Six Dance Lessons in Six Weeks

Oh, my first lesson!

Remember to smile, brief non-political small-talk...

...background information on the dance.

Ooh, Sans Souci!

Hi, Mrs. Harrison!

Hello, Mrs. Harrison.

Who is it?

It's the Dangerous Stranger!

Pardon me?

Just kidding. It's Michael Minetti, Mrs. Harrison.

Mr. Minetti, what company sent you here?

Six Dance Lessons in Six Weeks!

Of course.

- Of course, come in. - Hi, Mrs. Harrison!

- Hi, how are you? - Good.

I... I'm sorry to ask you so many questions,

but I have to be a little cautious when my husband is not home.

I see.

Well, time's up! That'll be a hundred dollars for the first lesson.

Just kidding.

Wow! Look at that view!

Have you been here long?

Yes, my husband and I moved

down here from South Carolina, about six years ago.

We live in Clearwater, but not at the beach.

You and your wife?

Yeah, yeah.

Boy, these ugly high-rises may ruin the view for the rest of us,

but they are sure great from the inside.

Oh, no offense.

None taken.

I didn't build this place.

Can I get you something to drink?

Water would be great.

You know, I pushed all of the furniture back.

I just hope there's room enough.

Absolutely.

Should I pay you now, for the first lesson?

Yeah. On the mantle, like a hooker.

I'm not putting out until I see some cashola.

Sorry, no offense.

None taken... again.

Just gotta get used to my sense of humor.

Do I?

So, you know, we're starting with the Swing,

which became popular, as you may recall, during World War II.

Uh, forget the cotillion and point me to the dance hall,

booze, horny GI's and loose women.

Relax, let your hair down, and make public reference

to your genitals as you jiggle on the dance floor.

Do I have to pay to listen to your two-bit commentaries on the dances you teach?

Not a cent.

And certainly not two bits. But if it slips out,

I'll just extend your time at the end of the lesson.

That's my vitamins.

Mm-hmm.

The dance, though rather free-form,

does have definite steps and patterns, thank God, otherwise who needs me.

That's for sure.

OK.

And I will indicate these to you using these footprints,

left foot black, right foot white...

Mr. Minetti, you have not yet answered my question:

Should I pay you now or at the end?

- Is it really that important? - It is to me.

OK, well, if you're not going to be able to concentrate until you pay me...

It's not question of my inability to concentrate.

OK, if you have this deep, obsessive-compulsive need to write me a check...

I simply want to know what's done!

I don't know what's done!

This is my first fucking lesson, you tight-assed old biddy!

Mrs. Harrison, I am so sorry about that little outburst.

"No offense," right?

Exactly, exactly, no offense.

I just... I had bad day.

- A bad week, in fact. - Yeah, it just got worse.

Grab your footprints and get out of here.

No, no, we haven't even begun yet.

We just... we got off on the wrong foot, so to speak.

I have a feeling that you spend all day on that foot.

Let's see who gets to the door first,

you or building security.

All right.

See, Mrs. Harrison, I haven't had much luck in the job market lately...

What a surprise. Goodbye now.

Are you planning to tell my boss about this?

I promise I'll be better!

No. People don't change.

Shoo! You shoo, shoo.

Before I call the police!

Michael, your lesson's over already?

And my career in ballroom.

Susie, it was a disaster. She hated me. I don't know why.

I did everything that the index cards told me to do.

Oh, that's OK. These things happen.

Really, do you think Cunard will understand?

Oh, no. He'll fire you for sure.

Susie, I need this job!

I'm not qualified for anything else, I'm too old to flip burgers,

I'm up to my ears in bills... What if she calls him?!

It's the Terminator, shit.

- Oh. - I'm Lily Harrison.

I'd like to speak to the manager, please.

- Regarding? - Regarding him!

This foul-mouthed, dancing loony you sent to my home!

I'm so sorry. Mr. Cunard is teaching a class right now, but I can help you.

- I doubt it. - Express yourself!

Is that he?

Uh, well, yes, but you can't interrupt the...

It's all right, It'll just be moment.

You can't go in there! Ma'am!

I think if you understood the circumstances

you'd cut me a little slack here.

You seem like a compassionate woman, Mrs. Harrison.

I mean, not really, but in case I'm wrong,

I want you to know that I need this job.

And yet you've done everything possible to lose it.

How easy for you.

We have no money, my wife is very ill.

And, frankly, I'm not sure she's going to survive.

I'm warning you.

I taught school for 30 years

and I could write the definitive guide on spotting B.S.

I couldn't lie about this. My wife is the bread winner in the house,

and she has not been able to work for months.

This job is the only income we have.

- What does she do? - She's a veterinarian.

- Where? - At the Seminole Cat, Dog, Bird, and Snake Hospital.

- Bird and snake? - Could I make that up?

Susie, what's going on out here?

Mrs. Harrison stopped by

after her lesson with Michael, just to see the studio.

And to meet you, sir.

Mr. Cunard, Mrs... Mrs. Harrison.

I'm charmed.

Is this young man treating you well?

He is...

...one in a million.

Oh!

Good. Welcome to our little family.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Mambo!

Susie?

Who's that?

Oh, that's Michael Minetti,

he's our new in-home course teacher.

In-home? That sounds like fun.

OK, I've done my good deed for the year.

Now I never want to see you again. Is that understood?

Oh... God.

What'll I tell my wife?

Oh, wipe the Mother Teresa expression off your face.

I know better. Come on in, let's get this thing started.

My husband will be home soon.

And I'm warning you, this is just a trial period for you.

I know, and I appreciate it. You're very understanding.

Oh, don't wear it out.

Swing, you were saying,

was invented by and for degenerates during World War II, right?

Precisely! The background is so important, you know,

for capturing the soul of the dance.

I mean, that's really what you communicate when you dance, the soul.

The steps are just conveyances, physical dialogue.

- I like that image. - Good.

Of course, without the steps,

you're just a stupid cow bouncing around on the dance floor.

I like that image less. But it's an incentive.

Exactly.

Now, starting with the triple step to your right...

One-two-three, one-two-three...

Good, Mrs. Harrison! You were holding out on me!

This is the music of my youth, Mr. Minetti!

Michael, please. This puts us on a first name basis.

No, it doesn't.

OK, Mrs. Harrison.

Now, fall away rock:

Right foot back in fall away position,

forward on your left foot, and tap. Again.

Right foot back, forward on your left foot, and tap. Very good.

Now, let's put it together.

One-two-three, one-two-three, fall away, tap. Again.

One-two-three, one-two-three, back, and tap.

That's it!

Oh... Would you turn the music down for me, please?

Too bad. We were just hitting the zone.

- Hello. - Lily!

It's the woman downstairs.

Ida. You don't have to shout, honey.

I thought I had died!

I heard a bunch of broads singing three-part harmony

above me, like noisy Jewish angels.

So what are you... channeling the Andrews Sisters?

No, Ida, I'm dancing.

All alone? Like a crazy woman?

No, I have a partner.

Two of you, no wonder!

Look, I can file a complaint.

Nobody can stop me from dancing in my own unit, Ida.

Can the hollow threats, and I'll turn the music down, OK?!

OK!