The Simpsons

Haw‐haw! Green screen.

Lenny, I didn't know you had kids.

I don't.

I hired them to look like I'm a family man.

How you doing, Lenny Jr.?

Never better, Lenny Sr.

Hey, I just got cast

as Krusty's kid at a custody hearing.

Possible recurring.

Later, loser!

Kids.

Welcome, iso‐tots.

Are you having fun?

Excellent. Now, as your parents leave you alone with me,

let's begin the festivities.

Yes, there they go. Bye‐bye.

Last mommy out. Excellent.

I now declare the start

of Put Your Kids to Work Day.

This plant has over 17,000 contaminated crevices

that only your tiny hands can reach.

Get to work, slackers.

At least this ride doesn't have a creepy song.

You'll work for me, or you'll get the lash

You won't get dental, health or cash

No!

Even Mr. Burns can't get away with this.

Oh, Monty, you've still got it.

That was like taking eight hours of work from a baby.

Mr. Burns, according to the child labor laws

of the United States...

Accountability?

In this game of cat and mouse,

I'm afraid Mr. Mouse is far smarter than...

I know you're in here,

and nothing will stop me.

Wait, this is a men's room.

Is that a tuna sandwich on the sink?

Gross, gross, gross!

Oh, employee cave drawings.

Let's see what's on their feeble minds.

There once was a lady from China...

And North Carolina.

I assume what's in between is unimportant.

There!

Someone drew a big, crying cucumber. That's nice.

Something about me.

I'll need my cheaters for this.

What?

They hate me.

Well, maybe things are better in the ladies' room.

Effigies can be burned?

You should have seen

those hateful graffitos, Smithers.

And the drawing of me was so off‐model.

I wouldn't worry, sir.

Our workers are pretty well‐pacified.

- Intimidation. - Alleged intimidation.

- Beatings. - Alleged beatings.

The poisonings.

Ah, yes.

We've had some alleged good times, haven't we, Smithers?

But there is an undercurrent of contempt for me.

No, there isn't.

You said Burns is worse than Hitler.

Well, not worse at his job than Hitler,

but a worse person.

Was that the work whistle?

Who cares.

Everywhere, I'm surrounded by malcontents,

termagants and Lennys.

Well, we could show the workers some actual respect,

considering how many have died.

Or I could go undercover and infiltrate the workers.

I'm beginning to suspect

these monitors have been tampered with.

I've assembled a world‐class team

to create your undercover disguise.

The face mask specialist from the Mission Impossible movies.

I made Ving Rhames look like Kristin Chenoweth.

I don't know any of those words, but I'm impressed.

We'll also provide you with a dynamic new body.

Does everything work?

Everything that works for you now.

Damn it! That's only two things.

And we top off the disguise with a voice modulation chip.

Mr. Burns, I'm gonna make you sound...

hella different.

Oh, yeah.

Let's get to work.

Oh, my God. It's extraordinary.

You now have the body and face of a man half your age.

78? Now, enough gallimaufry.

I want to see my reflection.

Someone bring me a mountain stream.

Say goodbye to Montgomery Burns.

Say hello to Fred Kranepool from turbine maintenance.

Excellent.

Hello, Joe. What do you know?

Just got back from the picture show.

Beat it, weirdo.

You're fired.

You can't fire me.

Hey, newbie. Over here.

Homer Simpson.

Fred...

No, that's not it.

Fred Kranepool.

You seem like a happy lot here at the nuclear plant,

suckling from the teat

of the great C. Montgomery Burns.

You said teat.

Yes, I did, didn't I?

Now that we're chums,

what's on your mind?

Any complaints? Insubordinate remarks?

Actually, now that you mention it...

Yes...?

Better get back to work.

Ah, so soon?

Sorry, but Mr. Burns has a special way

of telling you your lunchtime's over.

I heard the craziest thing.

Some nuclear plants don't have hounds chasing you.

Eh, different world.

I guess when you're on the other side of it,

releasing hounds can be cruel?

Oh, yeah. Super cruel.

I had to get rabies shots in my stomach for a month.

Skipped the last couple.

You poor guys. Here, please.

Here's a Buffalo nickel for each of you.

Hey, thanks a lot, man.

Moe's?

Yeah, it's that bar that was featured

on I'll Drink What Phil's Drinking

with Phil Rosenthal.

What animal is this egg from?

I want to say horse?

Could I be sick in this?

Somebody take Phil to the hospital.

Fred, buddy, you coming?

I'm in. Just need to signal Smithers.

I hate that signal.

Moe, this is our new pal Fred.

Apparently, we've been working with him for years.

We never noticed.

Set him up with a beer. On me.

Fred!

Thank you, friend.

I like the way you said that,

like it was a foreign concept or something.

You know,

it might be John Barleycorn talking,

but you annoying fleas aren't half bad.

All we're looking for is a little friendship and respect.

All right.

To friendship and respect.

And also evil. I mean, I mean, football.

Football!

Sorry, Barn. Your seat's taken.

Oh, you show up late

for your nightly bender just once...

Don't you worry.

I just instituted drive‐through service.

Drive safely.

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

I see you 'round for a long, long time

I remember you

When you drink my wine

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Okay, your turn to sing, Fred.

Fred! Fred! Fred!

Very well.

I've got a toe‐tapper everyone can sing along with.

The Spaniard That Blighted My Life.

The Spaniard That Blighted My Life, BLH1493. Go.

List to me, while I tell you

Of the Spaniard that blighted my life...

Everybody!

List to me, while I tell you

Of the man that pinched my future wife

Those idiots like me for me, Fred Kranepool.

Sir, I'm worried.

The suit just detected a heartbeat.

I'm turning you off.

- Other button, sir. - Shut up.

Where is he?

I'm supposed to read him his bedtime story.

Smithers, what are you still doing up?

I was worried about you, sir.

Worried?

I just had the greatest night of my life.