I Declare War

stay down.

Did you see anyone?

Go.

Down, down! I need a grenade!

One steamboat, two steamboats...

Three steamboats... where are you guys?

Four steamboats...

Five steamboats, six steamboats,

Seven steamboats...

I need a fuckin' grenade!

Nine steamboats...

Ten steamboats!

No, it's yours.

( Explosion sound echoes )

You're dead.

Kenney, have you killed

No. Any of ours

No. I just saw joker.

What about them? We know scott's dead.

Yeah, who else?

Then we'll assume they're all alive.

I need to know where quinn's base is.

You two, go on recon.

Check everywhere we've used before.

Fuck that. We can find out

Ow! Hey!

Where's your base? Screw off!

You can't interrogate the dead!

Leave him alone. What?

He's right. Once you're dead,

You can't be interrogated.

Fuck the rules. It's too hot for rules.

I'm not a cheater. Go home, scott.

I'm going to win fair and square.

You're going to lose fair and square.

Dude, this is p.K. He doesn't lose.

Lose what? His virginity?

I heard he lost it to your mom.

What did you say, ass-Face?

Stop it, now!

I want a tactical strategy assimilation

Now, go!

So, where the hell were you when i was

Kenney was there.

You didn't know he was there.

Sure i did. Okay, yeah, well--

You still sent me out there to get shot,

To get scott to come out?

Only because i knew kenney was there and

Don't worry, paul. We're a team.

What are you doing after the war?

You're coming over, and we're eating pizza

What movie?

Patton?

Again? Yes.

Now get out there so i can win this war.

P.K.'S your best friend, right?

He's kind of an asshole.

No, he's not. With all his

Oh, you think it's a coincidence

That he's won every single game of war

C'mon, just follow your orders.

Find the base, then go back to p.K.?

That's the stupidest thing i've ever heard.

If we find the base, let's just kill everyone

Shut up!

You think quinn doesn't have a plan?

He's been planning this war

Against p.K. For months now.

And you're gonna screw it all up.

You're such a bitch right now.

You're p.K.'S bitch. I'm nobody's bitch.

I'm gonna march right into their base,

Stick my gun right in quinn's stupid face,

Blow his head off, shoot everyone else,

Grab the flag-- Aah!

Skinner.

Well, if it isn't some of p.K.'S little soldiers...

And the general's best friend.

We rule.

ow!

Grab his gun. What?

You can't do that.

Why? You gonna tell

Kick him again, sikorski.

Aagh!

Grab him.

A girl.

You're a girl. Sorry.

I can help, though.

Sure.

You can be the arts and crafts squadron.

Since when do girls even like war?

Actually, this is my first war.

God...

I dunno. I can appreciate war.

Strategy, tactics, stuff like that.

Like chess.

You play chess?

Yeah, i play a lot of chess.

Huh. Yeah, me too.

Hm. That's funny.

But don't get me wrong. I'm serious.

I'll kill people. I have killing

Like what?

Just, you know...

Techniques.

Okay.

Let me show you something.

Cool.

Look at this.

Oh, you're kidding.

Nope.

Did you build that? Yeah.

I mean, i got the idea off the internet,

You get it, right? What it's for?

A bomb.

A bomb.

That's the bomb.

yeah.

Unfortunately, it can only carry the weight

What if you broke the amount of paint up

Or five? Thought of that.

But then the balloons aren't heavy enough

To break open when they land on someone.

What if you didn't tie them closed?

Yeah.

Just push the hook through the rubber,

And then when it retracts,

They get pushed off the hook and fall.

That's awesome.

That's really great.

Sorry about the arts and crafts thing before.

It's okay. Sorry about

When did you call me an asshole?

I didn't. But i was thinking it.

We have to be ready for anything.

He could sap us.

What does that mean?

Dig a tunnel right under our position,

A hand sticks out of the ground and smashes

You're dead.

This is the first guy i've fought who...

Who actually knows this stuff.

He's using tactics, he's using strategy.

In a way, this is the first real war

Which is why i have to win it.

But you always win.

This is different.

This is the moment of truth.

A real test of what i'm good at.

You mean, being a know-It-All dick?

No, he means war.

Hey! You get picked last,

You don't talk back to superior officers.

What the fuck are you wearing?

It's a bandolier. For shotgun shells.

For your toy air rifle?

Back off, joker.

He's our priest.

Our priest? That's right.

Every unit needs a priest.

To write letters home for the men who have

Does he jerk them off, too?

Hey! We need to be

Besides, these are against the rules,

I wasn't using it to call anybody.

You can have it back after the war.

What are you doing?

Kenney: sullivan!

Whoa.

You can't be here.

Ah, fuck your rules, p.K.

Look what they did to me.

You think they give a shit about

I'm here to talk to joker.

Fine. But only about their

What happened? Skinner.

He took kwon prisoner,

And then that bitch sikorski kicked

He took kwon prisoner?

I want you to find them and i want you to stomp

Yeah. Definitely.

Skinner? Yes.

Didn't know he had it in him.

You don't know a lot of things.

Uh... kenney.

Thanks.

You'll get a special citation

Screw off.

We have to move fast.

Quinn's not going to go for a prisoner.

He'll kill kwon as soon as skinner brings him in.

Which is why we have to get to him before

Joker, get me caleb. Caleb?

He doesn't even carry a weapon.

Caleb is a weapon. Take wesley.

I'll stay here and guard the flag.

Okay?

Okay?