Desert Punk (砂ぼうず)

I am the one pushin' on ahead just like you, yeah yeah

Won't you please hear me now

and give a name to the demon in the desert

You can't help but clench your teeth

As your heart starts to tremble from the heat

Now stop it It'll only bring destruction

Let's do it! I killed an angel

The time has come to stand and be strong

It's a sad history hidden in a big story

That is the mystery

There's no way now of knowin'

Knowin' about what tomorrow holds for me

So I just keep moving on Living till the moment's gone

Forever just me My mission

The Great Kanto Desert.

During the day the temperatures soar

above a hundred and twenty degrees in the shade.

At night, it takes a nosedive well below freezing.

These ruins are from a forgotten civilization--

one that fell under the weight of its own

thoughtlessness and greed several hundred years ago.

They're here now only as grave markers for the lost promise

of those who willfully destroyed themselves.

And yet somehow their descendants still managed

to survive this harsh terrain over the years...

But these descendants still have no idea

what the hell they're doing.

Namiko, get up!

Come on! If they catch us, they'll kill us all!

Namiko, are you okay?

I'm hungry, mommy. Can I have something to eat?

Are you kidding? We'll eat when we're safe!

Honey, no!!

Tasty...

Let my mommy go, you creep!

Namiko!!

How cute... I always wanted a family.

You can't get away from us.

I think the best thing for you people to do is relax,

and let us take what we want.

But even if you don't, we'll take it anyway.

Please don't violate me!

How could you do that to us?!

Making us think your wife was hot!

Why would you try to protect something that damn ugly? Man!

You have got serious issues, loser!

Hey guys! You fellas happen to be part of the Kawazu Gang?

Who are you?

Kinda small to be in the desert alone, huh?

My size isn't the issue, chief.

You the ones who attacked the oasis transport truck

at Water Station forty-five three days ago?

You can take that question and cram it up your ass!

Cram it up your ass!

Up the ass!

Yeah, that treasure you stole--

the owner hired me to come take it back.

Yeah...? What are you, some kinda cop? We kill cops!

We also kill bounty hunters!

We kill anything!

First off, no police officer would dare make their way

out to this God-awful Dutch oven of a place.

Second, bounty hunters just pick on the weakest and smallest.

I guess I can't complain though, I do get a lot of work.

Just tell me where that idiot boss of yours is

and we can call our business done.

Hell, I might even let you walk away.

Aww... I offended them.

This is really getting old.

You think we used enough bullets to finish him off?

Hey!! Look up there!!

Whoa! How's he flying around like that?

He's that demon! I knew it!

He's gonna eat our souls!

It's the Desert Punk!!

What did you do...? I feel like I'm dying over here...

It's my uber-badass paralysis spray.

No taste, no smell, no color. I'd say it works like a charm.

Y-You...

I have a reputation as a man

that will complete any job given to me.

It's not a reputation I intend to lose.

I worked too hard for it.

So why don't one of you three slobbering nimrods tell me...

Where the hell is that damn hideout of yours?! Huh?!

I ain't gonna say it again. Fess up! I demand answers!

I'm gonna keep beating you util you tell me!

Answer me! Where is it?!

Fifty-five, fifty-six...

Fifty-seven, fifty-eight, fifty-nine, sixty. That's it.

Your lives today were saved for two hundred thousand yen each.

That's a fantastic deal.

I hope to do business with you again in the future. See ya!

This... was all because I am weak.

I couldn't protect you and now were dead broke!

Why'd I marry such a tool?

What? Those three wouldn't just end up missing for no reason.

None of them are answering their coms, either.

They were in charge of guarding Sector Thirty-three in the west.

Those three jokers are too busy playing around out there.

That makes three jokers who aren't

getting any after dinner pudding.

Sir! I'll personally see to that!

Make sure their pudding is on my plate tonight.

Pudding, pudding! Sweet, luscious pudding!

Oh, it's worth living and dying for!

Boss! I have bad news!

Yeah, what is it?

I found a letter at the entrance.

At first I thought it was crap, but it's signed by Desert Punk!

Mmm... Desert Punk... How neat...

The reportedly small mercenary who's going around

tearing up gangs using magic-like powers...?

Sounds interesting... Read it.

Of course... Here goes... "Dear Stupid Idiot Boss Man.

I am here to take your head.

You can fight me if you want, but don't bother running.

It'll just wear you out before I kill you

and that's no fun for anyone.

I've already busted up those dumbass losers of yours,

and you're next, Jackass Boss. With love, Desert Punk."

Uh-oh...

Yeah...?

Amazing. He calls Makoto all those nasty things,

and he doesn't even flinch.

He's like a rock.

That's why he's the boss.

He's pretty damn cool, if ya ask me.

And P.S.... Your mother is nothing but a dirty whore.

My mother... ain't no... whore!

Boss is upset again!

I don't want to deal with this.

Careful...

What a face!

And those knockers!

Are you all right lady?! Holy crap, please be all right!

I'll take care of you!

Sorry I kicked you.

I thought you were a scavenger trying to steal my clothes.

Uh, okay. Look. I just wanna know

what you're doing all the way out here.

In such a sexy little number-- I mean, hot pants.

Look at you, you'll be blistered and sun-poisoned

in less than a day unless you have some more clothes.

Actually... I ran...

I ran away! Please save me!

You're my new hero...! You can finally save me!

Save you from what, exactly?

I was kidnapped and dragged through the desert,

forced to travel with that pudding-obsessed Kawazu guy.

I couldn't take it, so I found a way out and I ran away.

What did those bastards make you do?

I was told by Makoto that I would make him vats

of his mother's pudding for the rest of my life...

He'd whip me until I got it perfect...

Man, that's pretty hot. I mean, sure, the guy's gotta pay,

but damn, she probably looked good making that pudding.

Please help me...! I could die out here!

Don't cry.

Look, booby girl, I've got some business to attend to

with those Kawazu jerks, titties.

Let me take care of that, and then, fun bags,

I'll escort you personally back to the oasis.

How's that sound, milk mounds?

Wait a second... Those three guards

aren't roaming around out here anymore...

Hey, yeah, you must be that guy!

She knows my work?

What's wrong with you, lady? Are you okay?

It's the relief of finally being safe since you're here.

It's overwhelming.

At this moment, this woman truly needs me.

She needs every ounce of courage I can muster.

She's relying on me to save her very life!

She will suffer, nay! I'll see it to the end!