The Running Man

The good die young.

I think we can find some consolation in that,

when we think of our late friend Rex Black,

for whose memorial service we are gathered here today.

Flying was Rex's religion.

I saw him often from my study window,

driving to the airport in his little open car.

Too fast, perhaps, occasionally.

And I thought, "That young man has everything.

"Youth, enthusiasm, the work he loves,

"the devotion and comfort of a Christian marriage."

I'm afraid I'm a rotten hostess.

- Rex would be pouring you all drinks. - Not for me, Stella.

"Well, my old darlings, happy landings." Remember?

You've said it every evening when he came into the Airmen's Arms.

You all laughed at me, but I knew that day something awful was going to happen.

- I knew it when I woke up. - Here, take this.

We'd just been to Brighton. I went there to get my hand read.

Rex laughed when I told him about that.

"Expect a great sadness," that's what my hand had in it.

- What is that, Doctor? - You'll sleep well.

There are ways and ways of telling us about the future.

Those gliders of yours are dangerous things with no engines.

Stands to reason you can't control them with no engines.

- Had he been gliding long? - No.

No, but he said it was wonderful.

I don't know, I never went up with him.

- Well, goodbye, darling. - Goodbye.

- Hope you don't go back to America. - Oh, no, I can't leave here.

You ought to get away, get away to the sea air.

The old man's right, Stella. Go to Brighton. Get your hand read!

Who knows, you might find a handsome millionaire waiting for you.

- Bye, Stella. - Goodbye.

- Thank you all for coming. - I'll see them out.

I thought only generals and poets and things had a memorial service.

But then, old Rex always did things in style.

I'll push off, Stella.

Beautiful service, wasn't it?

Oh, yes, and I thought the vicar did it very well.

- How is she off financially? - Oh, Rex was well insured.

- Anyone coming to the Airmen's Arms? - Now, there's a good idea!

Oh!

Oh!

- Oh, I nearly died! - I promised you, didn't I?

Three months dead and I said I'd be right back after the service.

- And Rex, nothing went wrong. - No?

- Did they give me a good character? - No, no, they said, er...

They said you weren't good in a conventional way and you drove too fast.

They said that, did they?

I'm not going to all the trouble of dying just to be told that.

- Oh, I've been so lonely. - So have I, darling.

I can't tell you how dreary it was living in a boarding house by the sea,

never daring to go out during the day, living on pies and chips...

Oh, you got a new nice lampshade.

- And being Mr. Erskine. - Who's Mr. Erskine?

Well, I was.

An unsuccessful shoe salesman, suffering from a nervous breakdown.

Oh, my poor darling.

- I hope to do better next time you see me. - Yes, love.

Oh, Stella, you look so wonderful.

And I'm so happy to be back home again.

You know, I got to hate that Mr. Erskine.

Well, he hardly had any money and no sex life at all.

- Honestly? - Mm-mm.

- He was getting very nervous. - You know, I was getting nervous, too.

- Are you expecting anyone? - No.

- Who is it? - I don't know.

Don't let us bother about him now.

- Mrs. Black? - The flat upstairs.

Oh, thank you.

Stay here. I'll go.

- Mrs. Black? - Yes.

I'm from the Excelsior Insurance Company.

May I have a few words with you?

Oh... Er...

Well, I hope it's a convenient moment, Mrs. Black.

- If you've someone here... - No, no, no.

There's no one here at all. Come in.

I'm afraid it's not very tidy.

I had a few people here after the service.

- The service? - Er... for Rex, my husband.

Oh, I didn't know. Perhaps I ought to leave you.

No, no, I'd just as soon get it over. Please sit down.

The head office thought it might be as well if we had a little personal chat.

Oh, they did?

Not that they're worried about anything in particular,

but this isn't the usual type of claim, I'm sure you appreciate that.

- No, I suppose not. - Not exactly... run-of-the-mill.

Shall we put it that way?

If you like.

I mean, they never actually found the body, did they?

No.

The coastguard says he had the glider under observation

before it actually hit the sea, and that it broke up very soon afterwards.

Now, presumably, the body was washed away.

- But you've heard all this before. - Yes, I know it by heart.

You can't think of any reason why he should want to end his life?

Rex? No. He loved life, you could ask anyone.

I see there was an earlier claim on an insurance

for a Dove aeroplane that your husband took out for charter flying.

