The Simpsons

D'oh!

-Aah! -(tires screech)

Here's your caption boys:

"Local hero shuns spotlight and pitches in."

What an angle.

I can't believe I'm spending my Saturday picking up garbage.

I mean, half these bottles ain't even mine.

Let's have less conversation and more sanitation.

Hey, where's Homer?

How'd he get out of this?

Hey, everybody!

Up here!

Simpson, stop frolicking and get to work.

Right away, Mr. Smithers.

I'll just walk across these slippery ro... aah!

Oh, no! He's going over the falls!

Oh, good. He snagged that tree branch.

Oh, no! The branch broke off.

Oh, good. He can grab on to them pointy rocks.

Oh, no!

Them rocks broke his arms and legs.

Oh, good. Those helpful beavers

are swimming out to save him.

Oh, no.

They're biting him and stealing his pants.

Good Lord. He'll be sucked into the turbine.

Smithers, Who was that corpse?

Homer Simpson, sir.

One of the finest, bravest men

ever to grace Sector 7G.

I'll cross him off the list.

That dummy worked like a charm, Dad.

Best 600 bucks I ever spent.

Come on, boy.

We've earned this Saturday.

Now let's make the most of it!

61, 62, 63...

Marge, we can't tell you how sorry we are.

You have our deepest condol-diddly-olences.

I'm sorry. I-I'm just nervous.

I didn't mean any disrespect.

What are you talking about?

You know, uh...

Homer's passing.

Away.

Into death.

What?

That's ridiculous. Homer's not dead.

He's right out back in the hammock.

Oh, Marge, of course Homer's alive.

He's alive in all our hearts.

Yes, Marge.

I can see him.

Hi, everybody.

Marge, I'm going to give you the card

of our juvenile counselor.

A tombstone?

It came with the burial plot.

But that's not important.

The important thing is, Homer's dead.

We've been saving for this since your wedding day.

Get out of here you ghouls!

Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.

Hmm?

Uh, excuse me.

Sir, I think there's been a mistake.

Oh, no. No mistake.

Your electricity's in the name

of Homer J. Simpson, deceased.

The juice stays off till you get a job or a generator.

Oh, and, uh, my deepest sympathies.

Mmm... Homer?

That's my name.

When I asked you if that dummy

was to fake your own death, you told me no.

You go downtown first thing in the morning

and straighten this out.

Mom! Dad!

Bart ran into a doorframe and bit his tongue!

What the hell'th goin' on heah?

Listen here. My name is Homer J. Simpson.

You guys think I'm dead, but I'm not.

Now I want you to straighten this out

without a lot of your bureaucratic red tape and mumbo jumbo.

Okay, Mr. Simpson

I'll just make the change here... and you're all set.

I don't like your attitude, you water-cooler dictator.

What do you have in that secret government file, anyway?

I have a right to read it.

You sure do.

"Wife: Marjorie.

Children: Bartholomew, Lisa..."

Ah-hah! See? This thing is all screwed up.

Who the heck is "Margaret" Simpson?

Uh... your youngest daughter.

"Uh... your youngest daughter."

Well, how about this?

This thing says my mother's still alive!

She died when I was a kid!

You see that stone angel up there?

That's my mother's grave.

My Dad points it out every time we drive by.

Mr. Simpson, uh...

maybe you should actually

go up there.

Huh?

Oh, Mom, I'm sorry I never come to see you.

I'm just not a cemetery person.

"Here lies...

Walt Whitman"?

Damn you, Walt Whitman!

I-hate-you- Walt-freakin'-Whitman!

Leaves of Grass, my ass!

Wait a minute.

Maybe it's that other grave-- the one that says "Simpson"!

Oh!

Why does my death keep coming back to haunt me?

Oh!

You awful, awful man!

Get out of my son's grave!

I hate to rain on your parade, lady, but this is my grave.

Hey...

wait a minute...

Mom?

Homer?

I thought you were dead!

I thought you were dead!

Oh, dang blast it.

Isn't anybody in this dad-gummed cemetery dead?

I didn't want to cause a fuss

but now that you mention it...

Oh, Homer, you grew up so handsome.

Some people say I look like Dan Aykroyd.

I can't believe you're here.

Dad always told me you died while I was at the movies.

Oh, my poor baby.

You must have been so upset.

But I suppose Abe has his reasons.

Yeah, well... where have you been all this time?

Oh, it's a very complicated story.

Let's just enjoy this moment.

Mom, there's something you should know about me.

I almost always spoil the moment.

I'm sorry.

That's okay, darling.

It wasn't your fault.

Hey, everybody, I got a big surprise for you.

Presenting... my mother!

Your mother? That's Grandma Simpson?

Can you believe it?

I thought she was dead.

Hello.

This is so weird.

It's like something out of Dickens

or Melrose Place.

Where have you been, Granny?

Did they freeze you or something?

Oh, my, such clever grandchildren.

So full of questions and bright, shiny eyes.

I don't know what to say.

I finally have a mother-in-law.

No more living vicariously through my girlfriends.

Hey.

Since you were a no-show

at all the big moments of my life,

you owe me years of back presents.

Christmases, birthdays, Easters, Kwanzas, good report cards...

Hmm. 75 bucks a pop plus interest and penalties...

You owe me $22,000.

I'll Kwanza you!

Gaa! Gaa!

Homer, don't be so hard on little...

What is his name?

This is my room.

This is my dresser.

It's where I keep my shirts when I'm not wearing them.

Oh, yes, right in the drawers.

You remembered.

Oh, I've missed moments like this... Mom.

I saw all your awards, Lisa.

They're mighty impressive.

Oh, I just keep them out to bug Bart.

Don't be bashful.

When I was your age, kids made fun of me

because I read at the ninth-grade level.

Me too!

Hey, Mom, look at me!

Look at what I can do!

I see you, Homer.

That's very nice.

Although I hardly consider "A Separate Peace"

the ninth-grade level.

Yeah, more like preschool.

I hate John Knowles.

Me too.