Jennifer Falls

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Stop, stop, stop, stop,

stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!

Stop! Hey! Stop!

Please, don't take my car.

I know I missed a few payments.

You missed six, lady.

Okay, I was ballparking.

Look, please don't do this to me.

I lost my job as an investment banker.

I have been blackballed from the industry.

I'm practically broke and living with my mom.

This car is the only good thing I have left in the world.

Aside from my daughter, of course.

Tell you what, you chase me for another block in that bra,

and... I'll let you get the crap out of the console.

What?

Deal.

Hey, Mom.

I'm sorry.

It's just so disheartening to see my little M.B.A.

Working in a seedy dive bar.

Mom, I own this seedy dive bar.

Oh, stop it, Wayne.

I'm proud of you, too.

You've totally exceeded my expectations.

- Thanks, Mom. - Hey, Maggie.

You here for bottomless boilermaker night?

Tempting, but there's something I need

to talk to Wayne about.

Just a little something between mother and son.

It's time you and Stephanie had a baby.

What?

I had a health scare last week.

Everything's fine, but I didn't want to die

without meeting my son's child.

Oh, Mom.

Well, Stephanie and I have talked about it,

but we both feel we're not really ready yet.

I respect that. I do.

But you really are. Look at your hairline.

Ticktock, sweetie.

You're not still wearing that tight underwear, are you?

Too much body heat kills your little swimmers.

Mom, this is really none of your business.

I just want to be an involved grandparent.

Not in the conception.

Apparently, this is something very personal to you.

I'll stay out of it.

- Hi. - Hey.

You want to go bowling Thursday night?

Wow. I haven't been bowling with you since grad night.

But what the hell? Why not?

All right. And I have a coupon.

Free shoe rental.

Well, look at you, Connie Coupon.

What, what?

Oh, wow. It's my membership card to Paradisa.

I thought I tossed this.

That obnoxious health club?

I hate delivering there.

I asked 'em if I could use their bathroom once.

They told me they didn't have one.

That whole place is a bathroom.

I know. I mean, I hate it too.

I mean, obviously I only joined it because

my old job wanted me to, you know, to "network."

- You hate it? - Yeah.

- Really? - Are you kidding?

I mean, look, they pump the place full of eucalyptus

mist, because God forbid anybody breathe just plain air

while they're in there.

You know, I have almost a year left on this membership.

I wonder if I could get some of that money back.

Is it really worth the hassle?

How much is an annual membership?

I mean, it's like almost 6.

Hundred? That's insane.

Thousand.

What?

- Hi. - Hi.

Um, I need to cancel my membership.

- No problem. - Great.

Uh, so how do you want to handle the refund?

Check or cash? Cash works.

Oh, we don't do that.

But see the thing is is I've only been here,

like, once or twice in the last two years,

which means I paid, like, $3,000 a visit, you know?

That does seem a little pricey.

I know, right?

So, look, why don't we just say $2,000?

That's a nice, even number, and everybody's happy.

Sorry, we don't negotiate.

But you can help yourself to some fresh berries.

We have kiwi medley today.

You would've been proud of me, Danny.

She tried to push me into something,

and I backed her down.

I beat my mom.

I've never felt like more of a man.

Yeah, that's a real growth moment there, Wayne.

The truth is, Stephanie never would've agreed

to having a kid right now.

She's got a five-year plan for our future

that's scheduled to the minute.

Wayne, your mother and I have been talking,

and we've come to a decision.

We're going to make a baby.

Awesome.

Oh, my God. Jennifer.

Francine, Carrie.

I can't believe this.

You know, we all miss you so much at the office.

How have you been, since you... lost your job?

Someone said that you were living with your mom.

What?

And working at a bar?

That's crazy.

Ugh.

God, where do these rumors even get started?

Um, the truth is my life is fantastic.

It's never been better.

Oh, that is so good to hear.

I just... I couldn't bear the thought of Jennifer Doyle

living in the middle of nowhere, slogging beers.

Yeah. If it ever comes to that, kill me.

Deal.

So things are good?

Oh, fabulous.

I mean, I've just been enjoying life, you know?

- Oh. - Painting

and yoga, long walks.

You know, just overall mindfulness.

- Mindfulness, yeah. - Yeah.

I'm so doing that next summer.

Mm.

Or Italy.

Well, we got to get dinner and catch up.

How 'bout Luna's?

Oh, God, I love Luna's.

Next Thursday?

Um, perfect. That'll be great.

- Hey. - Hey.

Do you want to go to dinner Thursday before we go bowling?

We could go to Pepe's.

Ah, Pepe's. The edible sombrero.

The killer mango-rita.

Hell yeah.

Ooh, wait, Thursday?

What, did you forget?

No. God, are you kidding? Don't be ridiculous.

It was my idea. I just thought that, you know,

we'd eat dinner after.

And I'm gonna be a little bit late for bowling

because my old neighbor isn't feeling well.

So I told her that I would, you know,

stop in and check up on her.

- Mrs. Chambers? - On the other side.

- Mrs. Robinson? - Two doors down.

Is she the one that has...

She's new to... To the neighborhood.

Look, I'm excited to have kids whenever,

but I thought you wanted to wait.

I did, but then your mother started talking about

how we're not a complete family yet.

And then she told me that your sperm's getting really old.

And I don't want to have a baby

that's made out of old sperm.

Okay, if... if you're up for it, I'm up for it.

Let's just keep my mom out of this.

I don't mean to be intrusive.

I just stopped by to drop off a little gift for you guys.

Boxer shorts for Wayne,

and an ovulation kit for Stephanie.

This is going to be fun.

So for the ride home, do you have anything around

9:15, 9:30-ish?

Okay, I got this.

If I order smart, I'll be fine.

You know what? Everything looks so good.

Let's just get a bunch of plates and share.

Yes. Seafood tower, extra lobster tails.

- Mm-hmm. - And the sustainable caviar.

And we have to have champagne.

Absolutely.

Yeah. Let's drink.

Let's drink a lot. Let's get drunk.

So do you miss being in the game?

Sometimes.

Um, but, you know, not the money so much.

It... it's more the art of the deal.

Ooh, yeah.

But the money's pretty good. Am I right, ladies?

Uh, holla!

- More champagne. - Whoo.

- It's go time. - But the bar is packed.

Honey, the stick says now.

Do you want to argue with the stick?

No, I...