Smiles of Sad Men (Úsměvy smutných mužů)

I knew I couldn't last much longer.

I knew it very well.

But, I couldn't take a single step without alcohol.

Miss, would you like a drink?

All's good.

No worries. One gin, mate!

I felt rehab could be my only saviour.

It was hell.

My name is Josef F .

THE SMILES OF SAD MEN

-What have you brought us? -A drunk from a filling station.

-Here are all the documents. -Right. Thanks a lot.

-Have a nice evening. Goodbye. -Good night.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

For the next 3.5 months, you'll totally block out the outside world.

Forget you even have a mobile. They won't give it back to you for weeks.

You won't be able to talk to your family. Visits will be permitted later

and will only take place on specified days and at specified times.

Even though you're here by choice, they won't let you go home.

Unless you sign a waiver.

But, you are aware of the fact you wouldn't last long out there, right?

Only after you reach a certain point in your recovery, they'll...

...maybe...

...let you go on a holiday by yourself.

My name is Josef.

I'm 45 years old.

I have a wife.

And two kids.

I'm a writer.

-I started drinking when... -Your first time?

-What? -Are you here for the first time?

Honza, stop interrupting Josef.

Go on.

I drank.

But in a way that I had it under control.

How much?

A bottle of hard liquor a day.

Bottle and a half. I'm not sure.

Why did you start drinking?

I'm a fourth-generation android.

Programmed to carry out safe and swift cleaning services.

Milan.

Milan?

Milan's memory unit has short-circuited, so,

don't expect any miracles from him.

Water must've gotten inside his hardware. Or some other dangerous liquid.

Either way, Milan had too much to drink.

Milan?

So.

With the handle, I'm making a motion as if writing the number eight.

Then I flash a loyal smile at the nurse, like this.

Milan.

Milan?

Isn't it a little impractical?

This is nothing. They used to be much longer. Came down to my ass.

But, one day I got so drunk, I shat all over them while taking a dump.

So, I picked up a knife and cut them off.

Who wants to go take a look inside the 26th ward?

Why now, nurse?

They have a fresh delirium case in there.

You can take a sneak peek into your possible futures.

Why...

Why?

I don't want to die.

I don't want to die. No!

In a forest...

-Where did you say you are? -In a forest.

I don't want to go yet!

I think that superior look on your face is just a pose.

She's not picking up.

What were you saying? Thanks.

By the way, I could get two penalty points for this.

You owe me one.

What did you mean by the "pose" comment?

Your wife has three ones in her phone number. That's a good sign.

You must believe everything the doctors and therapists tell you.

Give up your ego. Totally submit yourself to them.

You'll now have lots of time to listen to life stories similar to yours.

And mainly to yourself.

To think about your addiction.

But stay calm.

You're in rehab and that's what she wanted, didn't she?

When they start crawling, you get scared, don't you?

Yeah.

Free your mind now.

And imagine you're stranded

on a deserted island

after a shipwreck.

It's hot here,

quiet,

calm.

I only hear the soft waves of the ocean.

I see a big rock.

Overlooking the island.

You must find water and build a fire.

Mr. Ironman.

You could jump in the water and swim across the entire ocean.

I never even made it to the island.

I'm still stuck in the cold water.

Hold on, I'm swimming toward you.

You can't make it in time.

I see you, as well.

-We'll drag you to shore. -It's no use.

I see I've already drowned.

-Hold on. -We're by your side now.

It's hopeless.

I'm already dead.

I'm an angel now, soaring above you. .

I'm up here to protect you.

I don't want to be down here anymore.

I felt pity..

The same pity that Vláïa felt.

Even though I hate it so much.

That stupid, gargantuan self-pity.

The common denominator for all drunks.

You're all pussies.

Worthless pussies.

All of you.

You give up right away.

Ironman Honza.

A guy who thought won't lose even once in his life.

Attention, everyone.

Honza Kingstein has just entered the race.

He is competing in one of the world's toughest races.

He loves his eyes glued shut by sweat.

The sharp pains in his side.

And most importantly, the feeling when he overcomes every obstacle.

A man with the strongest will in the galaxy.

I'm falling...

I was just scared.

A was afraid to pick that car up from the police pound

-before starting rehab. -I'm falling...

-Your car is still at the cop pound? -Yeah.

That could end up being a pretty costly parking fee.

I know that, too, smartass.

Some people spend fifty thousand on travelling around India for two months.

Others spend it on 6 months of guarded parking for a run-down car.

Life is about choices.

I'm falling again.

Good for you, now go shove that falling up your ass, dick sucker.

Dick sucker?

I played in gay pornos.

Some time ago.

I wanted to be regular actor, you know?

A musician, actor or something like that.

But, it kind of...

...went sideways.

-In a way, porn is art, as well. -That's right.

But, I mostly played as an extra, you know.

They don't give away porn Oscars for that, mate.

Because of our grandma, I only played in German films.

In only German productions. Understand?

Our grandma would never watch German porn.

What about Czech porn?

The more you fight feelings of aversion towards the local system,

-the more time you end up wasting. -Everything will be fine.

Welcome to the paradise of teetotalists.

The quickest path to recovery is suppressing yourself for some time.

Become self-aware.

Realize that no one is trying to torture or bully you in rehab,

but save your life.

OK.

Do you hear that?

There's order behind everything.

This place isn't about bossing people around. It has a deeper purpose.

A life of a non-drinking alcoholic requires strict rules.

You'll get a chance to look back upon your whole life in here.

Not only alcoholics could find that pretty useful, huh?

That's Josef.

He'll write a book about you.

Fantastic.

The Sleep Club.

It's as if every night everyone wanted to fall asleep

and wake up not remembering their past lives.

To awaken clean and pure.

Hold him down.

Hold him tight!

Legs.

-You'll snap at me if I tell you again. -Mom, please.

Did I ever criticize you for not leaving dad when he was cheating on you?

Why should you criticize me? He's your dad, isn't he?

-Well, did grandma criticize you for it? -You bet she did!

-She wanted my life to be better than hers. -Well, then history is repeating itself.

None of them drank the way he does.

Neither your grandpa, nor your dad.

-Certainly not this way. -Please, he'll get through it.

He's fully aware that this is his last chance.

I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Your right leg is heavy.

Imagine your body is exercising right now.

I don't need imagination for that.

I also don't need to start imagining my leg being heavy.

My biggest luck in life is that I'm an alcoholic.

Otherwise, I wouldn't end up here, but on the street.

One time, I put a chocolate candy in my mouth.

It had some kind of eggnog filling.

-Bullshit, it was a rum-flavoured praline. -Rum-flavoured.

-Be careful, they sell those in the buffet. -Yeah, watch out, boys.

They don't contain alcohol, but when the filling mixes with your saliva,