- That was last year. - Yes.

The plane was written off totally.

Does that mean he was out of a job?

Well, in a way, yes.

Did you find him moody, difficult to live with?

I'm sorry, I have to ask you this.

Oh, no, no. He was quite happy. He began to write books.

Oh...

What sort of things? Thrillers?

- Yes, as a matter of fact. - Well, there's money in that, I suppose.

Oh, Rex never made much money while he was alive.

- Er... would you sign this? - What is it?

Just a simple declaration, that to your knowledge,

your husband never said anything to you about suicide.

Oh, I can sign that.

I see this insurance was made

only three months before your husband was lost.

Does that matter?

No, no, I just meant it was lucky.

Lucky?

I mean, you're young, you'll be very well off.

You have a new life ahead of you, Mrs. Black.

Well, if you don't think I'd...

I'd give every penny of that insurance to have him back.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.

Er... Mr. Maddox, how long will all this take?

I, er... I want to go abroad.

I want to go away from this flat and everyone we knew.

Well, there shouldn't be any delays from us.

- Oh, my hat. Where did I put it? - Oh, it's in here.

Thank you.

When you go abroad, Mrs. Black, have you thought of going far?

- No, I haven't made any plans. - No, well, er...

I don't suppose you've had a chance to, have you?

Goodnight.

Stella! Stella! Here, come on, let's celebrate.

Rex... that man... was from the insurance company.

Yes, I know, I know. Just routine.

But he said you took out the insurance just three months before the accident.

Well, what about it?

Well, he said it was lucky.

Well, of course we're lucky. We're just terribly lucky.

But after he said it, he looked... I don't know... sort of guilty.

And so he should.

All insurance men should look guilty and haunted by ghosts.

Now, darling, there's nothing to worry about.

- He said it was all fixed, didn't he? - Yeah. I guess he did.

Well, we did it.

We finally made them pay.

What is it, Stella?

I don't know, I'm just so sleepy.

Doctor gave me something to sleep.

Then that awful service, just as if you were really dead.

And all those questions I didn't know how to answer.

You know, darling, I loved it when you said,

"I'll give every penny of that miserable insurance to have him back."

It nearly brought tears to my eyes in the kitchen.

He asked so many questions about insurance on the plane, I got so frightened.

- Now, darling, there's no need to worry. - Oh...

Please don't worry.

Oh, Rex...

Oh... it's crazy, isn't it, what we are doing? It's just crazy.

No, it isn't crazy at all.

We're only getting what they owe us, what they really owe us for that old Dove.

I'm sorry, darling, I'm so sleepy. That silly doctor...

But, Stella... Stella, no...

Please don't. Not now, not tonight.

I'm leaving in a few hours.

I got to get up the first thing in the morning.

Stella? Stella, wake up.

Stella?

You won't make much out of this cargo.

Oh, just trundling a load of foundation garments to the women of Hamburg.

Apart from a million pounds worth of dope stuck in the cleavage of those bras!

You know, in a one-man operation, you gotta take what you can get.

- Right, here's the clearance. - Thank you.

- Everything all right, Sam? - Fine.

- Bye, darling. See you for dinner. - Uh-huh.

Hello, Hamburg?

Hamburg, I've been trying to get you for the last 10 minutes.

Hello. Hello, is that you, Hamburg?

'Insurance... I tell you, it's a wonderful thing.'

I mean, you have a crash, a disaster, something like that,

and you're better off than you were before.

A new aeroplane! I always thought we could do with something bigger than that Dove.

I'll tell you, it pays to crash. It literally pays to crash.

- Don't make a habit of it, will you? - He'll see you now, Mr. Black.

Oh, thank you.

- Mr. Black? - Yes. This is my wife.

- How do you do? Please take a seat. - Thank you.

- Do you smoke? - No, no, thank you.

If we are going to take 20,000 off Excelsior, at least I needn't pinch their cigarettes.

Now, Mr. Jenkins, the reason I wanted to see you so quickly was...

I mean, without that form-filling and all that jazz...

We wanted to see you, Mr. Black, but didn't want to worry you in hospital.

Worry me? You could worry me with 20,000 any time of the day or night.

Well, after all, what have I lost?

A load of bras, a couple of two-way stretchers,

a bit of the right kneecap, and what are we going to get?

What?