Evolution of Evil

- We just wanted to get away from it all.

We just wanted to get away from all the people.

We just wanted to get away from everything.

That's a terrifying sign.

- It's a creepy clown man. - Stop it.

I think they don't want business here.

- That's the whole point. - Yeah.

- It's brilliant marketing. - Hey, how's it going?

My God.

God.

It's so nice out.

You want anything?

- Yeah, I think I'm gonna get some beef jerky, but I'll be

in in a second, I just wanna hang out for a minute.

Okay.

- Yeah! - Woo!

Hey, do you wanna get the normal kind,

or do you wanna try some of this local stuff?

- Local of course, local's always better.

I got you some Preston Pale Ale.

Sweet.

- Is that everything? - Yeah, that'll do it.

That'll be $15.

Actually sorry, I have a question.

Is there somewhere up the road that's a little bit more

secluded that we could camp for a few days, do you know?

I'm sorry, we only take cash.

Are you serious?

You guys don't take cards?

That's cute.

- Well, if you keep driving up Ballard there, it'll

eventually take you up and over the mountain.

I suppose you could find somewhere along the way, probably.

No one goes much further these days,

since they put in the interstate.

Thank you.

People really come up here for the lake.

Okay, we'll check that out, thank you.

- You're welcome. - Here you go.

Thanks.

- Bye, have a good day. - Thank you, you too.

Hi.

So, this seems to be the spot.

Do you wanna go check out the lake and--

No, I don't want to.

We always do that.

I wanna get away from people.

Like, I don't wanna just have to camp right next

to these fucking douche bags.

- But they're just trying to have a nice time.

You're so nice.

I get it, but like, I feel like they

don't even appreciate that they're out in nature.

I mean, this is untouched wilderness and they're ruining it.

You're right.

Good answer.

- But their version of getting away is different

than our version, but ultimately they're just trying

to do the same thing.

- Are you serious? - Besides!

Isn't it better that they stay here?

Why?

It gives us an opportunity to be private

in the big bad woods.

I guess.

Did you notice they were buying PBR?

I did.

- So gross. - The youth these days.

It's upsetting.

- I can't believe they put that shit in their body.

This is really good.

- Will you please turn on some music?

- Sure, you're gonna let me deej?

- DJ Lori in the house. - Cool.

We haven't listened to this in a while.

I love this CD, I forgot about it.

Okay, so...

Up this trail, there's like a small river or a stream,

that we could find a place to camp up there.

- I bet they took better care of this trail

before the fucking Bush administration.

Yeah, right?

- You know, maybe that works in our favor, though.

It'll discourage people from coming up here.

- Yeah, will you lock it? - Yeah.

This is it.

This is how man was supposed to live.

Just...

Surviving in the wilderness.

All he needs is a fire, a knife, and his wits.

Also, bratwurst.

Do we have any more? - Fuckin' bratwurst, yeah.

They are so good. - Sweet, thank you.

Pulling it off the ground. - There you go.

What kind do you want, do you want chicken and basil,

or red pepper? - Red pepper.

Lori, something spicy before bed?

You'll have nightmares.

- You know how I love spicy things before bed.

Well, then Lori gets something spicy.

Don't wag your wiener at me.

You got that? You need some help?

Um, woops, I killed it.

Sorry.

Did you hear that?

- Probably just teenagers shootin' beer cans.

All the way out here?

- Unfortunately, we're probably not the only people

who come out here. - Are you sure?

It's probably those fucking kids from the store earlier.

I thought that they had guns on them.

They're probably tracking you.

'Cause they're douche bag trackers.

- Aww, that's beautiful. - And you're a douche bag.

No, you're not.

- Well, maybe they got all horned and tuned up

from drinking PBR and drivin' their trucks around.

Came out here for a hot little piece of ass.

Well, they came to the right place

for a hot little piece of ass.

Yours.

- Thank you! - You're welcome.

I could tell they liked you.

I work out.

Honey, you don't work out. - No.

I'm sorry, I can't keep it lit.

Here, I got it.

- I've wasted like $40 worth of weed already.

- Yeah, you did. - I hate my book.

I already read it like 12 times when I was 19.

By other authors.

You should play on your phone.

- I hate playing on my phone and I can't find it.

Stop reminding me of that.

My phone died when we got out here.

That's convenient.

How have you even, have you been okay?

- I'm surviving. - You are.

All you need is your knife. - True.

Yeah.

I guess we're just gonna have to have

an old-fashioned conversation. - Awkward.

You cold? - A little bit.

I can warm you up.

I don't have anything to talk to you about.

Is it good to throw dirt on the fire?

If you wanna put it out.

First fire, first time?

Did you just say "tell me about you?"

Tell me about you.

God, we could play Balderdash.

Balderdash.

- Remember when we played that when we were

getting STD tests? - Yes, yeah.