My First Girlfriend Is a Gal (はじめてのギャル)

You're gross.

It's a new semester,

and that means a chance to meet new people.

Let's go to the amusement park Saturday morning.

Sure, and I'll show you my log ride Saturday night.

Did you hear it's couples-only night

at the movie theater?

You are gonna get so felt up.

And meeting new people means more chances

with the opposite sex, which hopefully leads to finding love.

Unless your me.

And then, there's my loser friends.

Hey, guys.

Looks like we're all in the same class again this year.

Shinpei. Keigo. Minoru.

Hey. What's up?

Hey, Junichi.

You're looking good, Junichi.

No way. For real?

I hope they all get VD.

We've been back at school for, like, a minute

and everyone's already humping like rabbits.

This is a place for learning! Not sucking face!

Did you guys do anything interesting over the break?

You bet, lots of sex and drugs.

I watched anime.

I need to meet a nice elementary school girl.

Minoru, you should get professional help

before you're arrested.

Hey, don't judge us!

It's not like you did anything!

I didn't say I did!

That's right.

Losers likes us, we don't change over just one break.

How'd I end up like this?

I thought once I got to high school,

I'd get a girlfriend, no problem.

But now I'm a sophomore and I'm still a virgin!

Mm!

I can't keep going on like this!

Junichi?

Oh. Hey, Nene. It's you.

'Sup?

Here! You forgot your lunch. Your mom had me bring it.

Oh, nice. Thank's so much, Nene.

Junichi, you've become such a weirdo, lately.

How could you forget lunch on the first day of school?

What? How'm I weird?

At least I'm not the one who's in high school,

walking around in the body of a little kid.

Oh?

C'mon, haven't you noticed I've developed

in at least a couple big areas?

Look, Nene, you're nice, but I'm just not into you.

Little girls don't rev my engine, they stall it out!

Now would ya please just go back to your own classroom?

I went outta my way to bring you your stupid lunch!

Ungrateful. Kiss my eye!

Who says that?

Well, I never knew that Junichi Hashiba's a dirty old man.

Why didn't you introduce us to your friend?

And give us the low-down on those milk bags!

Tell me what elementary school she goes to!

Enough!

Stop saying gross things about Nene!

I've known her since we were little kids growing up

in the same neighborhood.

You ever play doctor?

Oh, come on, guys.

I think of her more as like a bratty little sister.

Then if she's not taken, introduce us!

Guys, settle down!

You're really okay that she still looks like a kid?

It's better that way!

No! Stop it!

You guys, I'm too young to do

whatever it is you want me to do!

Now that's what I call sexy!

I'm pretty sure the police would disagree.

Oh, sweet Junichi. You sad fool.

How can you even call yourself a man?

Go on, boys, tell him how we feel!

I love her innocent smile,

with just a hint of mischievousness!

And she's so tiny, too!

Like she walked off the pages of a Loli manga!

But most importantly,

those two, huge sweater cannons.

Looking at her, one can only conclude that God...

...has sent us Loli perfection

to satisfy our manly urges!

I can't believe you guys say this stuff in public.

And at school, no less!

So hot.

Hey, you!

Junichi. It looks like we're in the same class again.

Oh, hey. Good morning, Yui. What's goin' on?

Wow. Another semester.

Yeah, it's never gonna freakin' end, is it?

Well, I'm always happy to have another friend in my classes.

Uh, yeah. That's right.

Cool!

I feel like we didn't really talk much last year,

so I'm hoping this time around,

we have the chance to become super close.

Uh! You mean close with me?

Hey, Yui!

Oh, I'd love to talk more, but I gotta go.

I'll see ya later, okay?

Have a wonderful day, cutie!

Yui Kashii, huh?

Polite, great grades, beautiful.

It's like she's walked right out of a high school anime.

Though, if I'm nit-picking,

her itty-bitty-titties are a bummer.

Shut up! What if she hears us?

You can't just go through life with boobs always on your brain!

And breast-size alone does not determine

whether a girl's worthwhile or not!

I hate to say it.

Junichi does have a point here, Shinpei.

Whether Yui's got big or small knockers, she's a "Tokyo Eight."

It's that good girl vibe she gives off

that makes her so hot.

Yeah, because underneath that glossy exterior,

the good girls are always the biggest perverts!

At this point, you might as well

put your pictures in the dictionary next to "virgin."

Yeah, well, you'd be right there with us!

Why is it so hard for girls to give us their bodies?

I just want one I can feel up all the time. Is that wrong?

Yeah, I know what ya mean.

Hey! You can't read porno mags in class!

Do you want people thinking you're bigger creeps

than you already are?

This is why you can't get laid!

Shut up! And don't try to take away our only pleasure.

Besides, this porno ruins the mood for everyone else.

Which makes us feel in control over the sluts and jocks!

Ugh.

I'll never get laid as long as I hang out with them.

Here.

C'mon, I know you wanna look.

What? No, I'm fine. Thanks.

You sure? This one's pretty hot.

Well, okay, if you insist.

I guess it can't hurt, right? It's not normally my thing.

Hey, what are you doing?

Just reading about women's health, that's all.

Maybe you haven't noticed, but we're at school.

Why can't you and the other sweat brothers

white wash your palms at home like normal perverts?

You disgust me.

Uh. I'm sorry. Forgive me.

Hmph.

Oh, Yukana!

Having a good morning?

Uh, far from it!

Did you see my little run in with those hard-up losers?

They're reading porn in class!

No wonder they sit in the corner.

I know. They're all sick.

Who the hell does that?

Why're girls so cruel?

That was awesome.

Yukana Yame. She's hot!

If she lifted her leg just a little higher,

we would have seen a lot more!

She's a little too old for me,

but I definitely see what the big deal is!

Well, between me, Keigo, and Junichi,

one of us should go after her.

I bet she's easy. Craves that D!

No, no, no! That's not happening!

You guys are delusional!

Besides, she already hates me

because of you and your stupid magazine.

Huh? You're missin' the point!

It doesn't matter what she thinks of you,

gals like her sleep around!

C'mon, it's basic science!

What evidence do you even have for that?

Right here, bro!

It's all written down in the "Bible."

Take this letter.

It's from a hottie freshman named Motoyama Mei-Kun,

gotta be a fake name, who's a freshman in Shibuya.

"My boy and I were chilling on the roof

when out of nowhere he starts kissing me!

I didn't know what to do at first,

but when he grabbed my boobs

and pushed me against the wall, my panties flooded!

He took me from behind, like a dog,

in front of the whole school.

Tee-hee. Tee-hee-hee."

There's no way that's real.

I refuse to believe the average teenage girl

secretly acts like a porn star!

Uh, Miss Yame.

Why are you getting on top of me?