Don't Look Now... We're Being Shot At! (La Grande Vadrouille)

A bomber of the Royal Air Force.

Squadron 261 - flying at night over Germany.

Mission code name:

"TEA FOR TWO".

Right. To the right!

Good, to the right.

Ready! Hold it like that.

- Roger. - Bombs ready. Drop!

Bombs dropped!

A TURBULENT JOURNEY Together out, together home.

- Are you okay? - Yes, back to your post.

Are you all right, sir?

Fine, but the aircraft is wrecked.

One engine down, radio blown up... Are we still getting back to England?

Stupid song too. Peter, come here!

Yes, sir.

Where the hell are we?

Here, sir.

Seriously. Where are we?

Directly above Calais, sir.

Calais?

Alarm! Aircraft spotted! Air raid!

All men to their posts!

Enemy aircraft in sight. Ready to fire.

Fire!

Tail on fire. The tail is burning, sir!

Pilot to crew: prepare to jump!

Jump, boys!

One moment. The rendezvous?

- What? - The meeting point!

Oh yes, in the Turkish bath. In the mosque.

At Austerlitz station.

Hurry up!

A parachute there!

Three parachutes!

Damn it!

The water is cold today, isn’t it?

Quick. Come on!

Your hand!

Give me your hand! Hurry!

- Thank you. - American?

No, English.

Hurry, we’re opening up, it's full of Germans.

They’ll grab you, and me too. Move it!

Give me that parachute.

Grab your things. Come on! Let’s go!

You have to get up there!

Because of him I’ll fall again!

Attention!

Present arms!

Look to the right!

General.

SS unit Sturm 512, 30 men in position.

Oh, sorry.

Sabotage! Get him!

Did I make you dirty?

Take those two men away! Sabotage!

A misunderstanding!

We have to get out quickly!

No way.

Fire!

- Help! - I’m coming!

Cease fire!

Search that house! Quick!

Bad place to land.

Are you injured?

It’s high, isn’t it?

Thank you, gentlemen. That was magnificent!

No, thank you.

You there, you played well.

You there, that was mediocre.

I didn’t hear you. We never hear you.

You always talk. Watch out!

I feel this piece. You played without pride.

I want more pride!

Weak stuff!

It wasn’t bad, but very bad.

We start again at bar 17.

Go!

No, gentlemen! Are you chatting again?

You just keep talking!

Get involved! Use those tongues!

We start again at bar 17.

- Who did that? - Me, maestro.

- Where do you think you are? - In the Opera.

Funny. Out!

Mephisto, Margarete, Faust: out!

Nobody in the hall while I work!

I want only Berlioz and myself.

A little less noise up there!

Pardon us.

Number 17.

No, gentlemen. Brass section, clearer! More brilliant! Like lightning!

Aren’t you coming, darling?

Yes, I’ll come soon.

Do you have the detonator bomb? - Here it is.

Now connect. Check if anyone is outside.

Fill the gap.

If you all make such a racket, Maestro Lefort will come sniffing around.

- Ready? - With a wreath. He can explode.

There’s a carnation sticking out.

Don’t touch! The wire is connected there.

This is going to end badly.

Silence!

Search everything.

Light!

Everyone stays here. No one goes outside.

Forbidden.

A British parachutist came in here. Helping is forbidden.

That carries the death penalty!

- Achbach. - Stanislas Lefort.

Conductor, we shot down a British bomber over Paris.

Two airmen are captured, one is hiding here.

I’m sorry the music has to stop.

Heard that? It's over. The rehearsal lasted 12 minutes,

interrupted by machine guns.

That promises something for tonight!

Firewood.

Let me through.

What nerve! Interrupting a rehearsal!

What is this?

- What did you say? - Don’t move.

Are you okay? Everything fine?

Follow me. Come with me.

Come.

Men, search all the houses here.

Müller, start on the first floor.

At your orders.

I’m English and wounded.

I’m French. The Germans... I beg you.

Faster.

Open up!

I’m fed up!

Open up!

Otherwise I’ll kick the door in.

Calm down. We’re coming.

Pardon, gentlemen.

General search.

I’m fed up too!

Shut up, you bitch. There are people at the door!

Don’t mind her. Come in.

How lucky your women are far away.

Say, soldier. Since you’re here, catch this suitcase

and put it on the bed. I’m leaving. Raus.

Stop it, idiot. Does everyone need to enjoy the show?

I’m not staying another minute with that fool.

Wait until they’re gone. Then you’ll get yours.

No one on the balcony.

Nothing to report.

I’m terribly sorry.

Come on, men. Let’s go.

They’re one floor higher. Quick!

If he goes to six, the Englishman will be crushed.

You are too heavy.

She always leaves the door open.

I’ve lost him.

The key! I always put it under the mat and now it's gone.

Quick!

Leave it, it’s not important.

Thank you. Peter Cunningham, Royal Air Force.

Augustin Bouvet, painter and façade cleaner.

Bury that immediately. Dangerous.

I have six children. My wife sews shirts until the end of the war.

Shirts...

Thank you.

Say, mister! Your moustache... dangerous.

They’re gone. No one left in the street.

Then we’ll go too. I’ll take him home.

To your home?

Where else? - The Germans are surely already there.

At my home?

Do you have a telephone?

- Yes, Clignancourt 1335. - Wait a moment.

No one answers. I’m not at home, I’m here.

Mr. Augustin Bouvet?

You’re speaking to Bouvet.

He’s lying. It’s not me.

What happened?

The Germans are at my house.

Sorry. This whole mess is my fault.

Without you I would have been home and it would have been over.

What a situation. What a situation!

What am I going to do now?

Sorry, I have to go. I have to go to the Turkish bath.

What did he say?

He wants to go to the Turkish bath. You are clean.

You are very clean.

No, you don’t understand.

My commander arranged to meet us in the mosque in Paris.

He met his comrades at the Turkish bath.

Typical English idea: Turkish bath.

Wounded and not a word of French... he gets caught immediately.

All right, I’ll go.

I’m going to your Turkish bath.

Really? You’re amazing.

I’m looking for clothes for him.

We’ll meet at my grandfather’s.

What address? - The puppet theatre on the Champs-Élysées.

And how do I recognize your squadron commander?

Oh yes. He has a huge moustache, and the signal is "Tea for Two".