing.

The guard freaks out.

Cell phones don't work in the Nave,

so he has to call The Couple on the landline, which is dead...

Because I cut it.

He goes full pant-shit, has to find The Couple.

- Opens the seed room door... - Runs out.

We're right there with the homemade hot pocket,

we drop the seed in and jet.

- Then the guard will see you. - Three against one.

- Bellhops? - We pull the fire alarm,

blend into the emotional pandemonium, exit.

With a nod to "Fantastic Beasts."

One problem. What's happening in the basement

needs to be timed

to the second with what's happening in the seed room.

Take too long and the seed will freeze to death.

And with all communications jammed,

how's each team supposed to know what to do and when?

Well, there's the conductor spell.

Created by a conductor who was going blind.

So he and his orchestra could still communicate.