The Price of Nonna's Inheritance (Ricchi a tutti i costi)

Anna!

They've sent him to Ceccano.

THE PRICE OF NONNA'S INHERITANCE

Are we ready?

Yes!

I want you pumped!

The song of Class 3B!

Alan's song!

Who am I?

I know. I think.

Did you recognize me by my hands or by my voice?

Both.

How long has it been?

I'm scared to even say.

Better not say. It's been too long.

I've traveled all of South America. A lot of Chile, a lot of Bolivia,

a lot of Venezuela.

What'd you do over there?

My own kind of theater. Spontaneous.

Incendiary political stuff. I've even been to jail.

Because of your political plays?

Drug dealing.

Political theater in certain countries isn't sustainable unless you deal drugs.

How's your mom? Is she still acting?

No.

No one casts her in anything anymore.

Give me her number.

I'm putting something together and have a role for her.

Are you joking?

I'm not joking.

You'd be doing her a huge favor.

It's too bad, you know.

You and I got together much too soon.

Too soon. We were

small seedlings.

Well,

the way you fucked around,

you were more climbing vine than seedling.

And to get back at me, you hooked up with the guy from 3F.

The asshole.

He's my husband.

Not such an asshole, then.

Look, I'm leaving for Asturias tomorrow.

I'm doing a masterclass to become an animal mime artist.

Imagine that.

Can I call you when I get back?

Yes, of course.

We can go for a coffee,

or maybe eat hay if you come back a horse.

Actually, I wanted to show you my theater.

-I'd love that. -And that's not a sexual innuendo.

No, I didn't think it was a sexual--

Good night.

-Good night. -Night.

Thank you.

These damn sports cars.

Fuck.

ONE MONTH LATER

Excuse me? We're ready to order.

No, we're not. We're waiting for Mom. Thank you, but we're still waiting.

-Waiting for Mom. -Of course.

I wonder what she has to tell us.

I think I know.

What?

It may have something to do with her job, but my lips are sealed.

Maybe she's finally ready to cough up some dough.

-God willing. -Please don't start.

She inherited it. It's her money. She'll do whatever she wants with it.

Please. Carlo, tell them.

Tell them what?

But she's 90. Is she gonna take the six million to the grave?

It's about helping out the family.

For instance, I need to renovate my tea parlor a bit--

-Again? -Just a few things, Dad.

In the meantime, while I job hunt,

it'd be great to have an apartment of my own…

Aren't you happy with us?

Oh, yes.

-But after a year of living with you-- -It's time for him to get the fuck out.

Same idea. I was just more direct with it.

Here she is.

She's here?

Anyway, Dad agrees with us about Grandma's money.

-No. -Oh yeah? Why?

After all the trouble I had renewing my boat license,

I wouldn't mind a dinghy or a little boat.

Okay, so to recap, a tea parlor, an apartment, and a dinghy.

Anything else you'd like to order?

Mom!

-Here you go. -Hello, everyone!

-Hi. -Mom.

-You're so beautiful. -Here we are.

It's been so long.

I know. It's my fault.

Grandma, before I forget, I have a little present for you.

Am I the only one who got Grandma a gift?

It's forest moss tea.

Careful, or mushrooms are gonna grow in your mouth.

Thank you, Ale.

Anyway, I've asked you all to come today

because I have something very important to tell you.

I've met someone who has reinvigorated me.

You deserve it, after all this time.

And to think I'd given up hope.

I know.

But instead,

from the very first night he took me,

my body began to vibrate.

I became like the Strait of Magellan,

passed through and penetrated

by the mighty ships of a skilled explorer.

Gross.

The other night, he lifted me up--

Make her stop.

Here he is!

Hello.

-Hello, everyone. Hi, Anna. -Hello.

Hello.

My love.

-Carlo, right? -Yes.

-I remember you. -Oh, me too.

I'll grab a chair.

-Who is he? -A dickhead.

So, my love? Everything good? Huh?

Are you happy being with your family, your grandchildren?

Anna, I have to thank you.

If you hadn't given me her number, we wouldn't have reconnected,

and Giuliana wouldn't have started acting again.

True.

We're putting together

my adaptation of Hemingway's The Old Woman and the Sea,

with Giuliana playing the old woman.

Oh, the old woman. No kidding.

-And what are you gonna be, the sea? -No. I'll be the marlin.

The fish. Interesting.

We're also renovating his theater, which was falling apart.

No. She exaggerates. It's just a bit worn out.

After all, thanks to God, and the money inherited from Aunt Tea,

we have the funds.

But mostly thanks to you, love.

Thanks to you.

Is the marlin constipated?

Kill me, fish. Only you can do it.

Kill me, sister.

It doesn't matter who kills whom.

Kill yourselves, both of you.

Ouch.

What is it?

Let's take a break. I'm dying in this costume.

How was I?

You're amazing, love. Amazing.

Thank you.

-Take a break while we fix the lights. -Yeah.

-Let's go. -Absolutely.

Tasso?

This is Cuba?

This look like a Cuban night to you?

Okay, this is from a newspaper in Montevideo.

Look. It talks about a Nunzio Zampa in connection with a murder investigation.

The woman, Luisa Rodriguez, was 20 years older than him.

Then there's the Chilean. "Probable arson." Show her that article.

Yeah. Look, Mom. Sorry, but look.

Where'd you get these?

Well, Mom, we had someone investigate.

Who?

A professional.

It just seemed a little strange to us.

What did?

The fact that a vibrant, wonderful man

could fall in love with an old hag like me?

Exactly.

I'm trying to find a gentle way to say this, Mom.

Nunzio killed these women!

What are you talking about, you idiot?

There's no saying it gently. If he killed them, he killed them.

You want a jingle?

You're not jealous by any chance?

Mom, I'm not jealous. I'm worried. Do you understand?

Nunzio married two women, two older women, both rich,

and now they're both dead.

You're rich, you've got six million in the bank, and you're older.

Doesn't that give you pause?

Nunzio's had a hard life.

And I've been alone a long time.

Now you expect me to listen to your petty gossip

and throw my happiness away?

Only if you'd like to live a few more years.

What's that?

-Our wedding rings. -Oh God.

We're getting married in Menorca in two weeks.

What are you talking about?

Then we're moving to Jericoacoara,

a village in the sands of northeast Brazil.

What is this, a soap opera?

How long has she been in her room?

Three hours. She doesn't wanna see anyone.

-Maybe I should go talk to her? -No, for God's sake.

With how depressed you've been, you'll drive her to suicide.

Sorry, I just need something from my purse.

Honey, how are you feeling?