NCIS

Good God almighty, get me out of here.

My head is about to explode.

That was the longest 3 hours of my entire freaking life.

You're the one who said no to the muzzle.

I wanted to shut his pothole 2 hours ago.

It's "pie-hole." And by the way, we went to the Arby's drive-thru.

No such thing as a ride-thru. How long have you lived here anyway?

- Man, get off me. - I'll pay you to take him upstairs.

- Just name your price. - My rock beat your scissors.

Besides, I've got $5 million in heroin.

- That's nothing. - Really?

I have a feeling your South African suppliers won't feel the same way.

Considering how much you owe them, be thankful you're in our custody.

We're your new best friends.

I don't care what you do to me. I'm not talking.

I find that really hard to believe. All yours, Agent David.

Come on man, take off the cuffs.

Yeah, what's his problem?

You. You're insulting, you're crude and most of all you are extremely annoying.

I'm annoying? He's the one rambling on and on about Top Gun,

giving me a freaking migraine.

I didn't realize I had to sit in silence the entire trip.

Last I checked, the First Amendment guaranteed…

Enough!

- Get in. - No.

- He's a newbie. - Thank you.

He's dead.

I've been traveling to crime scenes for many years,

but I can say with complete confidence,

this is the shortest commute I have ever had.

And one of the first times I didn't get us lost.

True.

All yours, Duck.

Sure appreciate all the help, Tony.

That's a nice outfit, Probie.

Okay, the handbook says that we are required

to wear this outfit at all active crime scenes. You know that.

Yeah, but not in our own building.

That's like wearing a name tag in your own apartment.

Tony?

Come here.

How's she holding up?

I… I don't know. I haven't talked to her yet.

May I ask why?

Because I told him not to, Ducky.

Excuse me.

Right now, she's a suspect, not an investigator.

Boss, you don't think Ziva's capable of this, do you?

Well, I mean she's capable of it,

but you don't really think that she would just…

Kill someone?

Not without a good reason.

Look, we all know that Ziva has crazy ninja skills,

but I mean, she's got some self-control, right?

Not a lot, some?

Never mind.

Forgive me for overstepping Jethro, but you and I both know that

this is far beyond Officer David's character.

It's not me or you I'm worried about right now, Duck.

We have a cause of death?

Well, at this point I'd only be speculating.

We won't know anything specific until I get him back

well, downstairs I suppose.

No bruising?

Yeah well, the only injury I've been able to find

is this on the top of his head here.

Sorry.

I'll zig.

You zag.

Here, allow me.

It looks recent.

Yeah, well based on its location,

it appears that he struck his head on one of these rails when he fell.

Come on, Jethro, I mean,

there's no sign of any physical altercation.

Duck, with her training, there wouldn't be.

- Ready to hear my side of the story? - Well, we're not gonna hear his.

I didn't touch him.

Hardly at all.

When the elevator doors opened, he refused to get in.

If this was a year ago, I would have snapped his neck,

but it's not and I didn't.

I asked him several times to step into the elevator.

He wouldn't cooperate.

- And that's when I struck him. - How?

- With my fist. - Where?

In the jugular.

Can you believe I'm about to go to my first crime scene?

It's not a good time.

It was just a little love tap.

Choked him up for a couple of seconds, that's all.

Look, I know this looks bad.

I also know with Brian Dempsey dead,

it's nearly impossible to bring down his South African distributors,

much less prosecute his brother.

That's not our biggest problem here, Ziva.

It appears there's only one way to fix this.

I've seen it in your American movies.

This is where I resign.

Next time you hand me your badge,

you had better be prepared to lose it.

After all these years, I'm finally losing my crime scene virginity.

Wow, I don't think that's ever been said before.

I think we've got enough crime scene pictures.

Sorry, McGee. I just…

Maybe your hat is turning me into some sort of super agent.

That's weird, because it never had that affect on McGee.

Why do I feel like everyone's staring at me?

Because they are.

Did I do something wrong?

Have you ever been to Disneyland, Abby?

Every summer.

You know those camera-toting tourists with the tall white socks

up to their knees, wearing fanny packs?

Well yeah, we spend half the time laughing at them…

Oh, my God.

I've turned into my Uncle Larry.

This man doesn't look a day over 30, Doctor.

According to his arrest report,

he would have been 25 next month.

So, assuming Ziva didn't kill him, that means he just dropped dead?

It would appear that way, wouldn't it?

He's so young.

Yes, my Father used to say:

“We must live for today, because yesterday is gone,”

“and tomorrow may never come.”

You know, that's really beautiful, Doctor.

Yes, unfortunately, he never practiced what he preached.

He was always a bit of a penny-pincher.

A Papa Scrooge, if you like.

That was one reason that he and my Mother went their separate ways.

Yeah, most people don't know this,

but financial disputes are the second leading cause of divorce.

- Really? What's number one? - Marriage.

Actually, I'm pretty sure it's infidelity.

See, the study I read said that… never mind.

I understand your sense of urgency Jethro,

but my examination is still under way.

Just tell me what you know, Duck.

Well, so far I found no life-threatening abnormalities.

What about his throat?

We did, in our internal examination,

find a slight irritation of the anterior jugular,

perhaps caused by a physical blow.

Was the blow fatal?

It didn't appear to be.

Look, I won't know the cause of this man's death

until I've completed my work.

MRIs, Abby's tox screen, and they're all forthcoming.

I know what you want to hear Jethro,

but Officer David is not off the hook yet.

Will you stop doing that? You're making me nervous.

How long can it possibly take?

Well, I don't know, Ziva. It's an autopsy, not an oil change.

You know, I don't think we're supposed to be talking about the case with her.

It's a simple conversation, you know?

"What do you have, Ducky?"

"Well Jethro, this reminds me of a time back at Scotland Yard when I…"

"To the point, Ducky?"

"Well, based on my preliminary findings, Ziva did not kill this man."

What?

What?

So?

Did you talk to Ducky?

- Yeah. - And?

And now I have to go talk to the Director.

Maybe she really did kill that guy.

Hey Gibbs, what did Ducky say?

Gibbs.

Are you going to tell me anything, or not?

There's nothing to tell yet, Ziva.

Stan, it's Cynthia again.

I'm really starting to get worried.

Please call me as soon as you get this.

- Is she in? - Still not back from lunch.

And he's been waiting for a half an hour.

He'll survive.

It's not like her, Agent Gibbs. She's never been late for a meeting.

You try her driver?

Stan's not answering his cell or pager.

I've left him 4 messages.

I really don't know what else to do. I've been calling her cell…

- Agent Gibbs. - Director.

We've got a major problem here.

Sorry to hear that, Jethro. I have quite a serious problem myself.

I'm pretty sure you're gonna wanna hear mine first.

I'm not entirely sure that's true.

You really should be listening to her problem, Jethro.

You're holding my heroin and my little brother.

If I don't get both back in 2 hours, she dies.

I'll call back with the details.

She called in at 11:45 when she arrived at the Whitmore Hotel.

According to the Senator's Assistant, lunch was over at 12:50,

10 minutes ahead of schedule.

- She never checked in again. - I need to see her itinerary.

I can't do that, Agent Gibbs.

I'm not trying to be difficult, but the Director's been very clear.

Her schedule is confidential, even to you.

Are you done?

Director Shepard has been kidnapped.