BUNK'D

Listen up, campers. I have some very exciting news to share with you all.

You fixed the holes in the canoes?

Or the holes in our cabin's roof?

Or the holes in the plot of your latest manuscript?

That's right. I read it all.

Hey, you try writing pirate time travel narratives.

They're very tricky.

Going back to what I was saying.

The rodeo is coming to Dusty Tush.

Yes! I love the rodeo.

It's in my blood. My great, great granddad was rodeo royalty.

Did he happen to live in Buckingham Palace?

Well, people, not even a pity laugh?

Y'all are going on the list.

Bill Pickett performed in Buffalo Bill's Wild West show.

He was the first black cowboy inducted into the Rodeo Hall of Fame.

Wow, Bill. That's super impressive.

And since families come from all over Wyoming for this,

I want to showcase our camp

with a Kikiwaka ranch float in the rodeo parade.

Um, I can do that.

The gears are already turning.

I've got so many ideas.

Awesome. Keep them to yourself.

I want the kids to design a float, and I just need you to manage the project.

You're the boss, up to you

if you want to keep the sports car in the garage.

I'll work on the float.

Considering the fireworks incident,

I shouldn't show my face in Dusty Tush for a while.

What fireworks incident?

I mean, building flows my dream.

I'll help, too.

And not because I was with Winnie for the fireworks incident

that definitely did not happen.

Nailed it.

Good job, Jake.

Not instilling a lot of confidence.

Now go show those potential sign-ups just how great Kikiwaka campers can be.

And if you have any questions, feel free to float them by me.

Whatever. I'll take the win.

Hey, look, that's rock Brock Barning...

Aw, good for him.

He got the hook mark off his face.

Bill, I feel like you know everything about rodeos.

Will you show me around?

Sure. Let's start with the cow chip toss.

What's a cow chip?

You'll have a better time if you don't know

-It's cow poo. -Have fun.

Check this out.

Could you imagine the potential sign ups

we could get if Kikiwaka could win this rodeo queen pageant?

I hope you don't expect me to compete.

My pageant days are finished.

Got to get out of the game before the game gets you

I mean we could sign up one of our campers.

This is another opportunity to win over new customers.

Plus, the winner gets a subscription to Tush Valley's Leather of the Month Club.

Oh, look, Juna Spirit.

Just in time for wedding season.

I hope you two aren't thinking about entering this pageant.

The idea that your fake ranch full of greenhorns

would even consider signing up is the funniest thing I ever heard.

And I live in a town called Dusty Tush.

We are gonna sign up one of our campers, and they might even win.

Pigs will fly before that happens, which is impossible

since our pig cannon is on the fritz.

I'd love to prove him wrong.

Do you think you could coach one of our campers to win?

Can't risk it. We need a guaranteed victory.

Me and my undefeated pageant record are coming out of retirement.

Really? Part of me isn't sure that's a good idea.

Three words, Lou. Ferret. Leather. Jumpsuit.

That was just the tipping point I needed.

Let's do this.

All right, what ideas do you guys have

for this float that will represent our camp. Hit me.

There's no wrong answers.

-Flaming arrows! -Forced fairies!

-Chain saws! -Happy clouds!

Flaming chain saws.

A mother's love.

Wow, that was a lot of wrong answers.

You don't like my ideas?

That's a shame, because I've been told I don't handle disappointment well.

Which is so disappointing to hear.

It's not that they're bad ideas, Jake.

It's just that mine are better.

And yeah, yours are bad.

Don't worry, we'll use everybody's stuff.

-Everybody's? -Yeah, it's a good idea, right?

"Parker! Parker!"

That's where you two come in.

"Parker! Parker!"

Okay.

I don't know. I don't think we'll have room for Winnie's stuff.

Why not?

It's a very small float, and mother's love is very big.

-Enough with the mother's love! -Who hurt you, Winnie?

Uh... "Parker! Parker! Parker!"

You know, one of these times, it's gonna catch on.

Isn't that guy serving chili the same one who won the cow chip toss?

How is he not wearing gloves?

Thank goodness I found you.

You're just the guy who can help me, Joah.

My name is Noah.

Who would have a dumb name like Joah?

It's a very popular name in town.

Listen, I need a replacement for our rodeo announcer,

and you're the only other performer in town.

Well, besides the mime who keeps talking about his invisible box.

Show! Don't tell man.

Rodeo announcer, huh?

I've never considered working in an audio only format,

but with a voice as buttery smooth as mine,

I'm your guy.

What happened to the old announcer?

No idea.

One of minute Ernie's eating one of these bowls of chili,

the next I hear him screaming,

"Ah! My insides are on the outside!"

Anywho, be at the rodeo ring in 10.

This is so exciting.

You're going to love calling all the rodeo action.

I know! What is rodeo action?

Roping, steer wrestling, bull riding, bill racing, the usual, you know?

No, I don't know.

Bill, I think I need you in the booth with me.

It'll be rodeo expert, Bill Pickett

and rodeo announcer, Joah Lambert...

Man!

Noah Lambert.

It's in my head now.

We have to figure out how to make all these

float ideas go together, like where should the bear traps be

in relation to the Cotton Candy River.

Said no one ever.

I have a fix.

You can scrap all of Jake's ideas.

No way. The best part of camp isn't the dangers

about how you get to use your imagination.

But there aren't any flying bunnies at camp.

It's abstract surrealism, you plebeian.

Tell Jake he's ruining our flow!

No. Tell Winnie we're not using her stuff.

How about this?

You each get a half. We'll split it right down the middle.

That's what my sister and I had to do

when we had to share a helicopter pad.

Yeah, we're not the most relatable family.

-I call the front half. -No, I call the front half.

-Parker! -Parker!

Please don't make me choose.

Oh, I know, we'll flip a coin.

Then everyone can hate the coin.

I got to get a coin.

Oh, no.

What are you wearing, City slicker?

This is how you dress for a pageant.

I don't care what you think.

I'm a judge.

Okay. Maybe I care what you think.

Good luck, princess.

Here, take this.

Why?

I talked to all the judges, and apparently rodeo pageants

are very different from the pageants that you're used to.

Also, I really think she sets off your dress.

For our first event, the contestants will present their animal.

Let's kick things off with the fairy princess from Kikiwaka Ranch.

What in tarnation are you doing?

I have no idea.

Stand still and answer our question.

Can you tell us about your animal and

how the two of you formed a special bond?

Well, my rooster... Chicken.

Uh, my chicken

is my best friend named Destiny Junior,

and we really bond over

me not eating her.

This is not going well.

The thing about chickens that is so great is they live on... this planet.

That is true.

I never did meet a chicken from outer space.

Yes.

The chickens are part of our ecosystem.

So by taking such good care of my beloved pet,

it's like I'm protecting our delicate environment. Save the planet!

Looks like the environment just pooped on your party dress.

Also, I think that chicken hates you.

Hello and welcome to the Dusty Tush Rodeo,

sponsored by Rent a Cow, for all your bovine needs.

Rent a Cow.

I'm your announcer, Noah Lambert

and beside me in the booth is my rodeo expert, Bill Pickett.

Say hi, Bill.

Okay. Bill has waved to you.

He'll talk next time.

Since you can only hear us.